There are many, many things to hate about the movie Blade Trinity.
But it’s the film that gave us the phrase ‘cock-juggling thundercunt’ and for that, I salute it.
Try this Sapnish translation - inserting the 4-letter words you just know are there:
I defecate on the fender that keeps the mud out of your prostitute mother’s vagina.
Heard in Spanish, it’s almost lyrical. 
Jesus-Criminey-Christ-In-A-Bottle
Add “With-Chickens” for severe need.
I think I’ve told this next story on the boards before, but who knows…
A college friend, Carla (a member of the same inner circle who still commonly uses the above expletive) used to have a lovebird. On occasion, this was a very cranky and ill-tempered lovebird. During such times, it would shuffle back and forth on its perch in its cage and grumble “shma shma shma…” with the “a” pronounced as in “apple”.
Carla started to incorporate this into her own cranky and ill-tempered vocabulary.
Misplacing her keys…“shma”
Spilling her beer…“shma!”
Getting cutoff in on the freeway…“SHMA!!!” (complete with leaning out the window of her 4runner, flailing her arm)
It wasn’t long untill we were all saying it, and continue to this day.
- cum drunk low rent goat felching motherfucker
- diarrhetic shit stain
- shit for brains
- syphilitic scabrous leprous pile of putrescent pustulent puke
- Jesus Horatio Hornblower Christ
- chicken shit son of a bitch
- sickening pile of smegma
Cuntbuggery!
Cracks me up.
I had a teacher (briefly) who would say, “Don’t like it? Well tough- -teddybear!”
I thought it was so bizarre.
“By the Preforated Balls of Saint Sebastian”
-**Shubumi**fuckin’ fuck the what in the fuckin’ fuckity-fuck-fuck fuck-diddily-uck? is my usual expression of bewilderment.
i also make freaquent use of the words “craptacular” “crapwich” “snotsicle” and “turd burglar”
Tom left me the expression of petulant annoyance, “Poo, bum, and wank.”
And does it say, "Fuck Fucking You, You Fuck!" on the back?Mr. Levins was raised by a (reluctant) Catholic father, so in front of the children (i.e., Mr. Levins) he would say “San Antonio!” instead of “Son of a bitch!”
The funny thing is that Mr. Levins has no problem at all with swear words, however vulgar or insulting, and yet he still says “San Antonio” instead of “son of a bitch!”
His other gem is “you piece of fuck!”
He enjoys it b/c it means absolutely nothing. “Fuck” is, by nature, a verb; he enjoys the fact that he has made it into a noun, and also trumped “piece of shit,” which isn’t as vulgar.
My mother used to say “crappola,” which meant she was really peeved, b/c she hardly ever even used the word “crap.”
At work (I work in a bar) I have managed to make the word “mother” into just as much a curse as its longer, more vulgar cousin “motherfucker.”
I drop something. “Mother–!”
It’s not like anybody can really complain, because I haven’t actually said “motherfucker,” and yet the intonation leaves it hanging to the point that I might as well have.
I have also made friends and coworkers start saying, “Mother of God!” When I was a kid, I read Gone With The Wind and was struck by Scarlett O’Hara’s use of the phrase at some point in the book, so I started using it, “for fun.”
Fifteen years later I still say it, and people who hang around me long enough start saying it too.
In the same application as “Holy shit!” or “Jesus!”
Feel free to borrow it too.
I say “Fizz!” And “Frazz!” And “Katoozle”, but usually as in, “What the katoozle?” And “Holy flurking schnitt!” I never use “shit” when referring to an actual poo, though. Poo is poo or poop or turds.
I also tend to say, “Pisscunt!” and “Cuntcrap!” and “Pissshit!” and “Piss in your pants!”
When I was little and I’d annoy my mom, she’d say, “Fly to your Jesus!”
My best friend in the 5th grade used to say “Dang-dy!” because her parents wouldn’t allow her to say “Dang” (too close to “Damn”, I guess). Somehow, though, “Dang-dy” was permissible.
I wonder how they would’ve felt about “Fuck-dy” . . .
How come you never think of this clever shit-dy when you’re actually in the fifth grade?
I’ve also adopted “goat felcher.”
As a family, we try to keep things fairly clean. We do this mostly by adopting fake swears from TV show. “Gorram” from Firefly and “Frak” from Battlestar Galactica, of course.
But Farscape with the motherlode for non-swears that sound just as satisfying as the real thing: “frell, hezmana, dren, frellnick, yotz, hess, drazz and fahrbot.” The thing is, all of them sound right in context without a translator, as we demonstrated here :
Because I listen to a lot of NPR, I’ve taken to using “cref” as a replacement. No offense to the good folks at TIAA-CREF, but it’s a good replacement - the correct length and everything.
SpouseO likes to say “poopy.” Makes him smile.
Oh God fuck us all, everyone!
I picked up “Boner-Biting Bastard” from the South Park movie.
“Cum Dumpster” is a great one, too.
I remember reading one Calvin and Hobbes strip where they’re walking along, and then Calvin stops and exclaims, “What if someone calls us a 'Pair ‘O Pathetic Peripatetics’??!?”
Hobbes responds with, “I don’t think anyone would go to the trouble of rhyming weird insults.”
i usually mix it up like samir on “office space.” i try and match them as oddly as i can, but when i’m really pissed, i sound just like samir. some that have made it in there, though not very creative, are “son of a shit” and “godfuckit”. also used to add “-tastic” to everything.
This board has given me several new expressions (goat feltcher, asshat), as others have noted above. That, and I tend, when around students at least, to sound like Spike or Giles…“Bloody hell!”
Let’s see… what’ve I actually used in all seriousness…
- Good god in hell, or just ‘god in hell’.
- Gods below.
- Dear good lord. --> good for when you need something to say in a deadpan tone.
- Holy Mother of God.
- Fuck a duck!
- Sweet Mother of Baal!
- Holy Aine.
- Poop.