Last month in New York, a man paid for pricey dinner with his blind date, then later attempted to bill his date for her half of the meal when she didn’t go out with him a second time. Lest you think this is just a retread of a famous urban legend, this blog tells the whole story, including actual voice mails from the man in question, his words becoming somewhat legendary in themselves:
“You ate the food, you drank the wine. Do the right thing.”
The story is hilarious in itself, but what really intrigued me were the many comments on the blog discussing the expectations of those who pony up for a meal or drinks. Predictably, the opinions fall more or less along gender lines: a few men tend to believe that one party (usually a woman) “owes” something - a second date, conversation - when the other party (usually a man) pays for dinner or a drink. On the other hand, most women (and many men as well) say that dating is a crapshoot, and don’t offer to pay for anything unless you can afford to get jack-squat in return.
As for my part, I was shocked - shocked! - to read that buying someone a drink in a bar is “code” that you are effectively renting them for several minutes of quality conversation.
Dude, if you want to talk to me, come up and talk to me! Then if I [del]blow you off[/del] (lemme rephrase that) give you the cold shoulder, you’ve saved your 8 bucks. If buying a drink is a way of breaking the ice (and, admittedly, it can be charming), understand that it will not override any character flaws or objectionable behaviors you exhibit between the drink purchase and my “thank you.” If I’m thoroughly turned off two seconds into the drink, I retain the right to walk away (and keep the drink). As someone in the comments mentions, “the drink is payment for your interruption.”
What do you all think about the use of monetary “codes” rather than straight-up asking if they want to chat or go on another date? And this being a rather heterosexist debate, do you homos find yourselves with similar communication/financial conflicts in the dating world?