The term “white knighting” has gotten to the point where it could probably be used interchangably by either gender. But accusing someone of “white knighting” simply by virtue of liking another poster, or liking what they said, is a bit of a stretch. Since we’re not on Facebook or Reddit, we can’t “like” or “upvote” posts and can only express our approval in a tactful comment.
White knighting would be like when everybody was chewing me out for all these horrible things, and some poster came along, tried to deny/argue everything that was being said and talk about how great I was. But even the people who had a neutral opinion of me or a “You seemed fine until you went off the rails a while ago” had to acknowledge all the hurtful things that were posted by me, and take me to task for them.
And if anything, my unacceptable behavior on the board should be used as a measuring stick for other longtime posters that have had their own share of antics.
A few questions I need answered just to tie up loose ends:
As a lesbian, can I be a white knight?
Who is Monstro’s sister? I got a lot of this white knightin’ in me.
Although I loathe the anti-fat sentiments, I do like the discussions around them. That kind of bigotry is best beaten down by communication and increased familiarity. So let’s not get rid of the Incubuses/douchbags; get rid, rather, of the umkays.
Incubus’ fat-shaming and bullying is not victimless. Real people are affected by the hostile climate to which it contributes, no matter how much money he makes. He deserves no apology and if he has actually learned the error of his ways, that’s great, but does not warrant an all-access hugbox pass.
Plus, that lengthly letter from his “wife” was clearly fake and a desperate and pathetic attempt to get sympathy.
Yeah, the wife post was super fake and obviously so. As soon as people started seriously calling him out for it, he came up with his own apology post to take the heat back off his fake wife. Whatever, I don’t’ really give a shit about anything except how he acts from here forward.
If it was fake, why would he say his wife is actually on the heavy side herself? That doesn’t make sense to me. He basically called himself out as a liar. Even if it is fake, I don’t really care. He seems to understand he was being an ass and wants to change.
[ul]
[li]Probably Incubus pretending to be HMW[/li][li]Probably someone else pretending to be HMW[/li][li]Probably someone else pretending to be Incubus pretending to be HMW[/li][li]Probably Incubus pretending to be someone else pretending to be HMW[/li][li]Probably HMW pretending to be Incubus pretending to be HMW[/li][li]Possibly HMW[/li][/ul]
“Okay, maybe he is a total troll who invented an alternate personality and posted a bunch of bullshit just to fuck with us… but in the post right after that, he seemed really sincere!”
Not sure I can quite follow that logic, but what do I know? I think almost everyone is a troll and I’m only right 99.9% of the time.
Anything that makes you believe that the post is authentic could clearly have been included for that very purpose. This is how con artists work.
He has come to the realization that most people agree that he has come off as an ass, so perhaps will dial back on his expressions of assholery. If you believe that he has truly realized the error of his ways, why? Whether he has a real wife that has outed him as a liar, or he has outed himself as such, he’s still a liar. Liars lie, and when they get caught, they lie more.
Yeah maybe, I guess. But he has been a decent poster for most of the time here. I guess I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he is a liar, oh well. I am here for entertainment and to pass time only. I am not that invested in his moral character.
Lying on the internet has pretty much no consequences.
Neither does generosity of spirit, in my opinion, when someone appears to be making an effort to improve themselves and apologize.
So, since it costs me nothing, I’ll provisionally accept that this is a good-faith effort by Incubus to try and fix himself. It’s possible I’ll be proven wrong, but if so, it will have cost me nothing.
I encourage others to risk nothing and give him the benefit of the doubt, for now, keeping in mind monstro’s excellent caveat in post #228.
Anyone can be a white knight in my opinion. It started out as guys defending women online to get in their good graces, but nowadays it happens for lots of reasons. But just because people like what monstro has to say that doesn’t mean they were white-knighting her. Nor is she necessarily ‘wrong’ for posting wage averages that were far lower than what I actually make. Even the published wages in the paper for county and city employees are deceptive because they include the cash value of all the benefits, which includes health insurance and pension.
I’m glad there is a unit of measure already, and my name is not associated with it.
That is a fair assessment, but it really was her that posted it. Why would that post get me sympathy? It pointed out all the things I had lied about. If anything, it validated the suspicions of many posters here.
By validating their suspicions, you were able to bypass that conflict. The “third-party” assessment of you humanized you in some people’s minds and you got a hugbox pass.
There are no ‘hugbox passes’ here on the SDMB. Everything everybody posts can be searched. It is almost certain the contents of this pit thread will get dredged up over and over through the years. But that just gives me that much more incentive to stand by my apologies. Because the moment I say, suggest, imply, backhandedly weasel-wordedly post any inkling of behavior like my previous behavior, everybody is going to be on it like a ton of bricks. There will be an avalanche of quotes and links to the contents of this thread.
The former user Umkay and her/his antics seemed to change the tone of the board significantly. Perhaps because so many people got fooled; if you pride yourself on your critical thinking skills then it is understandable you would feel embarassed and angry if you get conned like some rube. Some people seem to think that the same thing is happening here. It is not.
Overall the comments in this pitting are very fair and justified. People called me out on being a douchebag, and given the circumstances, I took the smartest approach which was to own up to my actions and apologize. Other people in my situation might have gotten driven off the board, laid low for a while until the dust settled and picked up on the trolling later on, ignore the pit thread entirely and start posting like a normal human being, or done any number of weaselly behaviors we see past and present on the internet. But instead my choice was the most humbling: Admit to lying, admit to being a douchebag, and commit to being a decent human being from here on out. Everyone on the messageboard will hold me accountable, so what incentive to do I have to be insincere?
Incubus, this is an argument you can’t win. Some people are invested in believing you are a troll and still lying, and nothing you say now is going to convince them otherwise.
In this thread, many posters have recommended you worry a little less about how other people see you. Ignoring the accusations of trolling and lying is a great place to start. If you truly have changed, people will see it through your posts, not your arguments about it.
