Happy Birthday to the loveliest, smartest, best-dressed secretary in the entire office. This must be your 18th birthday, right ?
Sincerely - Eddie Haskell
WHoreAssPissPissYam BitchRaTWHoreDAmnYam!
Hey, the idea is funny. The execution, maybe not so much.
“Happy birthday—may you meet death on your feet, with blood-slicked Steel in thy grip. Let the foundations of Valhalla tremble with the approach of your footsteps!”
I was quite pleased with an effort for a 50th birthday card…
‘don’t think of 50 as being old…
…if you were a tortoise you wouldn’t even have reached middle age yet!’
What I almost put in a card for my sister last year:
“Bitch, why aren’t you dead yet?”
“There are so few women who swallow, these days.”
“Happy Birthday to a woman who REALLY appreciates a fine bottle of Boone’s Farm.”
“I left a twenty on your nightstand.”
“I don’t know why women your age even bother to bleach their facial hair.”
.
.
.
If none of these are inappropriate enough, just get a two-line rubber stamp
**HAPPY BIRTHDAY ___________
Siddhartha Vicious**
“I’m not saying that you’re old, I’m just saying that somewhere in an attic there’s a portrait of you that’s getting really young.”
…and yet, it NEVER gets old…
Happy birthday to you. (You, you, you. Why is everything always about you?)
“Birthdays are like poison cupcakes. You can only have so many before you’re dead” – Rob Fairchild