Indiana Jews and the Temple of Broomstick

I had some food pantry items for donation and just couldn’t bear going to one of the many church-based pantries around here. I really, really hate the hard-sell proselytizing attempts by so many of them, and I still have a really bad taste in my mouth about the time I went to such a pantry for help and was subjected to a 40 minute harangue about how evil I was and how I needed church and Jesus alternating with pressure to admit to a drug or gambling problem. Um… no, I need a job, lack of employment being my main problem at that point. Anyhow…

Someone (one of the customers at work, actually), told me that the local Jewish Federation had a pantry and would be happy to take my food donations along with things like personal hygiene items and clothing. So I boxed up the stuff and went there.

Silly me - couldn’t initially figure out why the doors were locked and a doorbell and video camera were installed. Not so much white privilege but gentile privilege. Anyhow, I must have looked harmless (I usually do) so I was buzzed in.

The people I met were very warm and welcoming and took the time to speak to me. Also invited me to come hang out with them and partake of the social activities. No conversion required. Just hey, you’re half Jewish, howdy cousin, come and be with us, you don’t have to change to be here.

A bit of contrast to my father’s family, who sat shiva on him when he married a gentile. Although even there the shunning was not universal. Still, they made it very clear we weren’t welcome. In sharp contrast to almost every other Jew I’ve encountered.

Anyhow, the notion of hanging out with these folks is very attractive, not in the least because I need a social life right now, spending too much time alone is very bad for me and while I do know people at work it’s not the same as an outside-of-work friendship. My work schedule does interfere somewhat, but it’s not insurmountable. I still have this nagging feeling of being there under false pretenses - which I assume is some leftover crap from my father’s family. I did tell them, after all, I was ethnically and not religiously Jewish.

Not entirely sure why I’m talking about this. Not entirely sure why I feel so divided about this. Part, I’m sure, is the fear of moving on after my husband’s death. Getting on with the rest of my life feels daunting at times. I know it’s impossible but I still keep wanting to turn back time to when I had my spouse beside me, moving on is yet again acknowledging he’s gone for good.

They sound like just the kind of people to help you ease back into a wider social life.

At first I misread this as “set shiva on him” and thought, “wow, they don’t mess around.”

Widow parlance is baby steps. Do what feels right to you at the time.

If the alternative is hanging out with us, then hell yeah, hang out with real people instead. They sound nice.

Good for you! I think I understand why you feel conflicted, but this sounds like it could be a good thing for you. You can still hang out with us,too of course.

Something I learned about very early in life, forgot about when I was a rude, righteous atheist young adult, and relearned as I’ve gotten older and wiser: attendance at a religious gathering is not necessarily so much about religion as it is about community.

My father has never been a religious man, but he regularly attended the local Chinese church when he came to DC from Philadelphia because that’s where he could find a community where he felt like he belonged. He met my mother there. My mother’s entire extended family went there. There was a religious service every Sunday, but in all the time I spent there as a kid I never once overheard any conversation even remotely about religion outside of the nave and sanctuary, and I suspect this is true of a lot of churches, synagogues, temples, mosques, or whatever.

I wouldn’t feel bad or guilty at all about not being into the religious part of it if they don’t have a problem with that.

Man, I’d pay to hear a band called Broomstick and the Jews of Indiana.

Broomstick, I wish you luck in figuring out what works for you. I’m struggling similarly, three years out from the death of my partner. I’d certainly like to have more human contact, but by nature I’m not a very social person, and being in large groups intimidates me.
My job gives me some level of regular human interaction (I’ve been here over 25 years, so there’s a comfort level there).
Thank goodness for my stepdaughters and a couple of old friends who keep me from getting too lonely and depressed.

We’ve been to a food pantry a couple of times (church) and they have never preached to us.

I cashier in a store owned by Hassidic Jewish people in a town that has a large Jewish population, I have found most of them to be extremely friendly and very tolerant. They have never tried to convert me or put me down for my pagan beliefs.

The Jews of Indiana

Write that book!

You were honest and they still wanted to have you join them so you’re not there under false pretenses, even though I understand it feels like it.

Someone already mentioned it, but I read somewhere that religion is so popular here because of the communal aspect. Maybe just respecting the beliefs is enough. I hope you’ll go at least a few more times before you decide against it.

That’s nice. I’m happy for you.

That was not my experience.

Actually, I think it’s a new Harrison Ford movie.

As a Jew of New Jersey I welcome you :slight_smile:

^ And this is what I mean, if you’re friendly to Jews they tend to be friendly back at you.

Just like any other people. Imagine that.

Like most other people, but not every other people.

Hi Broomstick. You’ve mentioned your Jewish background from time to time here. Yet from your OP, it sounds like this is the first time you’re connecting up with any part of your local Jewish community? I guess I’m a bit surprised at that.

Jews will never try to convert you. I’m talking about JEWS (Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, Orthodox, Hasidic), not “Messianic Jews,” who are actually Christians (mostly Southern Baptists). Jews also don’t much care what you believe. They REALLY don’t care if you convert and traditionally, they actively discourage it. Seriously. If you do want to convert (like I did) tradition holds that you have to ask and be turned down by a rabbi three times. It’s not because they consider it an exclusive club or anything; it’s because they don’t believe they have anything that you need. Unlike Christians, whose official belief is that you need to accept Jesus as your Savior in order to get into heaven. Jews don’t have any beliefs like that. So hang out with them all you want.