Ah, that is the difference. I cannot see that as an invitation. That is trying to coordinate a bunch of people getting together.
What was the last social occasion you attended outside your own home, just as a reference point?
Where’s the Like button?
Salmon sashimi, spicy tuna roll, oysters, udon bowl with vegetables, and yellowtail nigiri for dessert.
BigT, consider if you invited a vegan to a steakhouse, and you included a note saying ‘I wouldn’t want you to feel like you had to eat something you don’t want or that you were being rude if you didn’t eat, so feel free to come for drinks and giggles only.’
Yeah, I could have been more inclusive, but it’s my birthday, no big deal either way.
To piggyback on Helena, looks to me like someone could go there and eat some hash browns, salad, garlic bread, watermelon rind (!), mushrooms, and/or cheesecake, if they didn’t want steak. Point being even a place that’s as aggressively one-note as this steak house has other options on the menu.
The world does not owe you your favorite foods at every meal, every occasion, 100% of the time.
Once I was visiting a friend at their shop and lamented the fact that I was hungry and should probably go down the street and get a sandwich. My friend said, Oh no, I’ll make you something right here! And he whipped up a little plate with some smoked salmon (he’d smoked it himself) and strawberries. Maybe some crackers or something with it too.
At the time I did not care much for either. (Today I’d scarf them, no problem.) But I ate the lunch my friend had prepared, and thanked him for his kindness. And the fact that he made me something to eat meant I could stay put and visit longer.
Yes, I know, this is nothing like a party invitation. But I shake my head sadly at the idea of scorning a social situation just because the food on offer is not to one’s (perceived) liking.
Your friend will not be offended if you just show up for drinks. It’s not a big deal, really.
The original Dreamland location in Tuscaloosa still only serves ribs, white bread, soft drinks and beer. The franchises serve sandwiches, sides, etc.
Oh, next time I’m back visiting my brother we’ll go to the mothership.
I had a big steaming bowl of real pork bone ramen today with rich thick glistening salty broth and melting chunks of meat and it was * good*.
So the consensus is that if you don’t eat sushi you’re not sophisticated and are probably lacking in other ways as well? How is that being open-minded? or even logical?
If you “hate” sushi without ever having tried it, yeah, that pretty odd.
Can you find any poster who has said that if you don’t eat sushi you’re not sophisticated? Just one will do. I beg you to find this poster so that I can join you in rolling my eyes at him/her.
What people are calling out as “unsophisticated” is steadfastly refusing to try something new, and not even something that’s exotic and dangerous, but something that is commonplace and popular. If this isn’t the definition of “unsophisticated”, what the hell is?
Well, now…
That comes pretty close, I’d have to say. Of course that’s just one voice in the wilderness and I agree most folks seem to be annoyed by the refusal to consider to even try it. Which is reasonable enough - never hurts to try something and I get exasperated with those that dig in their heels a bit myself.
But it still seems a little odd to me that people seem this annoyed at the OP ( and just for the record, yeah birthday girl wasn’t being rude or inconsiderate in her invitation under the circumstances ), who didn’t seem all that worked up about any of this and wasn’t really dueling much with other posters. And who now appears to have abandoned the thread as it has turned into an attack on his culinary preferences ;).
I dunno - on the one hand I think it is slightly silly to not even try something at least once. On the other I think it is slightly boorish, to borrow a word, to chew on somebody at length over their slight silliness. We all have ( well, I certainly have ) mildly irrational issues with certain things.
ETA: And I’ll be honest - some of that stuff Andrew Zimmern tries is never getting near my mouth, I don’t care how unadventurous it makes me :D.
We all have our issues, but we don’t let them stand between us and the people we want to be with.
And the reason why people are annoyed is because we all know someone like the OP who thinks the universe should revolve around their unchanging tastes and habits. Why is it so boorish for one to find such people annoying?
I’ve heard one aspect of high functioning autistics is pickiness with food and a hard time with change. Sometimes people who act a little spergy but aren’t actually autistic behave this way because they are just immature.
Tamerlane posted Frank Merton’s reply that spelled out the implication. Seems like some are taking the aversion to a particular food as a sign of being discreditable and unadventurous. For all we know, the OP jumps out of airplanes on the weekend. And if we substitute the word “dung” for “sushi” is the question even about food anymore, or is it more about the offering of such?
