Iron Chef Part Deux

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

I grew up in Southern California, which is a melting pot of many different cultures, which I’ve been exposed to, and it shows in my cooking, as I am not afraid to fuse different styles of cooking, even though a California-Mediterranean style is my favorite. I like to work off a base of traditional combinations, and add new twists to them. I believe that the most important thing in cooking, is that the food truly tastes good. Too often, highly trained chefs are so busy on worrying about the look of a dish, that they forget to check the taste. Sometimes, the most simple things taste the best.

Saffron is a traditional French and Moroccan complement to rabbit, and is often used in stews and tagines. The glaze is a honey-cinnamon glaze, which is going on a rabbit loin.

Since rabbit is more of a traditional winter dish, so my theme is “End of Winter, Beginning Spring”

<laughs> ::TVeblen gets a shot of my kitchen clogs–so big that even Coldfire would suffer clog-envy:: I can only hope that I can crush them, as I am doing my best here today.

62

A note about rabbit:

While it’s true that snowshoe hares are primariy traditional winter fare, cottontail season traditionally extends into early spring in many states. Here in PA, though the season is over, rabbits are routinely trapped. It is my belief that the rabbit is at it’s most succulent at this time from feeding on fresh new growth.

As a change of seasons dish, I find it most appealing.

You are of course free to grumble and complain. I know that true artistes must have free reign and room to vent if they are to be at their best. Being a magnaminious billionaire/fool, such things don’t take the shine off my rhinestones.
…of course, if you’d prefer the Matzoh balls, and popcorn…

63

I also thought it important that I select an ingredient that favored no given Iron Chef over another.

Finally, I have about a dozen rabbits in the deep freeze, and am looking for ideas.

64

Iron Chef robgruver stares into the cage of bunnies and chooses five of the largest ones. One by one he breaks their necks, skins, debones and cleans them with a passive look on his face. He grabs sausage casings, along with a varity of spices and procedes to make rabbit sausage.

A smile creeps across his face as he watches the other Iron Chef’s work.

65

Hattori is firting with one of the BDJs when suddenly…

Fenris-Otah: FUKUI-SAN! Iron Chef robgruver has agreed to an interview! I’ll do it the same way I did Iron Chef Javamaven’s. I’ll ask the questions and he can answer at his leisure, as time permits.

:: Turns to robgruver ::

OtahFenris turns the microphone next to robgruver and says
we’ll start with some of the same questions I asked of Javamaven:

  1. Please offer us some brief information on your background and cooking philosophy?

  2. You had a passive look on your face when you killed those rabbits. And yet, we in Japan think of the Scots as fierce and mighty warriors. How do you reconcile the traditional aggressive Scottish heritage with your relaxed, calm demeanor?

  3. What’s the theme of your presentation going to be?

  4. Iron Chef Chef Troy has called your native cuisine ‘revolting’ and ‘a ghastly mess barely fit for pig-slop, but only if the pigs aren’t choosy about what they eat and aren’t intended for human consumption afterwards’. Do you agree with this assessment and if not, could you respond to Chef Troy’s comments? Are you going to incorporate Scottish Themes in your dishes today?

I will continue to interview the other Chefs as they check in. Back to you Fukui-San!

Fenris-Otah

66

I was born in Glasgow, Scotland but raised in Texas by an old fashioned southern grandmother. I tend to cook with both sides. Lots of meat and grains as is typical in Scottish cuisine, but adding in vegetables like greens and beans as is typical of Southern American cooking. If I had to describe my philosophy it would be simple: Look. Throw. Pot. Look around the kitchen and throw what you find into the pot. ::robgruver gives a slight chuckle::

Once again this goes back to my upbringing. Can I be fierce and mighty? Yes, but while cooking I am relaxed. All stereotypes are not true, you know.

Without giving too much away, a cross between Modern Scottish and Traditional Southern cooking.

