I can’t help but envy anyone who lives in whatever part of our society it is where their personal and professional deficiencies may be overlooked so long as his or her butthole is as cute as the Easter Bunny’s nostril.
But no bleach for me, although I would like extra starch and military creases (be sure to use a cold iron, please!)
Why yes, yes it does.
I only tried it once *before *I found out detailed oriented gays keep that area trimmed below cornrowable levels.
Damn you, 11811, for stealing my joke.
Somebody asked Michael Jackson that same question a couple of decades back.
True dat. With him, it’s hard to tell where the asshole begins and ends.
Curiously enough (or not, knowing this crowd), we’ve covered this before, more than once. Here’s a thread on it from three years ago:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=263596&highlight=Anal+Bleaching
I thought anuses are supposed to be darker. That gives them character. Perhaps the next fad could be for people to put lipstick on their anuses to give it a more distinct personality.
OK, look, when you see an anus and it is not very appealing, you are not in a bleaching situation anyway. Anuses are supposed to be unappealing. That’s how they work as a metaphor for everything else in the universe that is unappealing.
Supposing, though, that you see an anus and you do find it appealing - in this circumstance, if it should occur, there’s really nothing to fix, is there?
Besides, can you imagine going through that, and then one day you’re sitting there thinking “Oh, no, I shouldn’t have eaten that blueberry pie!”
Sometimes I think I really need to rethink my habit of clicking on any thread started by QtM. :smack:
I feel I need to add this punchline; “Rectum?! It damn near killed 'em!”
Then how would you know if it was blood in your stool, or Estee Lauder?
Interestingly enough, I was reading an autobiography of a woman who models for adult films and magazines just last week. And she says that she gets a lot of anal-themed work because apparently she has a naturally attractive anus - which she says she hadn’t known until it was mentioned to her by some photographers.
Taste of course. (Where’s the pukey smiley when you need it?!)
Well, if they ever decide to advertise anal bleaching on a large scale, I have a campaign all worked out.
*Scene: A swingers party or some such.
Camera pans around the room. Everyone is naked. All sorts of couples and threesomes and more-somes are going at it. We can see that these people are of all shapes, sizes, and ages (at least by the standards of tv-land…but they’re not all perfect model-types)
Camera stops on one woman, dejectedly sitting alone on a bench by a wall. She’s a knockout by any standard. But she’s obviously a wallflower. She looks out at all the people having fun.
We hear her thoughts: “I don’t know why nobody wants to play with me. I used deodorant. I brushed my teeth. I’m freshly shaved. And I think I’m pretty enough! I wish I knew what the problem is!”
The camera pulls away a bit, and we see a somewhat matronly older woman sit down next to the pretty young thing and look at her with knowing sympathy.
The pretty young thing tearfully blurts out “Why am I so unpopular!?”
The older woman says “It’s not you, dear. It’s your dingy old asshole.”
The pretty young thing looks surprised and hopeful, and a hot young stud comes over and leads the older woman away. We hear the older woman giggling off screen and saying “oh, you want me to bend over…again??”
Cut to screen with “DR. MERCOTAN’S ANAL BLEACHING CLINIC” with contact information, and voice-over saying “Could your sex life be a little more lively? Call Dr. Mercotan’s Anal Bleaching Clinic today!” *
That’s Doc Mercotan’s Anal Bleaching Emporium, where every tunnel ends with a light!
I thought this whole idea was more than a little bit racist, but then it hit me…black people can make a political statement by making the most appropriate bit of their anatomy white! 
Star light, star bright. First star I see tonight.
Okay, serious question–
I understand that regular skin bleaching can make the skin more fragile and delicate. Would anal bleaching make the bleachee more prone to hemmorhoids and fissures and things like that?
Heh. That actually has a wonderful old timey feel about it. I wonder what 19th Century or early 20th Century anal bleaching advertising would have been like…
Mercotan’s Guaranteed
*** HYGIENIC ***
ASS-O-SPARKLE
RECTAL WHITENER AND VITAMIN TONIC
– for all the family –
Manufactured in ENGLAND
in hygienic laboratories using the electric power
USE DAILY!
5c/Jar
All that needs, LoadedDog, is the Royal seal and some more PR (“used by those at court last season!”)
Is this for hygiene or um, aethestics? Or both? I can’t imagine using bleach on human skin–particularly a mucus membrane. Ouch!
It does give a certain subtext to the term, “lily white ass” though.
Paging elfbabe. Your father has some warped interest.
Absolutely! I’ll have it done some time after my liposculpture of the ankles.