Long time (read: since before you had to pay to be on here) lurker, I finally decided to join up…maybe. I thought I would introduce myself and say “Hi!”.
I come to the SDMB for my daily dose of intelligence that can simply not be found elsewhere on the web. I read the boards daily and am always thrilled to see intelligent, well-written posts (and the occasional drunken, but still worth the read ones, too) over here.
I don’t squee over cats, dogs or kids – usually. I like to read (favorite genre is fantasy, but I also love the classics and sci-fi), don’t watch tv (unless the Simpsons and Futurama counts as tv), play the heck out some Runescape, listen to a lot of music (going to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers tonight in fact), and pretty much spend all but maybe 2 hours of my waking time on the computer between work and home. I have two (totally awesome) kids, 1 really pimp 5lb chihuahua, and 2 outdoor cats (they’re definitely not squee-worthy, trust me), oh yeh and a husband. I think that makes me female – that’s what my doctor said when he delivered my kids, anyway.
I hopefully will have something more interesting to say in the future, but just wanted to put it out there that I am here.
How’s that for mundane and pointless?
You forgot the “C.”
I’m sorry, you came here for intelligence?
Greetings and welcome. 
…and your user name rhymes with Dolores!
Welcome.
Welcome! It was mundane, but certainly not pointless. Looks to me like you’d fit right in with ease.
Did you bring snacks?
Welcome!
Welcome
When I happen to stumble onto an introduction OP, my litmus test as to what the future holds for the new member is to read the tea leaves in their banner ads. I see you’ve triggered the “Second coming of Christ” banner ads with this thread. I’m not sure what that says about you, but I never would’ve guessed that he was multiply orgasmic.
I dunno, I got home security ads. I prefer not to think about how the two could be related.
I’m getting Peace Flags now; a good omen, no?
Welcome to the Dope, Litoris. Always thrilled to see intelligent, well-written posts, eh? What about the rest of 'em? 
Welcome aboard the Dope Litoris, enjoy the stay.
You are joining just in time for the new server, good timing.
Sounds like you already know to avoid room 3, just head right over to room 4.
Jim (Room 4 is ready isn’t it?)
Define “ready”.
You know the normal welcoming stuff.
Um. I was going to suggest the usual battery of goat/squid/lonk, but upon reflection, I simply can’t see how we can prevent them from snickering up their collective sleeves at the name. Do we have a backup available? Preferably one that hasn’t taken sex ed yet? Hey, what’s Dan Quayle up to these days?
Oh, Hi Litoris, and welcome!
Hi, Litoris.
My name’s Mike Hunt.
There’s an easy solution to that; we’ll take their shirts away. Well, they have to be nekkid from the waist down, anyway, so we might as well.
Welcome, Litoris.
Hi back at ya Litoris!
I skipped Room 4, but you don’t want to know what it “costs” to do that, you might be better off just submitting.
Bonjour, y’all!
Welcome to a place of wit, intellect, and people like me!
Yoo-hoo! I am going up on the seniority ladder.
I mean, welcome in
Welcome Litoris. I am glad you have finally decided to join us. Just remember, if your husband comes into the room, just act natural, like nothing is going on.
You pimp for your five-pound chi-hua-hua? I am impressed.