Like a majority of Americans, Iron Chef Troy seems to think that Haggis is the only dish that has come out of Scotland. While I agree that Haggis (in the traditional form) is not the most appetizing dish out there, there are many ways to cook the dish. I will show you today that Haggis can be a delicious and succulent dish along with the other fine dishes that come from Scotland’s Mothers and Daughters.

As for his comments, well, I can only say one thing: At least we don’t suck the brains out of random animals that come out of a ditch behind his house.

67

*Chef Troy saunters unhurriedly over to the bunny supply and selects several, including one of the Cadbury Bunnies. He turns them over to his bayou-bred team of sous-chefs, who deftly take care of the slaughtering process while Chef Troy gathers several emu eggs and walks back to the prep station, juggling them while whistling “Basin Street Blues.” He sets a pot of water to boil, directs his assistant to prepare a large quantity of “trinity” and begins assembling the ingredients for the soup course.

“Mr. Chairman,” Chef Troy calls languidly, “You never did answer the question about whether each dish must contain both ingredients or if it is sufficient to incorporate one or the other in everything.”

68

Chef Troy:

As in the actual Iron Chef episodes which entail dual ingredients, you are not required to use both in each dish.

69

Fukui, to Hattori: So you’re saying that Rabbits have a strong, gamey smell? But that’s what you say about everything except fish…you say those have a strong fishy smell. Don’t you like the smell of anything?

Fenris-Otah: FUKUI-SAN! Chef Troy will be giving us an interview next, same way as the others!

Hattori is firting with one of the BDJs when suddenly…

Fenris-Otah: FUKUI-SAN! Iron Chef Troy has agreed to an interview! I’ll do it the same way I did Iron Chef Javamaven’s. I’ll ask the questions and he can answer at his leisure, as time permits.

:: Turns to Chef Troy ::

  1. Please offer us some brief information on your background and cooking philosophy?

  2. I understand you’re having a soup course. What other courses do you plan to have? Will you be able to make the bold flavors of Cajun cuisine palatable to the more nuanced flavors we Japanese are accustomed to?

  3. I noticed your use of the word Trinity. Of course that’s a combination celery, green peppers and onions, but given the Bunnies and Eggs, was that also intended as subtle Easter pun? If so, it was awful and you should be ashamed of yourself. I, Fenris-Otah, am rather Cross about that. In any event, what’s the theme of your presentation going to be?

  4. It is said, Iron Chef Troy, that while robgruver respects you as a poster, he thinks that your cuisine can be approximated by taking a trashcan full of offal and pouring bug-filled ditch-water in. He claims it lacks subtlety and nuance. And Iron Chef Javamaven has said that she will crush you like a used cigarette beneath her bejewelled battle-sandals. How do you respond to them?

I will interview Iron Chef Zenster, when he gets a moment. Back to you Fukui-San!

Fenris-Otah

70

I am a self-taught chef - no snooty cooking schools OR kindly grandmothers made me the fabulous cook that I am. Through dedication to my craft and a lot of experimentation I have mastered the art of flavor arranging. Although I now make my living as a writer/editor, my days as a caterer and the work that went into the cookbook I have written put the polish on my chefly skills.

My cooking philosophy is simple, and in fact as you can see it’s stitched on the back of my chef’s jacket: “There’s nothing that can go wrong in the kitchen that you can’t fix with more butter.”

I am still developing my menu but I hope to present a full slate of recipes worthy of the forum: appetizer, soup, entree, salad, and dessert.

As for your other question, Cajun cuisine is almost as misunderstood as robgruver claims that Scottish food is. Through stereotyping by untalented hack chefs across the country trying to capitalize on the cajun craze some years ago by drenching everything in mouth-scorching amounts of cayenne pepper, people have come to think that cajun = “so spicy your eyelids sweat.” That’s not really the case at all; there is great variety in cajun food. It’s not all blisteringly spicy, any more than all Italian food has red sauce and meatballs on it.

