I’d argue that it doesn’t carry the same … weight. Certainly don’t see it as much online.
The long and short of it is that you have to put pictures on your profile, ones where a person can see how big or small you are. Do that and you can use any description you want because if they can see the photos they don’t pay attention to the written description.
If there ain’t no pictures, and you say “curvy,” everyone’s going to assume you’re enormous. That may not be true, but it is the statistically logical assumption for a person to make, because everyone else is lying.
You’ve hit upon an interesting conundrum. Yes, it’s almost impossible to describe a girl who is slightly heavier than normal in terms that don’t conjure up images of just plain fat. Yet there are certainly girls with a bit more stuffing than supermodels that look friggin’ hot as! But we have become accustom to describing ‘sexy’ girls as slim, thin, tight-as-a-drum, svelte, petite etc and so girls who are just a bit more filled out immediately get tagged with being ‘not sexy’.
As far as dating site descriptions go, I guess the problem here might be that everybody knows advertisers often dress up serious problems with phrases like “Needs a little work” to describe a car that is an unrecognizable wreck. The term “Renovators delight” of course means a house that needs $$$$$$ and many months of full time work before the local inspectors will even let you live in it. So, if I was a curvy sexy chick and I was writing an ad for a dating site, I’d leave the weight bit out and boast about how much fun you are to be with (assuming you are) and that you’re not a gold-digger (assuming you’re not) and that you’re easy to talk to etc. You might include a short list of things you really don’t like to help eliminate guys you’d just never hit it off with.
Anyway, as a guy, all I can do is tell you that overall shape and body tone are what actually catches my eye. In fact, I was always amused at those old beauty contests where each contestant would be introduced with her measurements announced as she paraded down the catwalk because I could see for myself what she looked like - the measurements were irrelevant. There are thin girls who look plain awful and thick-set girls who make my eyes pop out, but unfortunately, if a girl believes she’s fat and unattractive there is nothing anyone can say to change her mind.
You think guys wouldn’t notice she was dodging the ‘body type’ issue, and immediately assume she was not just ‘curvy’ or a ‘few extra pounds’, but morbidly obese?
FTR, I am not attracted to thin or athletically toned women. “Curvy” or “A few extra pounds” really winds my clock. Who knows what “Average” is…
I know a woman (disclaimer: not romantically) who isn’t fat by any stretch of the imagination. No gut, no stretch marks, no muffin top, no double chin, no cellulite. Nothing droopy, jiggly (excepting breasts), squishy, or soft. However, she’s BIG. Despite being two inches shorter than me (I’m 5’ 10", she’s 5’ 8"), her arms and thighs are bigger than mine, she’s larger around the waist, and she’s wider than me. Huge breasts, too. She’s not muscular, though. FWIW, my ex was 5’ 8", 150 pounds, and I could easily pick her up and carry her, but I can’t budge this woman.
So, what would you call this? Again, she’s not fat, and she doesn’t have a “curvy” hourglass figure despite having large breasts. We’re not talking Christina Hendricks.
elmwood, I’d call her outdoorsy (if she has *any *outside hobbies like hiking) or big boned. Sadly neither word sounds good in a personal ad.
Wouldn’t posting a picture address the size issue, rather than trying to label her in a way that is very subjective?
Thick, solid, or just ‘big’. None likely to be considered a compliment.
She probably has high body fat as well as big bones and some muscles. Some people are just firm - lucky them! Doesn’t mean they shouldn’t reduce their bodyfat percentage for health reasons, in fact a firm ‘beer belly’ is the worst kind of fat to carry for your health. I have slender, small friends who weigh under 120 lbs who have unhealthily high body fat, too.
Sad to say, but without pictures it’s a moot point.