Is it ever bad to be pretty?

[SwimmingRiddles]

*Originally posted by GolfWidow *
**And yes, based on your looks, some people will treat you like you’re stupid. Just yesterday a client was “talking down” to me. I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer (he has done this quite a few times) and I said, “Joe, I’m blonde, NOT stupid.” I caught him off guard; he paused for a second, and then started laughing. My boss found it quite funny. **

Yep. Been there. Except it’s “I’m young, not a moron.” I actually look a few years older than I am (20) and it was always amazing to me the different ways people would treat me: pre-knowing I’m 20 and post. Especially in work situations, when they find out I’m 20, they instantly begin to over-explain things, explain jokes, use smaller words. So I instantly over-compinsate, and use words like over-compinsate.

And as I’ve said before, my older sister is quite pretty. She cashes in on it as much as possible, flirting her way through life. The problem is that she doesn’t know how to be geniune with someone she really likes, because she’s so used to being fake to everyone. But she also uses her looks and that pretty=dumb thing to her advantage, purposefully playing the character they want her to be for a bit, and then switching and being who she really is: smart, verbal and increadibly creative.

But I don’t feel sorry for her.

[Dinsdale]

I think Turp put it well in her most recent post. This isn’t one of those “brains vs. beauty” debates."

Would you rather be stupid and ugly, stupid and average looking, or stupid and beautiful.

Of average intelligence and ugly, or …

Why would you not want to be brilliant and beautiful?
-Cause more drunks will hit on you in bars? Yeah, it’s much better to wonder whether you actually heard that table of drunks bark when you walked by.
-Cause you will not be taken seriously in your job? I question whether this occurs universally. First, as was observed, the better looking candidate is more likely to get hired in the first place. Second, most men I know are pigs, and would far rather work with attractive women than unattractive women. I see looks as opening certain doors, which you can then take advantage of to the extent of your other attributes. Do you really think men in power say, “We really have to take her views seriously. She’s so plain looking.”?
-Cause guys in cars honk, or fellow army men harrass you? See above, i.e., men are pigs, and will honk at just about anything female over 10 years old and under 200 pounds. I would assume any woman in the services would face problems unique to that society, but I can imagine, that is one commjunity in which a woman might not want to stand out in terms of her looks.

Let’s look at the other side of the coin? What options are open for unattractive women that are not open to knockouts? Can’t think of any off the top of my head. But the other way around, your great personality ain’t gonna get you on the cover of a fashion magazine, and won’t give you your choice of sorority to join.

I have never personally experienced the “lonely beautiful girl” syndrome. I do know some beautiful women who have, for whatever reason, gone out with and married jerks. Good looks doesn’t make them immune to bad judgment. But on average, the smart attractive women I have known that come to mind have been pretty darn happy, have not lacked for boyfriends or male friends, and have been successful in business and family life.

IMO, a smart, beautiful woman has the world by the balls.

[Wonko_The_Sane]

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles *
**

And as I’ve said before, my older sister is quite pretty.
**

Swiddles, you’re quite stunning yourself.

[Suo_Na]

*Originally posted by Joe_Cool *
That is true. I’ve dated a number of really attractive women, and most of them use their looks to get ahead in just about any situation you can imagine. Anything from getting free stuff at a restaurant, to getting out of traffic tickets, to skipping lines at the post office.

Maybe this isn’t true for the women you’ve dated, but sometimes the free stuff, etc, is foisted on us. I’ve been given drinks that I didn’t want, been offered a better place in line, all that stuff, most likely based on my looks. How can I refuse without seeming rude and ungrateful?

I think Dinsdale nailed it: who wouldn’t want the perqs that come with being beautiful?

IMO, a smart, beautiful woman has the world by the balls.

From Turpentine:**My friend i was mentioning in the OP has never been thought less intelligent because of her beauty. Her big problem, she says, is that she cannot have male friends because they always end up falling in love with her and when she turns them down they don’t want to be her friend anymore.

Maybe if she did gain 20 pounds she would know better who her real friends are.**

They’d be the ones who’d tell her to lose weight? Yeah, right.

It’s female friends I can’t keep, because (I imagine) they’re all steaming cesspools of jealousy. My male friends (who are numerous) don’t have that problem.

[Turpentine]

From Turpentine:**My friend i was mentioning in the OP has never been thought less intelligent because of her beauty. Her big problem, she says, is that she cannot have male friends because they always end up falling in love with her and when she turns them down they don’t want to be her friend anymore.

Maybe if she did gain 20 pounds she would know better who her real friends are.**

They’d be the ones who’d tell her to lose weight? Yeah, right.

It’s female friends I can’t keep, because (I imagine) they’re all steaming cesspools of jealousy. My male friends (who are numerous) don’t have that problem. **
[/QUOTE]

Your male friends don’t wish to date you first?

It could be that they are just more mature than the males who my friend wishes to be friends with. All of her would-be male friends react childishly when she turns them down.

[Fyodor]

MPSIMS:

I was standing on a corner downtown waiting for the light to change. Beside me are two classy looking young beauties in their twenties also waiting to cross the street. A car goes by in the far lane and an overweight guy with a big black moustache hangs out the window and shouts “heeey, blondeeeeee!”

One lady to the other: “What was that?”

The other: “I think he wants to sell us drugs.”

[DRY]

*Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried *
**But next time I see you on the LA freeways I promise to honk my horn, open my window, wave my tongue in the air and scream “nice but! give me some of that hot stuff!” **

SSSHHH!! I told you, we have to keep our true feelings for each other off of the boards, and on private e-mail.
Your W-I-F-E might suspect! (I already let slip one comment about gay porn in another thread–that I’d prefer watching it to Star Trek V–but I don’t think anyone noticed)

[sub]“wave your tongue in the air”? “nice ‘but’”??[/sub]

[tatertot]

DRY, You’re correcting somebody else’s spelling?!? I feel so betrayed.

Back to the OP, I used to be quite pretty back in HS and college. To be honest, it wasn’t really a problem then, but now that I’m not so cute any more, it stinks. I just feel so ordinary. It’s my own fault for being such a shallow person…It really shouldn’t affect my self-esteem, but it does.

Most of the time, it doesn’t bother me that much, but when I go through old pictures, I just want to cry. I wish I were strong enough not to give a rat’s ass, but sadly, I’m not. And there is no denying, that all things being equal, it’s better to be more attractive. At least as far as how you are treated by the outside world is concerned.

[Suo_Na]

*Originally posted by Turpentine *
**Your male friends don’t wish to date you first?

It could be that they are just more mature than the males who my friend wishes to be friends with. All of her would-be male friends react childishly when she turns them down. **

If they do they get over it. I had one friend who propositioned me very early in our friendship and I was mad at him (it was very improper) for a few months, but then everything was back to normal again. We’ve been close friends for 7 years now. I even modelled nude for him (he’s an artist).

Another friend pestered me for a few months and then found someone else. We’re still friends too, although he still seems nervous around me.

I can’t believe that many men are that immature. Not to slight your friend, but how is she turning them down? Is she laughing at them? Is she the one (perhaps subconsciously) holding them off later?

There are so many variables involved in friendships that I’m amazed any of them last!