In any case, I plan to focus more on the creole aspect of my adopted heritage. With its focus on complex flavors held in balance, I am sure it will appeal to the Japanese palate.

**

It was indeed a pun. Plus, I was watching The Matrix yesterday and I have a huge thing for the character Trinity in that movie.
**

And let’s not forget the other pun that attaches to idle lusting after Carrie-Anne Moss’s sublimely sexy character: “I bet she does it like a bunny.”
**

Okay. The theme of my presentation will be revealed at the proper time.
**

Otah, may I remind you that chefs are known for their temperament, and I have at least ten razor-sharp knives AND a kettle of boiling oil here.

**

You know, Otah, I’m beginning to wonder if you are rendering these quotes faithfully. For my answer to the charge that my cuisine lacks subtlety and nuance, see above. In any case, robgruver has hardly claimed the high ground by championing scottish food over cajun food. The dishes of my adopted homeland are infused by the positive influences of immigrants from all over the world, each adding its own distinctiveness to the gumbo that is cajun/creole cooking. Scottish food, on the other hand, is infused by… smoldering peat moss.

As for Iron Chef Javamaven1’s remark, I wasn’t aware that the details of our date for after the contest were to be made common knowledge, but she’s the mistress so I bow my neck to her decision.

71

SHOCKED! SHOCKED, I am at this baseless and mean-spirited accusation! I have based my life on emulating the real Otah. If you are going to accuse me (and by extension, him) of misquoting to stir up trouble amongst the Chefs, well…you might as well accuse Chairmen Kaga and Scylla of NOT being eccentric millionaire gourmets. You might as well say that Kitchen Stadium is really just a set. You might even say that there’s no such thing as “the Gourmet Academy”.

I am appaled.

Back to you Fukui-San, until Iron Chef Zenster arrives.

72

::silent but annoying camerman Veb shoves camera into Iron Chef Troy’s pan of gently bubbling Trinity; darts back–inadvertantly knocking Chef Troy ass over teakettle–to get a wider angle shot of his assembled ingredients: green peppper, perfectly diced onion and a slab of emergency, back-up butter the size of the G volume of the Oxford English Dictionary::

::As Iron Chefs robgruver and JavaMaven have given no hint as to their dishes, Veb seizes the opportunity to nose the camera into carefully assembled but mysteriously labelled ingredients. An unnamed substance clings to the lens–could it be grits for the Iron Chef robgruver’s Scottish/Southern cuisine?::

::Veb darts off to clean the lens–inadvertantly wrapping a cord through Iron Chef JavaMaven’s elegant ice-pick heels–and find a new shot. It’s either Chairman Scylla’s embroidered jacket and towering Easter bonnet or the pile of bloody pelts. It’s a tough choice, artistically speakining.::

73

Iron Chef Zenster ponders the imponderable as he begins to assemble the components of his menu. What shall it be? he muses; Mu Shu Mayan March Hare? Perhaps an Extravagant Egg Salad? Back Bay Bayou Butterflied Bunny (ala Antoine)? So many possibilities… the fusing of exotic flavors into Californian style comfort cooking is much more demanding than it might seem. Simplistic preparations and combinations must be very finely tuned to deliver maximum taste when consumed.

Iron Chef Zenster adds broiled bones and a pinch of sea salt to the delicate veal stock that has begun to simmer. The wines are uncorked and allowed to breathe as bouquet garnis are tied into cheesecloth for introduction into the sauces.

::gives the camera a serious look::

::pinches Veb as she walks away::

74

[sub]Ok, I’m early. The overachiever in me had to be first this time. Plus, I’m going to have a busy week, so I was worried that if I didn’t do this tonight, I wouldn’t get it in time for Friday. So sue me. Enjoy.[/sub]

Rabbit & Egg Springtime Menu

First Course: ”Sausage, Eggs & Toast”

  • Canapé of French-style scrambled eggs, rabbit sausage, crème fraiche, and chervil, on a 2” Pullman bread toast point*

A small, two-bite canapé starts the menu, with its whimsical nod towards the American way to start the day. A toast point holds a slice of hand-made rabbit sausage, redolent with sage and thyme; topped with buttery scrambled egg, crème fraiche, and a pluche of chervil.

