In which you tell your fellow Dopers five lies about yourself

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

1 - I showed Leo Fender how to make an electric guitar
2 - I taught Chuck Berry how to duckwalk
3 - I showed Jimi Hendrix a thing or two, too
4 - I played Jimmy Page’s solos from backstage
5 - I AM Dave Gilmore

Si

42

  1. I am the rightful emperor of China. (My reign-name is Dong Hang Lo. Of the Wang Dynasty.)

  2. I dumped Kirsten Dunst when she got too clingy.

  3. You know those “Will Work for Food” guys? I always take them home and sacrifice them to Cthulhu.

  4. The collapse of the dot-com bubble was my fault. I was the one responsible for figuring out Step 2 (the one before “Profit!”).

  5. I have a pet thylacine and I can’t even remember where I got him.

43
  1. I collect 1/72-scale models of pre-war breadcrumbs, and paint them individually by hand using a 4" brush.
  2. A friend in Delhi has a WiFi-enabled fridge and wireless router, which allows me to eat dhosas and pakoras over the internet.
  3. During times of drought, I have been known to lick the morning dew off garden furniture for sustenance. This is unusual for the UK.
  4. I was recently asked to participate in Big Brother, but it fell through when we all realised that no-one would ever vote me off.
  5. When I watch porn movies, the women in them fantasise that I’m the guy.
44

  1. I am asleep as I post this.

  2. I have never lost a hand of poker in real life or online play.

  3. I have reached my goal weight of 130 lbs.

  4. I have designed a house that magically cleans itself and pays me in home cooked meals nightly in appreciation.

  5. I receive $1 for every spam email you delete unread.

45
  1. I am the egg man.
  2. I lied about being the egg man.
  3. I lied about my lie.
  4. I lied about lying about my lie.
  5. I lied about lying about lying about my lie.
46

I have Hitlers missing testicle, in a small box, on the hall table
I am Keeley Hazells secret lover
I am Scarlett Johanssons secret lover
I am the secret lover of all of Elindels Heirs wives
I am exhausted

47

I’m really only software limbering up for the Turing test.

HAL 2000 used to be my best friend but we had a falling out.

Now Orac and I hang out.

By and large people are predictable.

There’s less to be said for thought and travel at the speed of light then you might think.

I’ll stop posting now to cool down.

48

[ol]
[li]I have a mysteious ability to affect street lighting[/li][li]I have worn the same pair of socks for the past eleven days[/li][li]I once had a job as a sideshow geek[/li][li]I am seventh in line to the throne of Swaziland[/li][li]I am Bill Gates’ hairdresser[/li][/ol]

49

1-Josh Holloway asked me to marry him. I said yes.
2- Angelina Jolie constantly calls me for beauty tips.
3- I have seven Lithuanian midgets living in my basement.
4- Zsa Zsa Gabor is my mother.
5- I invented White Out

50

Now that’s a lie! :mad: