Apparently, some knucklehead Navy pilots in Washington decided it would the height of hilarity to draw a penis in the sky in contrails. I gotta admit, I chuckled. But the U.S. Navy was not amused, especially after people started calling in to local stations to complain.
What puritanical bullshit. I can’t believe it’s that difficult it might be to come up with an explanation that will be accepted by kids in the event that “Yup, it looks like a penis” is too traumatic to handle. I mean who hasn’t played the cloud game?
Can you come with a creative explanation for this angry householder? The more creative, the better.
Is anyone else reminded of Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me?
Colonel: What is it, son?
Johnson: I don’t know, sir, but it looks like a giant–
Jet Pilot: Dick.
Dick: Yeah?
Jet Pilot: Take a look out of starboard.
Dick: Oh my God, it looks like a huge–
Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker.
Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Ooh, Where?
Bird-Watching Woman: Wait, that’s not a woodpecker, it looks like someone’s–
Army Sergeant: Privates! We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with–
Baseball Umpire: Two balls.
[looking up from game]
Baseball Umpire: What is that. It looks just like an enormous–
Chinese Teacher: Wang, pay attention!
Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying–
Musician: Willie.
Willie Nelson: Yeah?
Musician: What’s that?
Willie Nelson: [squints] Well, that looks like a giant–
Colonel: Johnson?!
Johnson: Yes, sir?
Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.
Later, as Dr. Evil is escaping: Basil: Did we get Dr. Evil?
Johnson: No, sir. He got away in that rocket that looks like a huge–
Schoolteacher: Penis. The male reproductive organ. Otherwise known as tallywhacker, schlong or–
Dad: Weiner? Any of you kids want another weiner?
Son: Dad? What’s that? points at rocket
Dad: I don’t know, son, but it’s got great big–
Peanut seller: Nuts! Hot salty nuts! Who wants some-- Lord Almighty!
Woman: That looks just like my husband’s–
Ringmaster: One-eyed monster! Step right up and see the One-Eyed Monster!
One-eyed Monster: jumps out and scares crowd, then points to the rocket Hey, what’s that? It looks like a big–
female Fan: Woody! Woody Harrelson? Can I have an autograph?
Woody Harrelson: Sure thing. [Sees rocket] Oh my lord.
Female fan: It’s big!
Woody: Nah, I’ve seen bigger, it’s–
Dr. Evil: (To Mini-Me) Just a little prick. It’s a flu shot. You’ve been in the coldness of space.
Given the certainty that the aircrew was composed of commissioned military members, they would almost certainty have been charged with violating UCMJ Article 88, Contempt Towards Officials. So yes, probably arrested. Probably court-martialed, etc.
Accidentally posted in the other thread, meant to post in this one.
Is anyone else reminded of Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me?
Colonel: What is it, son?
Johnson: I don’t know, sir, but it looks like a giant–
Jet Pilot: Dick.
Dick: Yeah?
Jet Pilot: Take a look out of starboard.
Dick: Oh my God, it looks like a huge–
Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker.
Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Ooh, Where?
Bird-Watching Woman: Wait, that’s not a woodpecker, it looks like someone’s–
Army Sergeant: Privates! We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with–
Baseball Umpire: Two balls.
[looking up from game]
Baseball Umpire: What is that. It looks just like an enormous–
Chinese Teacher: Wang, pay attention!
Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying–
Musician: Willie.
Willie Nelson: Yeah?
Musician: What’s that?
Willie Nelson: [squints] Well, that looks like a giant–
Colonel: Johnson?!
Johnson: Yes, sir?
Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.
Later, as Dr. Evil is escaping: Basil: Did we get Dr. Evil?
Johnson: No, sir. He got away in that rocket that looks like a huge–
Schoolteacher: Penis. The male reproductive organ. Otherwise known as tallywhacker, schlong or–
Dad: Weiner? Any of you kids want another weiner?
Son: Dad? What’s that? points at rocket
Dad: I don’t know, son, but it’s got great big–
Peanut seller: Nuts! Hot salty nuts! Who wants some-- Lord Almighty!
Woman: That looks just like my husband’s–
Ringmaster: One-eyed monster! Step right up and see the One-Eyed Monster!
One-eyed Monster: jumps out and scares crowd, then points to the rocket Hey, what’s that? It looks like a big–
female Fan: Woody! Woody Harrelson? Can I have an autograph?
Woody Harrelson: Sure thing. [Sees rocket] Oh my lord.
Female fan: It’s big!
Woody: Nah, I’ve seen bigger, it’s–
Dr. Evil: (To Mini-Me) Just a little prick. It’s a flu shot. You’ve been in the coldness of space.
As is typical when I want to respond, I’m mobile and can’t find links easily. Sorry.
It’s not that uncommon now to fly a track that spells or illustrates something. In some cases it’s promotional, like Boeing test flights tracing the company logo. Other times it’s GA guys screwing around so they can look up their flight track at home later to ‘impress’ their friends.
I wonder if these guys had the latter intent and genuine had not considered that conditions were right for persistent contrails. Maybe?
That makes sense. I should have spent some more time noodling out how flying such a craft might work. I was sort of envisioning the pilot just flying around and beeing really good with perspective (kind of like those people that paint giant art on the sides of trains).
The mother complaining that she ‘might have to have a conversation about male anatomy she wasn’t ready for’ made me laugh; I mean, if the kid knows what it is, no need to explain, if they don’t, it’s just a random shape, and no need to explain.
