Incontinence. Ladies, can we talk.

Ladies only. Guys, go amuse yourself elsewhere.


Are they all gone? OK, I am a 42 year old overweight woman who has given birth vaginally to 5 children. When I laugh, cough, or sneeze I involuntarily release a bit of urine. I realize I have almost every one of the risk factors for incontinence, so it’s really no surprise.

I have taken to wearing a maxi pad daily to absorb this and prevent the embarrassment of a wet spot on my pants. I hope I don’t have to get those adult diapers, ick.

Does anyone have experience with this? Do you have any recommendations or suggestions?

Not speaking from experience, but I would see a doctor. There are several medications that can be taken to help with this issue, as well as certain types of exercises (kegels) which can help. There are various surgical techniques which could be looked at eventually as well.

Good luck!

I personally don’t, but I also kegel my ass off … and have done kegels faithfully since I was in my 20s.

Kegel, kegel, kegel. Amazon offers several types. I imagine it’s like any exercise regiment - hard work, boring, but it pays off. And it helps with the sex.

Failing that, it’s time to talk to your obgyn about other possible solutions. It might be that surgery is a better answer. Here’s a link to the article on WebMD.

I understand that the incontinence you are talking about can be helped/treated by the strengthening of the Kegel muscles. I know that you can even buy little barbells to help “work them out”, but in the interest of helping yourself:

When you are peeing, stop the flow of urine. Now you know which muscles to “flex”. Practice flexing them. One way is when you are driving, practice holding them for the duration of the red light, or between lights. As they get stronger, you should notice things improving.

On the other bright side, hubby may notice things getting “tighter” there :slight_smile: and some women have reported that just doing the exercises is arousing.

Yup, Kegels. By the time you can see your bladder, like I can!, you will need surgery. Do not, under any circumstances, jump rope. I warned you! is a medical manufacturer that works in this area.

Or you could, you know, see a local doctor. I’d recommend the head of gyn at UMC, Dr. Hatch. He’s good.

Alice, am I not allowed to make a suggestion? Just trying to help. Did I do something wrong? :frowning:

I just thought it was odd, like a commercial. Some product placement, you got there.

There may be interventions for you beyond just doing your Kegel exercises.

My mother had four kids, and no amount of Kegels ever cured her stress incontinence. She finally saw a urologist about it, and after some testing, her doctor decided she was a good candidate for a bladder sling.

So, find a urologist! Good luck.

“Bladder sling” sounds like a fruity drink or a designer purse. :slight_smile:

It does!

I forgot to add: Mom will have her surgery soon. If you’re interested, I can update you later with more details.

I have this problem sometimes, especially when I sneeze or when I have a serious cough. I have never had kids and am slightly overweight. My sister has had two kids and is very thin and suffers from this much worse than I do–she leaks a little when she walks, and she’s a runner and has some problems then, too. I exercise a lot, but it’s not an issue unless my bladder is really full. My sister had outpatient surgery for it and was very disappointed that it didn’t “take.”

My Mom has had four operations on her bladder. She had 4 children also. She is 70 and she told me that she still leaks. I also heard they had problems with the surgical mesh but I think they changed it. Do some searches on the surgeries and weigh the pro’s and cons. Good Luck!

Well, I’m a 44 year old overweight woman, never given birth, but a cough, sneeze or sudden laugh will do the same to me.

I recall my mother and I believe most of my maternal aunts having the same issue.

I keep forgetting to Kegal like a mother.

Yeah it happens. No advice, sorry. Sucks, don’t it?

What’s even worse is when you’re going through menopause. No amount of Kegels can head off the ever-impending sudden whoosh.

I’ve disobeyed the OPs orders.

My wife has tried a number of Kegel improvers - a TENS based system that she didn’t like, a Kegelmaster and now the Aquaflex Pelvic Cones, which have given the best results so far.

There have been substantial improvements (I will attest to that :wink: ) but things are not perfect. She’s still working on it.


I don’t have personal experience, no, but my mother was incontinent her last years of life, and my husband has incontinence issues due to a long-standing spinal injury.

In the adult diaper aisle they have “incontinence pads” that look quite a bit like maxi pads but are designed specifically for urine. They aren’t adult diapers, just pads. You might want to try those, feedback from mom would indicate they’re better at dealing with urine leaks than maxi pads are. My husband uses the male version. (Yes, there are male and female versions of this due to differences in crotch configurations).

Those should help while you schedule a doctor’s appointment to discuss the issue. (Unless you’ve already been to the doctor) There are many therapies out there for incontinence, but it takes an MD and some face time to work out which, if any, are bets for you.

It is also possible that they won’t work, in which case you’re looking at coping strategies.