Indiana Jews and the Temple of Broomstick

[Voyager]

@Green_Bean

PURPLE horseradish? That stuff is suitable only for toddlers. Fresh-grated white horseradish is the only way to go. Maximum sinus effect. Excellent stuff.

Why am I suddenly craving a Hillel sandwich?

I’m usually stuck with white horseradish in the goyisher Bay Area, but purple is the only way to go. Spicy food is great, but you don’t add jalapenos to your brisket.
Oy.

[dropzone]

Please, do.

[Broomstick]

@dropzone

Raw or white horseradish, right? Even wasabi (proper horseradish turned green) is wimpy.

The first time I tried sushi everyone was warning me about the wasabi, about how strong it was, etc.

::: pffffft!::: Not impressed.

[Broomstick]

@Senegoid

Have you ever been to a Passover Seder?

Yes. We used to have family ones when I was a child.

Did not go to the synagogue ones - by the time I came along my parents were no longer practicing Judaism, even if we were still marking some of the holidays.

[Gyrate]

@Tastes_of_Chocolate

Actually, I think it’s a new Harrison Ford movie.

I know! If this weren’t such a serious and personal topic I’d petition a mod to change the title to Indiana Jews and the Temple of Broomstick.

@Guinastasia

Where do you people live that you get all these pushy-Christians around? I swear I never encounter anything more aggressive than your average, “God bless you” or something like that. I think I’ve seen ONE track in my lifetime, in a Kmart bathroom.

Lucky you. I see them far more in the South and Midwest than in New England but I’ve been approached in airports, restaurants and shopping malls by well-meaning (and almost all elderly) people wanting to be sure that I’d heard of this “Jesus” guy who is apparently all the rage these days. I usually give them a non-specific answer that allows them to think I agree with them without actually saying so, and they wander off satisfied.

And while I haven’t been handed a tract, I’ve seen plenty left lying around.

@Okrahoma

I doubt that what expected you in the van was “hardcore proselytizing”. You probably encountered one of the “Mitzva Tanks” and what awaited you inside at most was putting on a tefillin.

I’m not a teenage girl but were I one, my main worry about strange men inviting me to step into their van would not be “hardcore proselytizing”.

[Broomstick]

@Gyrate

I know! If this weren’t such a serious and personal topic I’d petition a mod to change the title to Indiana Jews and the Temple of Broomstick.

I’m totally OK with that, actually… go ahead and ask 'em.

[Okrahoma]

@Senegoid

I don’t know how this plays elsewhere, but in American English transliterations of Hebrew, words ending with ת are commonly both written and pronounced with either -t or -s at the end, interchangeably.

It’s the difference between Ashkenazi and Sephardic Hebrew. -s is Ashkenazi, -t is Sephardic. Sephardic Hebrew pronunciation is the one that is adopted in Israel, so the “-s” endings are mostly left with Yiddish speakers and are dying out.

[Annie-Xmas]

Oh, those pushy Christians. We get them all, especially the Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormons. Everyone who doesn’t believe in Jesus Christ as their savior is going straight to hell. I’ll take a tolerant Jewish person any day.

One day there was a young woman on line and two young women behind her. One of the two asked the single woman “Are you Jewish?” When she said “Yes,” the woman said “Why aren’t you wearing a scarf on your head?” The second woman curled up in embarrassment and said “Don’t ask questions like that.” The first one said “If I don’t ask, how am I going to find out?” The Jewish woman said “I don’t mind the question. We only wear the head scarf after we get married, and I’m single.” The questioner said “So guys know you’re available” and everybody laughed.

[ThelmaLou]

@Green_Bean

…
Why am I suddenly craving a Hillel sandwich?

Hehe. By the time you get to the Hillel sandwich you’re so hungry from the smell of brisket wafting through the room (and you know it’s not quite time yet…) that you convince yourself plain crackers, chopped apples, and horseradish is FOOD! Sometimes I have two of them.

[jayjay]

@Senegoid

Broomstick, ya gotta get ahold of this album, first published in 1965, later re-published on CD: “You Don’t Have To Be Jewish”, a collection of Jewish-themed jokes and skits.

Ah, the classics! “A Call From Long Island”, “The Ballad of Irving” (which may have been in the sequel album, When You’re In Love The Whole World Is Jewish), “The Agony and the Ecstasy”…Dr. Demento played a lot of these.

[Knowed_Out]

I sometimes read Judaism 101 when I don’t get a Jewish joke, and this passage under “Jewish Attitudes Toward Non-Jews” brought home to me how they manage to keep a sense of humor in the face of adversity.