Well it isn’t, really. And as I said I fully agree that the OP should suck it up rather than expect a birthday gathering that’s not for him to accommodate his tastes. I mean, I’d expect him to suck it up if he were a vegetarian invited to a steakhouse as well ( or, you know, just don’t go ).
I guess I’m just bemused at the length and seeming vehemence of this thread, around the unwillingness-to-try-sushi issue in particular.
But, eh - de gustibus as it were. I’ve seen even more innocuous-seeming threads explode as well. Never know when something is going to take off as a conversation piece. Try ordering milk at a bar some time :).
I really doubt this. I live in Des Moines and we have an awful lot of sushi options. Well, actually, I live outside Des Moines in the 'burbs, and I have a sushi restaurant closer to my house than a fast food restaurant. Des Moines isn’t very big or very cosmopolitan, and it’s nowhere near the coast, but we have plenty of sushi here. Nearly all the grocery stores carry (not very good) sushi too. Now, sushi restaurants have adopted to local tastes – while traditional choices are widely available, the popular specials tend to be tempura-fried rolls and things with lots of cream cheese in them – so most people don’t have the “sushi is ewww, raw fish!” reaction anymore. Without that, I don’t see why refusing to try sushi is any more local than flatly refusing to try any other restaurant. I find Mexican food (well, the version we get here) is just as samey as sushi restaurants tend to be, in terms of ingredients.
Even around here, someone who refused to even try sushi once, and won’t even discuss it, would probably receive a similar reception as on this board by an awful lot of people around here, at least my age (30s). When we’re talking significantly older, it’s more common to see people who “don’t hold with foreign food”, but it’s generally seen as a bit … well, a bit like people who think Cheesecake Factory is the highest level of cuisine on Earth. You know… goobers, rubes.
I don’t blame anyone for not liking a thing if they’ve given it an honest try. But I get a little skeptical about ‘not liking’ entire swaths of cuisines, and I get really skeptical about people who refuse to try anything at all served at a particular restaurant. Now, any other day, I’ll suck up my skepticism and be cordial, but I get to pick the restaurant one day a year and that’s my birthday dinner. Not sure about how it is where you folks are, but that’s the custom with people I know. I used to be vegetarian so I have definitely had to go along for the ride on restaurants from time to time where I was going to be eating a side salad, but, in my view, the occasional food compromise is the price of good company.
Two weeks ago. Probably more recent than the last time you were able to win an argument without making fun of someone’s mental illness.
Okay, there’s the snark. Now to tear down your post. Why in the world would it matter if I had thrown parties in my own house? I still would have to give out invitations. And why did you ask about the last party I’ve attended when we’re discussing invitations? Your comment only makes sense if you are bringing up my agoraphobia. But I haven’t brought that up the entire time you’ve been a poster here. Long time lurker?
First off, there’s a feature on this board to indicate you are responding to someone. I almost missed your post because you didn’t quote me.
Second, you guys are just as much blowing this guy’s unwillingness to try sushi out of proportion. It really had almost nothing to do with his question. If he’d have been allergic, his question would still have been the same.
Third, I’m only overthinking this as an attempt to explain something that seems perfectly obvious to me. You even explained why. You’re telling the people you are inviting that they are too stupid to know that they need to eat at home if they aren’t going to eat at the party.
By itself, it could just be a slip. But this is someone throwing her own birthday party, who took the time to think about her friends who don’t like sushi, but then is not providing any accommodations for them, yet still expects them to come anyways.
Any one of these things in isolation might be acceptable, but all three together is a red flag, and is why I think the OP is seeing something inconsiderate about it.
Look, I’m just not going to jump on this bandwagon of treating this guy like scum because he doesn’t want to try sushi. I know lots of adults who won’t try new foods. It doesn’t mean anything about their personality. Nothing in the OP makes me think this guy is some giant asshole. This guy asked an etiquette question and explained as best he could why he thought it might be rude. He naively gave more information than necessary, and that became the focus of the thread instead of the actual question.
And I think that, if you take out the sushi aspect, it makes sense why this guy is a bit miffed by what’s going on. My birthday is tomorrow, and I’d never dream of inviting people to a place when I know that some of them will not have anything to eat. I can eat at my favorite restaurant whenever I want to. The reason you throw a party is to be around other happy people. I would always make sure there are accommodations for everyone.
I’d never dream of telling people to eat before they came to a restaurant party.