Intimate advice

I vote he invites us all. I mean, isn’t it rude to come here and tell us about the party and not invite us?

Correct, Startrekker.

I feel he should have just been honest and said, “Honey, I want a three-some with another girl. I don’t want another guy.”
If she said cool, great! More power to 'em.

I know I would never share my woman with another guy. I know of no man in his right mind and in love who would.

Yup, Trekker. I wanna see if he’ll “eat” his words.

Another vote for a dude.

My ex and I had a threesome with a friend of mine that she had a major crush on. She initiated the entire thing when he was visiting one afternoon–maybe they cooked it up before hand. The aftermath of this was that my friendship with my friend was strained. My ex went from being proud and happy about it to claiming I made her do it to denying it ever happened at all.

My advice: Don’t do it.

You’re all a bunch of cynics. I know of lots of people who are young and in love and fine with sharing their partners. Some are men who have or currently are sharing a female with another male. Besides, this was just talking about a threesome, it sounded like a one time thing. Anyhow, if you’re both sure that you’re comfortable with it, and fine with a male or a female, then my vote is for a male. Just personal bias on my part. Have fun.


I saw that lucisious (spelling??) tiger you have yourself. I am honoured to be invited. Tigeress, do you feel dirty? I know a great way to clean you up.


Rift, why don’t the two of you just met us.

Yup…I’m with you Ayesha.

2 people are just enough when it comes to sex. 3’s a crowd and 4…well, I found that it turned into a race to see who could make who cum first.

This was with very good people too…life long friends and all that.

But…if yer gonna do it anyways…add an extra female.

My advice is don’t do it! As intriguing and fun as it may sound, I have known numerous couples who have done it and it destroyed their relationship. Besides… if your so bored with your sex life with your partner that you need to bring others in to spice it up… maybe you should be considering why…
this isn’t even bringing up jealousies and diseases…
The couples I knew thought about it for a long time. Discussed all the ramifications… it ended up being the end of them. One couple brought in a girl. THe guy liked her so much better he was doing the other girl on the side after that without his girlfriends knowledge. The other three couples couldn’t deal with the feelings of jealousy and stupidity they had afterwards…
Something to think about…

Side thought…

How come when a couple brings in another woman it is naturally assumed the two women need/want to get it on? But with two men they don’t talk, don’t look at each other and if they even so much as touched it would be this huge homosexual taboo thing?
I’m assuming here that if another woman was brought in it would be more for his pleasure than hers… so why the natural assumption that the women would get together? IF, and this is a HUGE if here cuz it would never happen… but IF I brought in another woman and she so much as touched me she would be scraping what is left of herself off the rug…
What I’m getting at here is why do people assume that women are almost naturally bisexual?
Any thoughts?

I’ll refrain from making the obvious “heads or tails” comment.

Ummm, I’d have to agree with the others that this is something to handle very carefully. It can cause HUGE strains on relationships. Talk. A LOT. Continuously and honestly. Check out some of the polyamory websites for clues. ( , ) Really. Don’t just assume that everything will be / is cool - that’s a grand way to head straight for trouble.

Having said that, it can be great fun either way. Depends on your personal preferences and comfort zones. Pick someone you’re BOTH interested in and comfortable with.

If she’s bi-curious, a female could give her the chance to explore that area. (Make sure that BOTH females are interested in that, first!! No fair pushing for it!!!) For practicality, one woman can do more for two guys than one guy can for two women. Trust me. :wink: With rare exceptions. ;):wink: And maybe that could give you a chance to explore, too??? :smiley:

Most important, if ANYONE becomes uncomfortable - STOP IMMEDIATELY. Agree ahead of time that ANY ONE can call quits AT ANY TIME without any explanation and with no blame or recriminations - and then STICK TO THAT AGREEMENT. This can do more to save a situation gone bad than anything else I know of.

Always pace to the least-comfortable person - if they’re not happy, then no one’s gonna end up happy. It can take a long time, but if it’s going to work out, that’s the only way it will happen.

I know people who have open relationships and handle it quite well - I won’t say they have no problems, but what relationship doesn’t? I also know people that have tried it and couldn’t handle it. Because they were honest about that and worked through it, their relationship came out stronger (and monogamous) in the end. I don’t personally know anyone who’s screwed up their relationship over this, but it probably happens fairly often.

Be careful! And have fun!!

GreenEyes -

In poly circles, it’s know as the “Hot Bi Babe” phenomonenon.

Part of it’s cultural, in that it’s much more acceptable in our society for women to touch & show affection & such than for men. Men get much more grief over being ‘sissy’ than women do for being ‘tomboy’. (Don’t get me started on why THAT is!!)

Part of it is a guy thing. Guys just love that fantasy. Check out the large numbers of porn flicks based on that theme (and not much else). I think it’s based on the idea of 'they’re not really lesbian, they’re just waiting for ME!!! :smiley:

All IMO, of course. :slight_smile:

P.S. Say hi to SingleDad for me, wouldja? I got really depressed the other day when I ran across the troll posting & got all happy because I thought he was back, only to have my hopes crushed. :frowning: Miss his posts.

Chief Scott, my respect for Naval intelligence rises every time I see one of your posts.

I second the motion. Rift, what’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. If you’re gonna share, you gotta play nice about it. <<Evil grin.>>*


*Out of respect for ChiefScott, I didn’t use a smiley. This time.

Guy. Let her have her fun first.

. . . but don’t start off with humans. Do you have a dog? Slather yourselves with peanut butter and see what happens.

P.S. Dog, yes. A cat would be a bad idea.

You’ve never talked to a man before, have you…

Yer pal,

Two months, four weeks, one day, 19 hours, 37 minutes and 26 seconds.
3632 cigarettes not smoked, saving $454.09.
Life saved: 1 week, 5 days, 14 hours, 40 minutes.

Thats the first time Ive seen the question posted in the signature instead of in the message.

Why are you asking us?

Either ChiefScott is trying to taint the ballot or there are a few sexuality issues arising.

The only way to figure this out is toss

quick chief … call heads or tails …

(or ask the dopers!)

I’m a bit disappointed to see how quickly some people have rushed to make assumptions during this thread.

Assumptions to date:

they haven’t thought this through
they’re uncomfortable with the notion of same-sex contact
that there has to BE same-sex contact
that it’s all for the benefit of Rift
that it will doom the relationship (IMHO only a lack of honesty will do that - whether this is honest or not is not only another topic but not one for here)
Actually no, it’s not the fact that the assumptions were made: it’s the fact that you’ve embraced them as fact so enthusiastically.

The man asked a simple question. Was it our place to speculate based on maybes and possibilities from alternate dimensions?

dpr: cranky on Sunday mornings

I tossed a coin, and it came up ‘male’…

Two make a good couple and three make a crowd. Why don’t you two opt for a different setting, role playing or fantasy type things instead?

One or the both of you will regret the decision and your relationship may suffer.

Just had to say this…