Right. So in other words, “Can I expect to bang hot chicks though I’m in a wheelchair?”
Thinking about it more, the standards for personality and looks would be higher for a guy in a wheelchair than a guy not in a wheelchair for me too.
Interesting that a couple people would prefer an amputee to a SCI. I don’t think I could do an amputee at all. Actually I’m not sure either way. I know I could be attracted to a guy in a wheelchair but when it came to sex…not sure. I get scared off from sex pretty easily. I’m only comfortable with what I’m used to. Unfortunately.
For me, a lot would depend on the circumstances that landed the person in a chair. Fell in the wheat thresher? Sure, why not. Polio? Hell, that’s hot. Shot in the spine while committing an armed robbery? Sorry, no. Had a few too many beers and drove into a tree? Uh uh.
For realz. Whines about how you can’t snag Jessica Alba are pretty gauche even when they’re not coming from someone who craps their drawers on the weekly.
Nobody is whining about anything. I wasn’t saying anything about what “I” can or can’t get. I was posing the general question of whether or not a woman’s level of physical beauty would make her unable/unwilling to view a man in a wheelchair as a potential sexual/dating partner. That’s all. Let’s keep the personal potshots out please.
I bristled at the “9 or 10” criteria, but the question is a fair one considering the source is a good looking, confident guy who spends a lot of time at the gym.
We all have preferences and deal breakers we could be taken to task for. I wouldn’t be interested in a smoker or a guy more than ten years younger. Or someone obese, because he or she couldn’t keep up with me. I’m a 42 year old nursing mom, my sexier days are behind me so I could get piled on by 30 year old overweight smokers who might remind me I’d be lucky to have their consideration. And I still won’t change my criteria for a mate, even if it means I’m limiting my chances.
W
Huh? I have? Cite?
Eh, I’ll leave it to others to rank me, I guess… I have no idea. The SO is effusive about it and my friends say I’m attractive (of course they do), but historically this hasn’t translated into dating success, so I’ll leave that as an exercise for the reader. I’m not hideous, how’s that?
Anyway, what Mean Old Lady said. I think it’s not a coincidence that I don’t know anyone in a wheelchair – everything I’m passionate about involves at least some degree of moving around and physicality. Theatre, filmmkaing, circus arts, running, even photography (you have to put yourself in all sorts of weird positions to get the shot). I wouldn’t know how to adjust my lifestyle to someone who couldn’t do all that. I’m not a slow-down kind of person – I even walk fast. And I think it would be difficult to have a significant relationship with someone I couldn’t share these passions with. Hell, even things as simple as the fact that a lot of the venues we perform in (i.e. can afford to rent) are not wheelchair accessible. It would suck to have my SO be unable to see any of the stuff I’m spending all of my time and heart on.
That said, I don’t think it’s an attractiveness issue (a turn-off) as much as a lifestyle issue.
never mind
Actually, no, that’s not quite it. Let me put it this way: let’s say objectively (for the sake of this. Discussion) that without seeing the chair, most woman would rate me as an 8 or even 9. Now put the chair back into the picture, how likely is it that I could attract the eye of someone “in my league”, based on that superficial numerical ranking alone (I’m thinking dating sites here)?
Honestly? Really and truthfully?
You need to worry less about the chair and more about coming across as so extremely hostile and angry. I am no ten and never have been although once upon a time I was seventeen, five two, a size five and a d cup. I have two daughters. I would not want them to date a man like you should they inherit my figure and that has very little to do with the wheelchair.
You scare me.
You’re like a disabled Tucker Max.
bingo.
The wheelchair or the handicap in itself wouldn’t be the issue really, the extremely skinny legs would be a turn off.
Can people please stop responding to this post (not Helena’s but the one to which she is responding)? It is completely off base and a misreading of the OP and subsequent posts of mine.
So why didn’t you say so? While that still sounds a lot like “Can I expect to get hot chicks?” that is a different question than what you asked, which is "Hot ladies, how do you feel about dudes in wheelchairs?"Actually, no, it’s the same thing.
^Now that right there is some funny shit, yo.
R
Ok, I’m glad you said this. While I have extreme atrophy that has resulted in extremely skinny legs, many spinal cord injuries do not result in such atrophy. Spacticity, which is involuntary muscle spasms below the injury level, is a very common side effect to most SCIs that results in the preservation of muscle mass to the lower body. I don’t suffer from spacticity, therefore I don’t get the “silver lining” of the problematic issue, either. Many people who have SCI and use chairs have legs that look pretty much just like that of an able-bodied person (albeit not an athlete).
Well, not quite the same thing, hence my wording. And I often times make the mistake of not fully articulating myself at the outset, making it necessary to backtrack and clarify. This has netted me accusations of dishonesty and after-the-fact story changing, when all I’ve ever been guilty of is lazy and poorly-composed writing. I feel that I’ve made improvements over my time here, though.
I can honestly say I would never date a man in a wheelchair. Or who has a pronounced limp.
However, if a billionaire started giving me the eye, I might rethink my sexuality.
The disabled Tucker Max comment cracked me up! Hahahaha.
I rate myself a 11.
So, Jaime, to answer your question, I wouldn’t consider dating a guy in a wheelchair.
Look, in all seriousness, just so there are no misconceptions, if I had to rate myself in attraactiveness, IRL, i’d give myself a high 7. Everything else being discussed here is purely hypothetical and the higher-ends of the attractiveness scale are used because they are most illustrative of the issues.