So I posted an ad on craigslist. Not a casual encounters ad - a regular Man Seeking Woman ad. I’ve run it a couple times in the past, and I get a lot of responses from it. (It’s a good ad.)
One response I got was very intriguing, and she seems like an interesting person. We’ve e-mailed a few times back and forth. She seems to be a very busy person, so her responses have quite a bit of delay. I don’t want to be nosy or pry or seem anxious (though I am a little - she’s a cute girl!). But we’re both on gmail, and since we’ve e-mailed a few times, she appears in my chat list when she’s active. Is it obtrusive to send a quick, “Hi, did you have any shows this weekend?” (she’s a musician)?
Not to completely subvert your poll or anything – but I’d recommend asking if she’d like to chat on IM at some point. Not everyone does, and even those who do may have times that are more or less convenient.
That’s pretty much my dilemma. Some people really dislike IM (which is fine), and she may not be aware of the gchat window (doubtful). I also don’t want to initiate chat, have her not respond, then have to awkwardly bring it up via e-mail.
The odds of us meeting for drinks are becoming increasingly unlikely, but I’ll hold out hope for a redheaded Irish music playing violinist.
I voted yes and believe you are overthinking the situation and turning yourself into a doormat.
Just a quick “Hey you, whatcha up to?” will suffice. If she’s busy with important e-mail stuffs she’ll ignore you (which won’t be different if you hadn’t said anything, since you wouldn’t be talking anyways) or she’ll respond and you can chat with her actually instead of playing the fucking annoying game of e-mail tag.
I like** twickster**'s advice. Not only is it generally sound advice, but Munch seems like the type who might take it poorly if she does ignore him or brush him off because it’s a bad time. Plus, I’ve never used gmail but I don’t think I’d like it if anybody could chat with me just because they have my e-mail address.
But yeah, I didn’t mean to imply twickster’s advice was not good, when is a moderator’s advice ever bad? I do still believe he is overthinking the situation.
Yeah, this is not a Big Decision. This is an uber-casual social interaction. I’ll add another vote for “just ask her out, already”. I mean, there’s no point in wasting time here, you’re presumably not looking for online friends who may or may not be chat-friendly.
“Hi there! Had any shows since Irish Fest?”
“Yes, last week.”
Okay… I thought that was a decent chance to talk about yourself. Guess not…
“where at? do you guys have a “regular spot” or anything like that?”
“We play in <local town> a lot”
C’mon, you can’t tell me you’re a musician and then shy away from gig-related questions like that! Anyway, this went well:
“Hey - I have a meeting in about 3 minutes. But since I actually have you online, would you be interested in a drink some time next week? Anything but Thursday would work for me.”
“ok, i’ll check my schedule for next week”
We’re all set for next Thursday. Her life seems to be extremely busy, which was her explanation for being unresponsive. She seemed pretty excited on chat today. Thanks for the push, all. I don’t know why I was hesitating on this one - I have a number of other dates lined up from that personal ad that I had no qualms about setting up/initiating.