[sub] served with Champagne (Veuve Cliquot, orange label)[/sub]

Second Course: “Lapin Sauté à la Toucassine”
A Fricassee of rabbit, served à la Blanquette in a creamy saffron sauce

Pieces of rabbit are gently browned and braised in white wine, leaving the meat so tender it practically melts in your mouth. The egg-enriched saffron sauce is as bright as Spring sunshine, and is a wonderful foil to the rabbit. The decoration of bright green basil ribbons highlights this dish.

[sub]served with French Chablis[/sub]

Third Course: “Moroccan-Style Stuffed & Roasted Rabbit Loin, Served on Wild Rice Cake

A rabbit loin is stuffed with dried fruit and nuts, roasted, glazed with honey and cinnamon, and sliced into medallions. Underneath, lies a crunchy surprise—a fried wild rice cake—which is an excellent contrast to the sweetness of the rabbit loin.

[sub] Served with Alsatian Gewürztraminer[/sub]

Fourth Course: Fried Rabbit Salad
A salad of mixed baby greens, lightly tossed with apple-cinnamon balsamic vinaigrette, garnished with strips of fried rabbit, caramelized shallots, and candied walnuts

This salad is light and reminiscent of Spring; the baby greens are the first of the harvest, and their fresh bite contrasts with the sweetness of the shallots and walnuts. The fried rabbit adds a crunchy texture.

[sub]Served with Willamette Valley Pinot Noir[/sub]

Fifth Course: Chocolate Spring Sampler
A sampler of three miniature chocolate desserts: a chocolate-coconut bird’s nest, with a Yuzu apricot gelée “egg”, a chocolate covered strawberry injected with Grand Marnier, and a chocolate beignet with molted chocolate-ginger ganache center.

Using Chairman Kaga’s wild card, Chef Java presents a sampler of chocolate desserts that all remind one of Spring. A bird’s nest of chocolate and coconut, with Spring’s first surprise, a small egg made of French apricot jelly. The chocolate-covered strawberry brings back memories of chocolate shops selling these treats throughout the Springtime. The chocolate beignet goes with the tradition of Mardi Gras and the sale of these favorite fritters—but this time, with a creamy, molten center.

[sub]Served with 15-year-old Madeira[/sub]
Recipes:

“Sausage, Eggs & Toast”

French-Style Scrambled Eggs
8 large eggs (or one emu egg…)
½ cup heavy cream
salt & white pepper to taste
butter, as needed

Whisk eggs, add cream. Add salt and pepper as desired. Heat skillet on low heat, melt butter. Pour in eggs, and cook over low heat, stirring constantly. This will take about 15 minutes for the eggs to solidify into a small curd consistency. Do not overcook the eggs, leave them slightly “wet”.

Rabbit Sausage
1 cup milk
3 ounces stale bread crumbs
8 ounces finely chopped lean pork tenderloin
1 rabbit, all flesh removed from bones, finely chopped (including heart & liver)
6 ounces pork fatback, chopped
6 ounces onion, cooked until soft in butter
5 eggs
1 tablespoon fresh sage, chopped
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon cayenne
½ teaspoon allspice
about 4 yards of pork sausage casing

Boil milk and bread crumbs together, stirring until stiff.
In large bowl, mix together all ingredients (except casing).
Before stuffing casings, make a small patty and cook, to test for seasonings, and adjust as needed.
Using large pastry bag, fill with forcemeat, and fill casings, smoothing out bubbles.
Tie into links, and let hang in refrigerator to dry overnight.

