While I see your point of view, I think of it on the other side. If a friend of mine is having a birthday party, whether at a sushi restaurant or a destination trip to Barbados, the point isn’t if I want to go or afford to go or could go, it’s more about being invited and included. A post hoc “Hey, I just celebrated my birthday with all my friends but since I know you don’t like sushi I didn’t invite you but look at all the fun pics we posted on Facebook without you” could come off as hurtful (and verbose). I’m allergic to seafood- I’ve had allergic reactions to burgers because they were cooked on the same grill as seafood at a seafood restaurant. So yeah, I’d stop at McDonald’s en route, fill up, and then join the party with a drink and dessert.
So many people (not just Americans) are culture-bound in what they will eat, and in my opinion as a result miss out on a lot. Of course I should talk. I’ve had cobra and cockroach and wasps and jellyfish and yak cheese and rat and durian and even sugared popcorn, but there is no way I would ever eat a pooch or a fillie.
Sounds like Dreamland. “Ain’t nothin’ like 'em nowhere,” was the tagline for their ribs. When I was in college, I took a date there. She ordered a barbecue sandwich, and got three ribs on two pieces of white bread. When they said “We serve ribs, white bread, and potato chips,” they weren’t kidding.
Dreamland has since franchised, and their menu is more extensive now (although still barbecue-based).
Speaking of specialized - Yume Wo Katare - a restaurant I walk by every day - serves only one thing, in two sizes. Ramen with pork or ramen with more pork. That’s all there is to choose - the size of your soup. No sharing, no takeout, no taking home leftovers, no phones or pictures.
I haven’t been yet, but I hear it’s amazing. The line starts at 4:30 and is constant until they close.
miso soup
edamame
cucumber rolls
avocado rolls
those things that are just rice and egg
spring rolls
gyoza
negimaki
ice cream
There. A menu for the fish hater, even at the most limited of sushi dives. But I have a feeling the OP doesn’t actually care, s/he just hears “sushi restaurant” and goes into convulsions. Look, you don’t always get your way. On someone else’s birthday, you don’t get your way.
Man up and take monstro’s perfect advice–treat your friend to a birthday dinner on a separate night. If it’s just the two of you, maybe she’s less likely to spend the entire time on her cell phone.
And if she does anyway, hey, no more friend, you’re off the hook for sushi outings in the future.
Yeah, it was Dreamland. I checked their website to make sure but they now have lots of other things on the menu so I wasn’t sure if I was remembering the right place.
Yes to all of this. And, if I invite a group of people, I would be uncomfortable and not able to enjoy it if I knew they had to frigging eat beforehand in order to be able to come.
I didn’t say “don’t invite them.” I just think it’s rude to tell those people that they are welcome to eat at home and come anyways. Of course they are welcome to do that. What she’s actually saying is “I want you to eat at home and come anyways, even though there will be nothing to accommodate you.”
It honestly comes off a present grab to me. That is, of course, if the OP didn’t put his own spin on what the invitation actually said.
As long as you just invite people to come to the steakhouse and mention the menu, that’s fine. Let people who don’t like the menu make up their own mind on whether they want to be with you enough to come anyways, even if they have to eat at home. Don’t actually “invite” them to eat at home and come anyways.
Except that didn’t happen. The invitation itself included a clause “inviting” people to eat at home and come anyways.
And, the fact that no one is forced to do anything has nothing to do with it. This whole thread is about how “sophisticated” people don’t hate sushi. Well, “sophisticated” people should also know what is and is not proper to put on an invitation.
For example, if she told people that a present was required to come, you could say exactly what you just said, but all of would know for sure it was it a present grab. The same thing applies here. You don’t invite specifically invite people to come while telling that you aren’t going to accommodate them. That also comes off as a present grab to me.
Of course I am free to come and not order anything. Of course I am free to eat at home. These aren’t things that need to be in an invitation. By putting it in there, she’s specifically asking people to do this, and that’s just rude.
It’s inconsiderate enough that she’s not considering anyone else with her choice of venue, but that’s at least acceptable for a subject of a birthday party. But throw in asking some people to eat at home, and that tips it from inconsiderate but acceptable to just plain inconsiderate.
As for the OP not knowing if there’s cake–that’s why I included the disclaimer. If there is cake or other things for the non-sushi eater to do, then she is being considerate by providing additional accommodations. Though I still say she shouldn’t have mentioned “eating at home.” Just say “If you don’t like sushi, there will still be cake and activities, and I hope you will still come.”
“You can eat at home” may not be a very artful thing to say, but it’s not rude or inappropriate. Sometimes it needs to be said, because some people are crass enough to bring outside food into a restaurant.
You are overthinking this way too much. An invitation isn’t asking anyone to do anything. It’s saying, “Hey, I’m going to be doing X, Y, Z at this particular time and date. If you want to do X, Y, Z with me, you’re wecomed to. And if you want to just do Z, don’t worry. You’ll be welcomed as well!”
All the stuff about gifts is a red herring. I’ve never been to an adult’s birthday party where we were expected to bring gifts. It’s always been just about celebrating and having a good time.
Regardless of how hard people attempt to parse this situation to find offensive and lack of consideration, it’s simply not either of those things. It’s completely explainable with an understanding of normal human interaction. Birthday girl wants sushi, asks people to meet up for sushi, and warns people that there might not be non-sushi things and they might want to still come for drinks or whatever.
The OP can go, and have non-sushi things (which ARE available at a sushi bar), or just drinks, either not eating or eat before. Take a present or don’t. Invitations don’t have to obsessively-compulsively consider all possible twists of interpretation in order meet every single possible objection every single person might possibly have about any particular aspect of the invitation or the event in question.
Maybe the friend is tired of the OP and deliberately chose a venue with no palatable options. After all, the friend and her friends don’t like to talk to the OP.
To answer the OP, I don’t think it’s inconsiderate at all. Now, if the situation was altered to where it was a celebration for you (birthday or whatnot) and the majority of people decided to go to a sushi restaurant, then yeah, I’d agree with you.
As someone who often tries to plan brunches and whatnot with a large group of friends, I’ve come to realize that I’m not going to always please everyone, and there are times where I will begrudgingly go to a place that I dislike (or even detest), simply because it is considerate of the other people’s desires. In fact, I would almost go so far as to say that your lack of attending her birthday celebration because it’s at a place that you don’t want to go is inconsiderate.
Now, you’ve given other factors, and frankly, I wouldn’t want to go to a dinner where it was at a place that didn’t offer any food I liked and everyone was being anti-social and playing with their phones for the entirety of the experience. But, like you said, you weren’t asking about whether or not you should attend (and your mind seems fairly made up as to the matter) and there seems to be no point in a pro-sushi / anti-sushi discussion.
I can’t speak for Frank Merton, but I can tell you that in movie theaters in Germany, sweet (sugared, not caramel) popcorn is the default and salty popcorn is the fairly recently added second choice of most.
I don’t eat beef, but if you were my good friend and invited me to help celebrate your birthday, I’d cheerfully go and find *something * on the menu that would work for me. Even if it were just a salad (or rice, which a sushi place is pretty likely to have). I could even just have a few drinks with you because it’s about being together for your birthday. It’s not about me.
Seriously Tellus, if you’re going to piss and moan about not finding anything to eat, don’t go. Don’t ruin this girl’s casual birthday get-together because you wrongly expect her to cater to your weirdness. Good GRIEF.
