What TroutMan said. I believe it was your wife who posted, but maybe that’s because I’m supremely gullible. No one has ever accused me of being cynical either. It’s precisely because I don’t really care about other people’s opinion of me, that I have no problem admitting my credulousness. You admitted to being a douche and that’s all that matters.
If you’ve been trolling us all along, then that’s on your conscience. And if your credibility on this board has dropped 60% because of this thread, you have only yourself to blame for that, even if you’re telling the truth about your wife. These consequences seem just to me.
I remain neutral on the issue of whether the post by your wife was legitimate or not, but either way I think it’s strange that you’re giving yourself credit here for being smart and humble enough to admit to lying when this only happened after your wife told us you were lying. You were still defending your previous posting habits, criticizing fat people, and talking about how fit your wife was right up until she posted. So unless that post was actually written by you, then you did the right thing in part because your wife gave you a solid push in that direction and not purely because you’re such a smart and humble guy.
Lamia makes a good point. Incubus pretty much had to be self-effacing and repentant if he ever had a chance of being embraced as a member again. After his “wife” posted, it would’ve been crazy for him to carry on as he had before.
Where are these apologies?
Have you created the impression that you’ve apologized without actually doing so?
To scam free hugbox tokens? Like a weasel?
He apologized to me privately. I’m not going to divulge the “why”, but it seems heartfelt enough. And he also didn’t have to give me one. My beef with him went away when he gave his public apology.
Yes, there’s a high likelihood that it’s all been staged…that we’re being manipulated by a transit bus driver with way too much investment in this place. But I guess I’d rather be the “good guy” in this theatrical production than the “bad guy”. I’m not under any illusion that the rest of ya’ll are who you say you are either. But I’m still able to treat everyone with respect. Respect doesn’t cost that much.
This is how I envision the future: Assuming his come-to-Jesus moment is real, Incubus is going to be on his best behavior for a while. Eventually we will lighten up on him and he’ll just be another poster. Maybe we’ll rag on him about HWM occasionally when he leaves the door open too wide, and if he posts in a fat thread and says something that’s not nice, he might get some shit.
But if this is all fakery, then he will most certainly go back to his old style of posting. And he will be banned because everyone will report him as a troll.
Either way, no one here will have lost anything. But by forgiving him, we give him a chance to be an awesome contributor to the board.
Did he do that in another thread? Because I don’t see an apology from him in this one.
A private apology to anyone is not going to reach the people-in-general who were hurt by his anti-fat bigotry and shaming. Somewhere someone is reading his hateful spew and feeling like garbage.
His first post after the one by his wife does include the word “apologize”:
Although you’re right that he didn’t directly say that he was apologizing, and most of that post was about his dishonesty and bragging – he didn’t even really acknowledge his fat-bashing.
He does not say “I am sorry”, but I took his post (don’t remember the number, sorry) as an apology. Because he describes himself as having felt all the feelings that someone usually feels when they are sorry. I actually appreciated that more than “I am sorry” because it illustrated what those words really mean. But if you want to rake him over the coals for not giving a perfunctory apology, be my guest.
At any given time, there are Dopers hurting the feelngs of someone, somewhere. After you’re done with Incubus, are you going to go after them too? Because that’s a lot of work.
Every time I read one of your posts I realize I’m not nearly as magnanimous, considered or forgiving as I could be. That makes me feel bad about myself. I demand an apology, monstro.
I dont see at all where Monstro has been in any way forgiving or apologetic. She still hasn’t apologized or taken back her calling Incubus a liar due to her ignorance.
Monstro mouths platitudes, but never actually apologizes. She’s just trying to collect hugboxes, whatever the hell they are.
It’s all me me me, isn’t it, QuickSilver? **Monstro **makes us all feel bad, but you think she only need apologize to you. You owe me an apology for your selfish behavior.
I’d think this post was in jest if it weren’t for your other contributions to this thread. Maybe I’m being whooshed, but you do realize that Monstro and the rest of us don’t owe Incubus an apology for calling him a liar, right? He did lie. He was a douchebag. I don’t feel sorry at all for what I said to him earlier. But I’m willing to move past that and let him make up for his past behavior.
Frankly, I’m confused by your contributions to this thread. You jumped in to rehash a debate about salaries that had been addressed five pages earlier, long before the thread took a much more interesting turn. Since then you’ve picked ridiculous arguments with other posters. Open your own pit of Monstro if you’re so butthurt about something she said.
You understandably took his posts as an apology–he admits to behaving poorly and says he feels bad.
I’m not saying he failed to deliver some particular rhetoric. He fails to acknowledge his victims, he fails to identify what he did wrong that hurt others, and he promises to “cut down” on making “abusive statements.” I’m afraid you are reading remorse into what he is saying that simply is not there.
And no, I will not be taking on all that work, but that is very silly logic. I don’t have to stop every instance of animal abuse, racism, violence, etc. to make it worthwhile to stop any particular instance.
But not about his salary. Which still none of you are gonna admit you were wrong. Despite all the platitudes and warms hugs, I notice a distinct lack of “I wuz wrong, I’m sorry” here by anyone but Incubus… the guy who is being accused of being a douchebag. And even there it’s sorta … 'Understated" is a good term."