Pullman Toast Points
Sliced Pullman Bread
Olive oil

Line sheet pan with parchment paper
Place slices of bread on sheet pan, and brush well with olive oil
Toast in 300° oven until golden brown.
Cut into 2” triangles.

Assembly: On toast point, dab crème fraiche, top with a thin slice of fried sausage; top sausage with egg. Top canapé with pluche of chervil.

Lapin Sauté à la Toucassaine

1 rabbit, cut into pieces for sautéing, lightly salted
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 large onion, chopped
5 cloves garlic
2 Tablespoons flour
¼ teaspoon ground saffron
small pinch cayenne
1 ½ cups dry white wine

2 egg yolks
½ cup cream
¼ cup butter
Salt & white pepper to taste
½ bunch fresh basil leaves

Using a dutch oven or cassoulet dish, heat the olive oil and lightly brown rabbit over a medium flame.
Add the onion and garlic, and stir, keeping the onions from turning brown.
Sprinkle flour, and turn pieces every few minutes, until flour becomes lightly colored.
Sprinkle saffron and cayenne, turning until saffron is spread through out ingredients
Turn fire to high, add white wine, and scrape sides and bottom until the fond is mixed into sauce.
Bring to a boil, cover, and turn flame to lowest setting.
Cook until rabbit is tender, about 30 to 40 minutes.
Remove pieces of meat and cover.
Strain sauce and work the onions and garlic through strainer, pureeing the cooked onions & garlic
Skim off fat from sauce. Return to sauce pan, and simmer for 15 minutes, taking off fat and any “scum” that rises to the surface. Add cream to sauce, and heat through.
In small bowl, whisk yolks.
Add about ½ cup of sauce to yolks, whisk, then slowly add to sauce, whisking constantly. Bring to low simmer, but do not boil. Sauce will thicken.
Return rabbit to sauce, and let simmer for a few minutes to reheat meat.
Chop basil into thin chiffonade

Assemble: With slotted spoon, center rabbit pieces in shallow soup plate, and with ladle, drizzle sauce on top. Sprinkle with fresh basil ribbons.

Moroccan-Style Stuffed & Roasted Loin of Rabbit, Served with Wild Rice & Egg Cake

Moroccan Style Loin:
1 Rabbit loin
1 ounce prunes, medium dice
1 teaspoon chopped coriander leaves (cilantro)
1 teaspoon chopped almond
½ cup cooked instant couscous
Salt & pepper to taste
2 Tablespoons honey
generous dash of cinnamon

Split loin lengthwise, and lightly pound with meat hammer to flatten. In small bowl, mix prunes, coriander, almonds, and couscous. Season as needed. Stuff loin, and butcher-tie. In a skillet (one that can go from stove to oven is best), heat a little oil on med-high heat. Sear loin on all sides to a golden brown.

Heat honey (microwave is ok for this) and mix in cinnamon. Brush honey glaze onto loin. Roast loin in 400° oven until internal temperature is 145° (about 20 to 30 minutes). Remove from oven, and let rest for 10 minutes before removing twine and slicing into medallions.

Wild Rice Cake
1 cup cooked wild rice (follow package instructions)
¼ cup shredded carrot
¼ cup finely julienne onion
2 Tablespoons flour
2 eggs
Salt & pepper to taste

Toss rice, carrot, and onion together, then toss flour to coat entirely. In small separate bowl, whisk eggs with a salt and pepper. Mix in egg by hand to rice mixture. Shape into 3-4” patties (1/2” thick). In skillet, heat oil on medium heat. Fry patties until golden brown on both sides.

Assembly: Place Rice cake on plate center. Slice rabbit loin into medallions, and top cake in a spiral. Decorate plate with chopped cilantro, julienne of preserved lemon, and sesame seeds.

