Strinka’s thread made me wonder about this…
If you’re attracted to someone, do you think that’s usually because they also have an attraction to you? That part of the attraction is the mutual thrill of seeing each other?
My answer–yes, I think so. I know several attractive people, but only a handful of them that I crush on. Those crushees tend to flirt back, which makes me think that the non-crushees don’t respond, thus making them less attractive to me.
Or maybe I’m full of it. Discuss.
I can state for a fact that attraction does not have to be mutual. There have been many women I was attracted to, who were not attracted to me. There have been a few cases of the opposite.
Mutual attraction? A rare and intoxicating elixir.
I have very high standards for physical attractiveness for my females. I am not sure how this works in the overall scheme of things but I do seem to get one that meets my needs whenever I want one. If attractiveness works as you suggest however then I could have the pick of a mighty fine and large stable but something tells me it doesn’t work like that.
I have dated two women because they were interested in me, not for any interest on my end. This makes me sound shallow, but the root of the matter is that I used to unconsciously reflect people’s feelings towards me. If someone was angry with me, I got angry with them and if some woman was attracted to me, I found myself attracted to them.
I doubt this is universal and it has decreased dramatically in the recent years as I’ve come to find more comfort with myself as well as better define who I am, but it was part of who I was for a good while.
– IG
I think I’m the same way, it’s always pretty mutual. If I thought someone wasn’t interested, I lost interest too.
One of the exceptions was my husband. 
When I first met him he was nice, but not flirtatious or I didn’t think acted very interested so I took a dislike to him. Just seeing him annoyed me and yes he seemed less attractive to me.
I met him a few years later and found out he was sort of quiet and not a very flirtatious guy. He also reminded me that I was going out with someone he knew so that’s why. I don’t know why that part didn’t occur to me but it bugged me that he acted so uninterested.
Given my tendency (in my young teen/dating years) to have crushes on guys who later turned out to be gay, I’m thinking no.
No. I rarely have mutual attractions.
I think that when you find someone with whom the attraction is indeed mutual, that’s a good time to get hitched. Generally, in my experience, the attraction is quite lopsided.
I’ve had a few mutual attractions, but they’re not terribly common. Invariably, the guys who seem to be physically attracted to me aren’t the sort I’d be interested in. I’ve dated men who were attracted to me while I was very “meh” and it was, in general, absolutely miserable. We’d get along great, but just them being attracted to me wasn’t enough to put a spark into the relationship and I’d end up getting disgusted with the whole thing.
The few times I’ve had a nice mutual attraction, though, it was awesome, even if the more intellectual aspects might have been lacking. If I ever find someone I share a mutual attraction with that I can actually talk to, I think I’ll have to chain him up to make sure he can’t leave.
I have had only two girlfriends that I believe were truly, physically attracted to me. All of the other women I have had relationships with probably didn’t find me quite as “stimulating” as I found them. Feelin’ sexy makes a difference, the mutual attraction relationships were much better sexually and emotionally.
I gots to if know if I’m a sexy mofo…
Hmmm, if only it were usually mutual. 
Tell us the secret of how to make it so.
Not in my experience. In my experience, guys that I’m totally into find me uninteresting bordering on repellant.
Guys that I have no interest in, whatsoever, totally dig me.
I really need to get myself some of this mutual attraction stuff you’re talking about.
This is a deceptively tough question. I haven’t had a ton of unrequited crushes; in fact, none since 9th grade. Have I modified my strategies so that I only become attracted to men who are attracted to me? Is there a feedback loop wherein I become, subconsciously, more attracted to men when I feel that they like me? Probably. Whatever-- unrequited attraction sucks, so the current strategy works pretty well.
No it’s not always mutual. And mutual attraction is only one aspect of a relationship unless by ‘attraction’ you refer to emotional, intellectual and spiritual attraction rather than just physical attraction. You can have mutual physical attraction with someone who is completely unsuitable as a partner.
I think people place far too much value on this kind of ‘chemistry’. It has been my experience that major attraction can grow from love even if at first you weren’t dying to jump someone’s bones.
It depends how attractive you are. If you’re one of the “beautiful people,” you have a greater chance that someone will feel the same about you. However, if you’re average-looking, or worse, the odds are against you.
I’ve always had excellent taste in men, but I myself am less-than-average looking. So almost all of my love affairs have been totally one-sided. But then I met My Guy, who’s a perfect 10, and thinks I am too. He’s a keeper.
I’ve had a lot of problems with guys who were attracted to me but I wasn’t attracted to them. So not always, no. And since I do be attracted to other guys, my guess is that I’m not just some sort of frigid cow.
In a perfect world maybe. But I will say knowing that someone’s attracted to you will often increase your attraction towards them, unless you feel that person is horribly beneath your standards. That seems to be the case for me at least, as I’ve noticed that when someone seems to be attracted to me, I start to think of them differently, even though I might’ve had a more indifferent attitude towards them initially.
Have you actually been a teenager before? :dubious:
If attraction is mutual, Carmen Electra should be smashing down my door with a battering hammer right about now.
/waits patiently at the door…
(sigh)
Unfortunately, yes. Maybe what I’m getting at is what Rubystreak said–that it’s a subconscious thing when I can tell someone reciprocates the attraction. And that someone who doesn’t becomes less attractive because there isn’t the chemistry of the mutual thing.