Contrary to popular belief, Judaism does not maintain that Jews are better than other people. Although we refer to ourselves as G-d’s chosen people, we do not believe that G-d chose the Jews because of any inherent superiority. According to the Talmud (Avodah Zarah 2b), G-d offered the Torah to all the nations of the earth, and the Jews were the only ones who accepted it. The story goes on to say that the Jews were offered the Torah last, and accepted it only because G-d held a mountain over their heads! (In Ex. 19:17, the words generally translated as “at the foot of the mountain” literally mean “underneath the mountain”!) Another traditional story suggests that G-d chose the Jewish nation because they were the lowliest of nations, and their success would be attributed to G-d’s might rather than their own ability. Clearly, these are not the ideas of a people who think they are better than other nations.

[purplehearingaid]

@Green_Bean

If you are surrounded by orthodox Jews all the time, how do you not know that they NEVER would try to convert you. You make it sound like that’s even a possibility.

Agreed! You may be a halvsie, but you’re still a member of the Tribe. Go and enjoy!

Seconded!
Wrong. Jews don’t think the fact that you don’t share our faith is a problem at all. Don’t apply your goyish assumptions to us, boychik.

^^ This ! I am Jewish and agree with you !

[Senegoid]

@jayjay

Ah, the classics! “A Call From Long Island”, “The Ballad of Irving” (which may have been in the sequel album, When You’re In Love The Whole World Is Jewish), “The Agony and the Ecstasy”…Dr. Demento played a lot of these.

A Call From Long Island: Topic for discussion, for those who know & remember this story: (Myself included, if this is actually the story I’m remembering it is :rolleyes: ):

What do you think happened next (after the final line of the story)? Did she come over to help after all, or not?

(Listen at one or more of these places:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8S6eGYnG8nM
God's Jukebox )

This is like those essays we all had to write in High School English where you argue whether it was the lady or the tiger behind the door.)

[Green_Bean]

@Voyager

I’m usually stuck with white horseradish in the goyisher Bay Area, but purple is the only way to go. Spicy food is great, but you don’t add jalapenos to your brisket.
Oy.

Dude. The beets that make it purple also reduce the sinus effect. The only acceptable means of making horseradish more mild is to use less of it.

[dropzone]

@Broomstick

The first time I tried sushi everyone was warning me about the wasabi, about how strong it was, etc.

::: pffffft!::: Not impressed.

I mean, duh? Have they never been around freshly-grated hossradish? Neither have I. I’m not stupid, though the town to the west used to have a horseradish processing plant. The town to the east had the Ovaltine factory. It was nasty to jog past while on a 1200 cal diet.

@Gyrate

Lucky you. I see them far more in the South and Midwest than in New England but I’ve been approached in airports, restaurants and shopping malls by well-meaning (and almost all elderly) people wanting to be sure that I’d heard of this “Jesus” guy who is apparently all the rage these days. I usually give them a non-specific answer that allows them to think I agree with them without actually saying so, and they wander off satisfied.

My parish has adopted the strategy of hiring a hip, handsome, and young pastor. We have tons of kids for the Cherub Choir. Other local parishes have nearly all of their congregants on Medicare. This is good marketing in action, though I don’t know how many times he’s been arrested at a protest. His predecessor would warn his one-call lawyer the night before.

[DPRK]

@Okrahoma

It’s the difference between Ashkenazi and Sephardic Hebrew. -s is Ashkenazi, -t is Sephardic. Sephardic Hebrew pronunciation is the one that is adopted in Israel, so the “-s” endings are mostly left with Yiddish speakers and are dying out.

תּ = t
ת = th (as in thing)

A lot of Israelis do not pronounce th (from their point of view it is a difficult foreign sound; cf. ד = th as in father), but it’s not just an issue with Hebrew—th is actually a really really rare consonant; English happens to be one of the few languages that retain it.

[Guinastasia]

Never had gelfite fish – I do like me some latkes, though. (My uncle used to eat them with maple syrup, like regular pancakes. gag)

@Senegoid

They’re all on-line, don’tcha know?

My all-time favorite is one of the oldies that I first saw circa 1970,
“The Mad Machine”.

Yeah, but that’s not the same.

[rowrrbazzle]

David Steinberg talks about Moses.

Moses - YouTube

[rowrrbazzle]

Oh, heck, start at this track, then go back to track 1 if you want. Sermon Introduction - YouTube

[Idle_Thoughts]

Edited the title as asked.