any tips on introducing yourself and carrying on a conversation with someone you want to possibly date in the future? and books or websites i could check out? thanks
Hi! And welcome!
We need more info to work with… are you a man or a woman?
Obviously, different intro lines will work better for different sexes… “So, you gonna screw me or what??” might work very well for a woman, but not so well for a man.
BTW: this thread will probably be moved to MPSIMS. Don’t take offense!
The golden rules never change.
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Don’t expect too much from books, websites or even (dare I say it) fellow Dopers. The best teacher is experience. If you want to get good at talking to people, do it a lot!
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Be yourself. The minute you try to be someone or something you’re not, you kill your chances. Fakery isn’t seductive.
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Relax. Don’t feel the need to jump through hoops to impress or appeal; don’t sweat it; don’t say to yourself there is a goal you have to get to or a success/failure yardstick. Just relax, enjoy yourself, see where the journey takes you. You’ll get some good results and some not so good - same as everyone else.
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Take a genuine interest in the other person. Don’t pre-judge, or make snap decisions. Some people don’t shine their best at first. Everyone has their story, and you can learn from it.
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Try to maintain a good balance between transmit and receive. If you talk all the time, or listen all the time, it’s not good news for the other person.
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Be ready to smile. Be ready to laugh. Be ready to paint a fair impression of yourself - you have your good points, you have your flaws. See this humanity in yourself, and in the other person. It’s what binds people together. Nobody is all perfect or all loser, so don’t play those roles.
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Kindness, civility, politeness and respect never harm your chances, and often help. There is nothing un-sexy about showing respect and kindness for someone.
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If you want to talk, go to places where you can. 200 watts of heavy metal music don’t help.
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Actions speak louder than words. If you’re fun and interesting to be with out of bed, that’s when people begin to think you might be fun and interesting IN bed as well. Not because you SAY so or TELL them.
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Every meeting, social or sexual, is a transaction. Try to be a fair trader. Don’t short change anyone, or let yourself be short-changed.
Always set your approach appropriate to your setting. For example, you’d be more casual at a baseball game than in church.
And always choose your forums carefully. 
Off to IMHO.
Practice on people you don’t want to date. This gives you practice and confidence. Plus, sometimes you meet really cool people, or just learn something neat.
I just remembered a news story about an Englishman who’s just published a book on the subject (just found it: Nicholas Boothman’s “How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less”). The New York Times reporter took him to the streets and pointed out people at random, including an incredibly beautiful blonde, an incredibly grumpy man and a few other difficult types.
With a minute or two, he had them eating out of his hand.
Here’s what I can remember from the article: body language played a big role – facing them fully (he called it “heart-to-heart” facing), smiling, interested expression but not grinning, hands out of pockets and in sight.
I wish I could remember what his opening lines were. It wasn’t the usual, “Hi, how are you what’s you’re name.” With the blonde, it was, “Excuse me, I can I ask you a question? How can you tell if a person is trustworthy?”
The story was published in the August 17th issue of The New York Times. It’s in their archives, but you have to pay to look.
Moderator’s note:
Right you are; it really belongs in MPSIMS. I’m moving it on over.
Veb