So Spielberg, Lucas, and Ford have finally given the go-ahead, and it will be out in May 2008.
“Indiana Jones and the Comfy Chair” jokes start at this line.
I think “Rocky Balboa” made this sadly possible. Yet another reason why that movie should have been nipped in the bud.
SCENE OPENS: LIVING ROOM INTERIOR.
INDY IS SITTING IN AN OVERSTUFFED CHAIR WEARING HIS LEATHER COAT THE SOUND OF CHILDREN PLAYING IS COMING FROM OFF SCREEN. INDY STRUGGLES TO GET OUT OF HIS CHAIR. INDY GRABS A WELL WORN BULL WHIP WALKS STIFFLY TO THE FRONT DOOR. PULLING IT OPEN HE RAISES HIS WHIP, SHAKES IT OVER HIS HEAD AND YELLS
“Hey you kids get off my lawn!”
SCENE FADES
“Indiana Jones and the… Sorry, what was I talking about?”
Raiders of the Lost Keys.
“I have sent for you, Jones, because the world’s supply of Geritol is alarmingly low.”
I bet he wishes he had kept that Grail.
Yep - officially announced that Lucas and Spielberg have agreed on the new script, and Harrison Ford (aged 64) will star in the film. MSNBC Link.
I think Lucas and Spielberg are no fools, and if they think they can do it, they can. And Harrison Ford isn’t exactly ancient, but let the jokes begin.
Potential titles and storyline?
“Indiana Jones: I’ve Fallen But I Can Get Up!”
Indian Jones is sent to an ancient archaeological dig, in Sun City, Arizona, and meets up with a Nazi on a nuclear powered scooter who has the key to the Fountain Of Youth hidden in his colostomy bag. In a legendary 45 minute, 13 MPH chase through Scottsdale, Indiana Jones flies over 3 foot drops in his scooter to capture the secret formula and discovers a 20 year old Hitler who is the lead singer in an all black hip-hop group and intending to incite terror with his new LP, not realizing nobody knows what an LP is anymore. Oh, and at one point, a garter snake crawls onto the scooter, forcing Indiana to quickly stop at an IHOP for the early bird special and starts a relationship with Thelma, the feisty waitress with a sordid past.
I wish I could laugh at any of these jokes, but the fact that they’re making yet another (and certain to be inferior even compared to Temple of Doom) movie makes me very, very sad. I just broke down the other day and bought the box set of the Trilogy, even though all I wanted was Raiders (which is on my Top 5 Island Movies list). Money-grubbing bastiches, all of 'em.
Stranger
The classic early comfy chair thread:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=124045&page
I think the movie will be titled:
Indiana Jones and the wheelchair of Atlantis.
I came in to say that Sean Connery must have been at least that old when The Last Crusade was filmed, but a quick IMDB search shows I’m mistaken. He was closing in on 60. Regardless, I think Harrison Ford has still got it. I’m stoked.
Indiana Jones and the Temple Beth Shalom Senior Mixer
Boy, I remember when I could have invested a lot more confidence in this assessment.
As it stands, I am cynical enough to entertain the suspicion that this time around Indy will be accompanied by a wisecracking, Dawson’s Creek-looking protege, upon whom Lucas et al. will attempt to graft an extended movie franchise.
A great title with a so-so YouTube video- Indiana Jones and the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
This has just induced a “I can’t breathe and tears are streaming down my face” laughing fit - thank you Dmark.
Important distinction that allowed me to accept Rocky at 60 but not Indiana at 65:
The Rocky movies have always been, more or less, contemporary. Released in 1976, Rocky took place in 1976 with a 30yr old Stallone playing a 30yr old Rocky (Rocky’s age is indicated in dialog in the film). Released in 2006, Rocky Balboa takes place in 2006 with a 60yr old Stallone playing a 60yr old Rocky.
I can accept that Rocky is in such good shape at the age of 60, because it is the year 2006. In 2006, 60 isn’t that old. Many 60yr olds are in really great shape, particularly those whose financial situation allows them leisure time to avoid stress and keep a regular exercise routine. 60yr old athletes who exercise and eat well can be in wonderful shape in the year 2006.
Indiana Jones, on the other hand, was probably born about 1890. He’s in his 40s in the 1930s, so a 65yr old Indiana Jones story would take place about 1955. In 1955, 65yr olds were not in great shape, in 1955, 65yr olds were old! Really old!!!
If the film takes place in the 40s, with a 65yr old Harrison Ford playing a 55yr old Indiana Jones, then we might get a good story out of that. If they place the story any later than 1950, then nope, sorry, no.
Indiana Jones was born in 1899.
Maybe they’ll stick in a scene of him reminiscing about his earliest memory of his dad joyfully informing him about that queer Wilde finally getting what was coming to him, and how it proved those Brits weren’t a bunch of unrepentent sodomites after all.
Thanks for the info. That means Harrison Ford in his 40s was playing Indiana Jones in his 30s.
Definitely think we need to get Indiana Jones at about 55. I wouldn’t buy Harrison Ford as anything less than 55yrs old, but I wouldn’t buy Indiana Jones at anything older than 55yrs old (considering the crazy antics he’s bound to get up to!).
Bear in mind, though, Indy’s dad was a medieval scholar, so he would be well aware it proved no such thing.
I think we all know what “courtly love” was a euphemism for. The English were practically French in this regard.