Fried Rabbit Salad

Fried Rabbit pieces:
Cut strips of rabbit meat
Seasoned flour (salt, pepper, and cayenne) for dredging
2 eggs, beaten
Panko (Japanese bread crumbs), with a little chopped parsley added for color
Frying oil, heated to 375°

Dredge rabbit strips in flour, covering entirely. Dip in egg, then roll in panko.
Let rest for 20 minutes, in refrigerator, before frying.
Deep fry in oil, until golden brown (will take only a few minutes)

Caramelized Shallots:
6 shallots, cut into rings
butter, as needed
Salt & pepper to taste

Melt butter on low heat in skillet. Add shallots, and cook on low heat, stirring occasionally, until shallots are completely brown, and taste slightly sweet. Season as needed.

Candied Walnuts:
1 1/2 cup broken walnuts
½ cup sugar
2 T. water

In saucepan, heat sugar and water together, until hard crack stage. Add walnuts, and stir quickly to coat walnuts. (work quickly here) Pour out mixture onto silpat, and spread out. When cooled, break into pieces.

Apple Cinnamon Balsamic Vinaigrette
2 T. Apple Balsamic vinegar
1 T. Apple cider
½ teaspoon cinnamon
Salt & pepper to taste
1 teaspoon sugar
¾ cup extra virgin olive oil

Whisk together first 5 ingredients. Add oil slowly, whisking constantly to make emulsion.

Assembly: In bowl, add about 1-2 Tablespoons of vinaigrette. Add one large handful of baby greens, and toss until coated. Using large ring mold, shape salad into nice round pile. Top salad with shallots and three strips of rabbit. Sprinkle candied walnuts around salad.

Chocolate Spring Sampler

Chocolate-Coconut Bird’s nest
¼ cup fancy shred coconut, lightly toasted
melted milk chocolate, as needed

*wearing rubber gloves will make this easier
In medium bowl, mix chocolate into coconut, coating coconut lightly, with just enough to hold coconut together in a mass. Shape into bird’s nest, using hands, and place on wax paper. Refrigerate to set.

Yuzu Apricot Gelee “Egg”
1 cup liquid apple pectin
1 cup apricot puree
crystal sugar, as needed

Gently simmer pectin and puree, until thick. Pour out onto greased silpat and refrigerate. Cut with small oval cutter, for “egg” shape, and gently roll in crystal sugar.
Chocolate-Covered Strawberry with Grand Marnier
Tempered Dark Chocolate (Waaaaaay too many instructions on this. You can go see the link in the Recipe Thread)
Melted White chocolate
Large Strawberries, Stem attached
Grand Marnier

Clean strawberries gently, and with injector (available at specialty cook stores), inject strawberries with Grand Marnier (filling center)—do not overfill!!
Dip strawberries into dark chocolate, and drizzle white chocolate across dark chocolate (if desired, if the dark chocolate is still wet, use a toothpick and drag across surface for marbled effect)

Chocolate Beignet With Molten Chocolate-Ginger Ganache Center

Here, I must apologize, as I cannot give the recipe for this one. This idea is very similar to a dessert we do at work, and since I have signed a non-disclosure agreement about recipes, I cannot, in good faith, post the recipe. So, you will just have to wonder, and drool. Or, go to Nick & Stef’s Steakhouse in L.A., where we sell the original version of the dessert with coffee ice cream.

[sub]Ok, Chef Troy. Let’s blow this joint, get a martini in hand, and pick up cute guys.[/sub]

75

Fenris-Otah: FUKUI-SAN! Iron Chef Zenster has finally consented to an interview. As he is a noted for his reticence and an eccentric genius to boot, this quite the honor! : Turns to IC Zenster:

Iron Chef Zenster, again similar questions, please answer at your leisure:

  1. Please offer us some brief information on your background and cooking philosophy:

  2. You said you will be

Is this a caluculated play towards the first chair judge, always a man of great potency and vigor? How do you expect the second-chair judge, always a young actress, to react to your ‘erotic’ meal. What will Chairman Scylla…pardon me…

::Camera-person Veb catches Fenris-Otah’s attention. Huddled whispers ensue [sub]are you SURE?[/sub] ::

Excuse me. Apparently I misunderstood. You said “EXOTIC” flavors. Nevermind.

