Instantly, I know the date will be a disaster when...

#1) I go to Date’s place to pick Date up. I was listening to the radio, but after starting the car, I switch to the tape player, not remembering that I had a cassette of the Mikado starring the magnficient John Reed as Koko. As Yum-Yum starts singing, Date says in a ‘change the station’ voice “You listen to this shi-stuff? Do you like Marilyn Manson?”

more importantly, however

#2) I’m being set up by a mutual friend. Friend drags Set-up over to my house (“Just passing by…thought we’d stop in…” Liar.) Set-up sees your basement lined with thousands of books. Set-up says in an ‘eeeewwwww’ sort of voice that implies Set-up hasn’t read a book since High School: “Lookit alla these books! You di’n’t readem all, didya? So waddaya do wit’ alla books?”

Since your friend is there, you refrain from telling the other use you put a book to in the dreaded “New Mexico Reststop” adventure.

Seriously, call me a snob, but people’s reaction to books is a damned good indicator for me of whether or not they’re someone I want to spend time with. Showing a dislike or contempt for reading is 2 1/2 strikes in my book.

Anyone else have other ways to know that the date’s over before it begins?


I know what you mean, Fen. Books over guys (or, hell, girls) any day. Perhaps it’s that attitude that has cost me? Maybe that’s why my romantic life is zilch? Ah well…:o

Fenris, if I wasn’t married…

I just got the 2-volume D’Oyly Carte Mikado CD set from Amazon the other day (Thanks for the gift certificate, DRY). And I LOVE books…


Illiteracy is a dangerous sign; near-pride about illiteracy is a 100% deadly sign. Haven’t run into that problem, knock on wood.

I always thought it was a bad sign when you pick up your date at 7pm and she mentions she’s got another date that evening at 10, so she’ll need to be back with time to spare.

On two occasions I’ve also had dates show up at the meeting place with another guy in tow.

Yep, that book learnin’ thing sure is awful, huh?

I think that when your date asks if it’s OK to stop at the drugstore so she can pick up her penicillin, there might be a problem.

(OK, so that didn’t really happen.)

TroubleAgain, you are of course, very welcome.

The worst part is that she is talking about your cook books!

Lubs Ya!

Met date at Ratsie’s (College days). Pretty much her first words that evening were, “I just praise God that I had the opportunity to meet someone.”

I couldn’t just leave lest she had a closer connection with God than I (quite likely) and had him send a lightning bolt my way.

Sure signs of a bad date:
He honks instead of coming to the door
He talks non-stop about how important he is and how much money he makes
When I let my sarcastic nature show and I get that what the hell have I got myself into look
Five minutes into dinner and I hear how his childhood was so screwed up and life sucks…I’ve known you what, three hours, and you want to drop your baggage at my feet. Give me a brake.
No emotional vampires need apply, I don’t want to hear about your ex, and don’t ask me about birth control on the first date.

When she turns up with her mum.


ha ha.

very funny. Laugh it off.

I couldn’t believe it.

The date didn’t last long (about an hour and then i ‘had to go’)

When there is no eye contact. This is a sure sign that this date is over before it started.

Originally posted by Tabeitha

He talks non-stop about how important he is and how much money he makes

Now, I never talk about myself on dates, (i know it’s a rare thing these days, but hey, I’d rather find out about her - and I actually listen!) but a sure sign that this date is over, is when your date doesn’t ask any questions about you! I’m not sure if it’s a lack of conversational skills or a general rudeness, but if you’re not interested enough to find out a little somthin’ somthin’ about me, then why did you agree to go out with me?!!

When he kept calling me by his ex-girlfriend’s name. Yes, this happened. It got ugly.

  1. Starts smoking.

  2. Suggests a fun evening would be to go get bombed at some Dollar a Drink night.

  3. Says he’s a charter member of the NRA, reads the National Review, and voted for Pat Buchanan in 1992.

  4. Says he doesn’t like animals and would never let one live in his house.

  5. Says he likes animals but he believes they should be remain outdoors all the time because “that’s where they belong; furthermore, neutering and shots are a waste of money.”

  6. Wants to thank the Lord for whatever and invites me to join him.

  7. Plus your book and music no-no’s, Fenris.

B_P I don’t think you understood what I was saying. I love talking to people and hearing about their lives, but I want to know what you dream about, what your passions are, your character, and your desires. I have a job, I’m not in the market for a sugar daddy so don’t waste my night trying to impress me with the dollar signs. Here in DC I hear a lot of “Hi I’m so and so, I make so much a year, I drive a brand new whatever, just bought a house, so you wanna take me home now” NO, and if you ask me what kind of car I drive that’s also a big turn off.

Fenris, why on earth did you allow yourself to be set up by someone who clearly doesn’t know you? My friends would never dream of attempting to set me up with an illiterate goober like that, because they know better.

Tabeitha, actually, I think we’re on the same page - perhaps I didn’t make myself clear though. I’ll try to explain…

I live in LA - the undisputed capital of the shallow “trying hard to impress” guy. I am a pilgrim in an unholy land here in LA. I think I throw women off when I don’t brag about things I have or how important I am (for the record, I don’t have much and I’m not important). I, like you, love to talk and try to learn about my date. The point of my OP was that I have been on dates with girls, and sure, they talked - but they seemed to have no interest in learning about me. I don’t like to talk about myself because I am a humble guy and I’m not the bragging type - but I’ll be more than happy to answer questions my date may have about me. Isn’t that why you date? To get to know the other person? But when your date acts as if she couldn’t care less about me and asks ZERO questions, well, that’s a good sign that this date is o.v.e.r.!

So, when you wrote what you wrote, it just reminded me of how I DON’T act on a date and about how a date once acted with me. Different, but the same.

I didn’t allow it, really. That’s why she had to hunt me down at my house. I’d been avoiding her.

The person (a friend, but not a close one) who was doing the setup is one of those “People MUST be partnered. I’ll throw all my single friends together and we’ll see if any of 'em stick.” types. She means well, but seems to be of the opinion that being with ANYONE is better than being with no-one. Also, she said that she thought we’d get along because we both like ‘sci-fi’ (Alf and Star Trek for her, Asmiov through Zelazny for me)

I had strong words with her after the Set-Up incident. It won’t be happening again. (I was less upset by her choice of dates than I was at the fact that she just ‘dropped in’.)


Back in my younger days, when I was a heavy sleeper and didn’t lock my bedroom door, I woke up one morning with a stranger in my bedroom. I had knocked my alarm clock off my table and I heard a voice say “Hey, you dropped your clock. Can I come lay with you?” At the sound of that voice, I bolted upright and ran screaming into my roommate’s bedroom. It turned out that she’d brought some friends over after I’d gone to bed the night before. One of them had come into my bedroom and fallen asleep on the floor.

For months afterward, the guy would call me and invite me out. He’d even get friends to call and tell me what a wonderful guy he was. That was a date that would NEVER happen. The date was a disaster and over before the invitation was ever given.

When he says “You know, you really should start running marathons.”

When he brings his HAM RADIO on the date! Yes, his ham radio, and then ignores you for it.

A ham radio? Sheesh! Most hams know enough to leave it at home (the first date or so, anyway).

Well, it wasn’t instant, but this date fizzled pretty quick (once it got started, anyway).