In this particular case, sure, but I know a number of perfectly normal people who didn’t get married until their 40s (if at all). Just because you’re 40 and unmarried doesn’t mean you have “issues.” Some people just don’t dig that marriage stuff. Hell, I waited until 37 myself, and I’ve had a perfectly normal dating and relationship life.
Look, if you’ve got a “thing” for Asian women, then whatever. You’ve got a racist dick. Maybe a little introspection might cure it, maybe not. But if you have a thing like that, moving to Japan isn’t the craziest idea in the world.
But if that’s your thing, just living in an Asian country isn’t going to guarantee an Asian girl is going to jump on your dick. What’s in it for her?
And the likelihood is that your unexamined reasons for wanting an Asian chick won’t match up with the flesh and blood human beings you’re actually going to meet over in Japan or Korea or whatever. You want somebody submissive? What makes you think Asian girls are submissive? You want someone from a “traditional” background? Dude, if she’s really traditional she’s not going to date you, she’s going to be marrying the guy she’s “supposed” to, which isn’t going to be an old fat misogynistic gaijin. The problem is that you think you want an “Asian girl” but what you really want doesn’t actually exist on planet Earth.
And you know, learning the language of the Asian chicks you’re trying to meet can only help. Just saying.
If you’re an old fat miserable bastard who needs himself an Asian chick, then head for Thailand and find yourself a bar girl who’s willing to act submissive and turned on by miserable fat bastards as long as they have plenty of money. Oh, you’re old, fat, miserable, misogynist, and POOR? Well then. I guess you’ll have to rely on your personality?
That’s an interesting description, dont think ive heard that one before.
Dont think ive seen it either 
No, not too old.
Cue Steven Tyler
Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! Dream on! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!
My 40yo brother got married in June, to his 48yo bride.
One of my uncles and his bride stunned their two families when they announced their wedding. 55yo groom, 56yo bride; they’d met a few months before (she was the sister of a dear friend of his), had been sending several letters a day since, and finally decided they’d rather continue the conversation face to face. Their marriage lasted more than 40 years.
Oh, for fucks sake.
Not only is he fat and “old” he’s also one of the most clueless men on the planet. You have my permission to slap some sense into him. He spent his entire 30s in Japan and didn’t find a woman? :smack:
Japan women don’t simply fall in love with any foreigner who happens to wonder over there and speak English. BUT, there are a zillion Japanese women who don’t like Japanese guys for a number of reasons. There are more clueless men per capita there then anywhere else. A lot of women have given up meeting guys by the time they are 35 or 40.
If one is sincere and reasonable about standards it’s not the hardest task in the world.
He needs to overcome his depression. I can understand that. I struggle with it and living in a foreign environment with few friends can be hard. However, he is going to have to toss out this sense of entitlement where the gods have decreed that he gets the hot supermodel just 'cuz he’s special or something. Bullshit.
He is completely mistaken about the lack of medication. They regularly prescribe antidepressants. I was on them for years there.
One of the easiest ways to meet women is for language exchange. One I used to use was conversationexchange(dot)com. No, it’s not going to get you a supermodel, but you can meet ordinary women at someplace which isn’t a bar.
Sign up, put up a profile and look at meeting women from 30 to 40. It ain’t rocket science. This accomplishes a couple of goals. He gets to learn Japanese and gets to meet single women.
Somewhere I’ve heard that there are a lot of “players.” Obviously, I would never be a player or my name would be something like “TokyoPlayer” and NOT “TokyoBayer.” Completely unrelated names, of course.
OK, I joined the board in 2003 when I was single, fit and around 40. Like other places in the world, there are a lot of attractive women who also enjoy short-term relationships with no strings attached. Being a well dressed professional who spoke Japanese fluently but was an “exotic” Westerner didn’t hurt.
Clearly his age is the least of the impediments to getting to know anyone. Self-obsession, self-loathing, unwillingness to change or (so it would seem) try to understand what might make him attractive - those would kill off any relationship with the most handsome person on earth of any age.
I think that depends on exactly what the issues are. For example, in my experience, there’s a difference between an unmarried 40 yr old who has had
experience in adjusting to living with other people and those who have not. The people I know who got married after 40 who had never lived with anyone but their parents could not adjust and did not have successful marriages. Those who got married after 40 but had earlier relationships involving cohabitation did much better - but generally speaking, their only issue was finding someone they wanted to marry who also wanted to marry them.
Heck, Wolverine was a short, ugly, questionably employed Canadian with a rage problem, and he landed a Japanese girlfriend when he was over a hundred years old. He did speak the language, however.
Superheros always get the girls
No sympathy for a loser who wouldn’t/couldn’t successfully date American women and who thought it’d be easy to go live in asia and land a pretty young thing there, without working to improve himself or even bothering to learn the language. As an asian-american guy who’s had to fight to win the attention of asian women in the US, this sense of entitlement infuriates me.
ETA: Trying to hide up your double chin with a beard is possibly the laziest solution to any problem ever. It’s literally just letting shit grow on you like moss in an attempt to cover up an unsightly part of your body.
If anything I think it’s on the young side. I am technically married at 38 and was married at 25. Too young for numerous reasons and I was always mature for my age.
Now, I don’t really believe in marriage and it’s definitely a 1-time at most thing IMHO. I can’t imagine trying again but I think doing it at an older age would probably be better. For one thing your chances of “growing old together” are much better if you wait until you are already somewhat old. Also I think a lot of the things that derail marriages - infidelity, financial instability, not knowing who you really are - are more likely to be under control. At any age you are looking at a less than 50% success rate (much lower if you define success as actually enjoying being around your spouse) but I think if you do it later you might be better off. Besides, getting married is not needed to “not be alone.” The guy in the OP has issues that getting married won’t magically fix and he’s unlikely to attract or keep suitable partners unless he works on himself first. I think one of the biggest mistakes in life, especially for lonely men, is to think that if only some woman/partner comes along to cure your loneliness. I have never felt more alone than I have while in a relationship and never felt better than when I was single and didn’t even date at all.
I counted 8 metaphors in that paragraph.
Why exactly does your friend even want to get married? What does he picture married life being? An attentive, submissive wife, who dotes on him and cooks and cleans and satisfies him sexually, then makes herself scarce when he’s tired of her company? Oh and she has to be young, slim and beautiful as well. What does he have to offer in return? His fat, miserable, unpleasant self? Yeah, I don’t get why more women aren’t signing up for that either. :rolleyes:
Probably this.
If anything at age 40 there is a beginning of a growing gender imbalance on available men. So for the women, to find a man who’s not in jail or strung out, who has a good job, reasonably good looking, and pleasant to be around - the pickings are mighty few. Basically most of the good men have all been taken.
There was a guy at work who at around age 40-42, got divorced. And you should have seen how all the single women in the place suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Its like the single women have radar or a network that tells them when a good man comes on the market.
Thank you, I don’t plan on looking for a nice electrician in that site but it looks like it may come useful next time I’m in a place where I only sort’a-kind’a-speak the local language
I was 42 when I was widowed and that didn’t happen for me. Might have been where you worked.
I married my husband when he was over 50. But he wasn’t a self-loathing woman-hater.
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