How are you going to fuse the strong flavors of both Veal Broth and Rabbit into a cohesive whole?
3) What’s the theme of your presentation going to be?

  1. It is rumored that there is a concerted effort between at least Javamaven and Chef Troy to target your efforts with their recipes. “We will crush him” Javamaven said, in a delicate voice. Chef Troy agreed "He will be destroyed…(culinarily speaking, of course!)"How do you respond to them putting out a culinary “hit” on you?
76

Oh my. The bar has been set high.

I’ll remind all judges, not to post commentary or scores until we have all entries.

Innane commentary is of course both welcome and required.

77

As soon as the annoying camera operator is out of the way, Iron Chef Troy quietly directs his assistant to set aside the half-finished trinity before adding the bell peppers to it, and has him begin slicing mushrooms and quartering new potatoes instead.

While the water is heating, Chef Troy deftly cuts several rabbits into serving pieces and then debones them, placing the bones atop the reserved onion and celery from the decoy trinity in a roasting pan. He then slides the pan under the broiler to brown the bones and caramelize the vegetables. He removes several emu eggs, now hard-boiled, from the boiling water and adds the bones and vegetables to it, lowering the heat to a simmer. Soon the rabbit stock is a rich brown and perfumes the air with its savory aroma.

Meanwhile, one of the bayou assistants has boiled some crawfish. Chef Troy breaks one in two, sucks the head with a defiant glance at robgruver, and then eats the crawfish’s tail to check it for seasoning and doneness. Satisfied, he directs the assistant to peel and chop several cups of crawfish tail meat, then set it aside and begin chopping the tasso.

Moving on to the vegetable station, Chef Troy observes the quick, economical movements of another assistant, who is seeding and chopping tomatoes and cucumbers. The Chef sets aside several of the largest cucumbers with instructions to peel, halve, and hollow them. He also hands this assistant the chopped bell pepper from the decoy trinity.

Stopping at another station, **Chef Troy pokes several pieces of rabbit meat that are poaching in a fragrant liquid, waiting for it to reach the falling-apart-tender stage. He places celery, green onions, parsley, and garlic into a food processor and purees them, then begins adding horseradish, creole mustard, and other items to the mixture.

78

::lowbrow American television viewer::

Hey pa git in ere, lookit wha’s on TV. Dey be killing bunnies. Lookit that dey be doin’ some fancy-dancy cookin wit dem. Dey also be scramblin some eggs. Boy howdey dey cook faster 'n a hound after da chickens. Eeeww, wat dat one doin, look like he’s be makin it raw.

Ya thenk them recipees be any good on squirrel? I be cookin up some gordon blues meals. Git me a pencil and a envelope to jote dem rec’pes down on.

79

Chef Troy shows a skinned rabbit carcass to one of the Cadbury Bunnies and then tests the edge of his knife while casting a meaningful look at the bunny, which promptly begins to lay lots and lots of chocolate eggs.

80

suddenly wondering why no one has been underfoot, Iron Chef Troy looks around and spots Fenris/Otah and Veb in a secluded spot, smearing chocolate all over each other and nibbling at each others’ fingertips. Forgotten on a table, Veb’s camera is aimed directly at the lurid spectacle; one of the other camera operators shushes Chef Troy and whispers that the deal with Konnichi Wa Tokyo’s investigative reporter, Mariko Watastori, depends on a minimum of fifteen minutes of footage.

Understanding the camera operator’s need to supplement the meager pittance paid him by the show, Chef Troy strolls over to where the overachieving Javamaven reclines at her station after finishing early. Handing her a martini, he inquires softly what she precisely meant by “Let’s blow this joint” and whether he should start lining everyone up.