It is a trait that a lot of us are not able to possess completely…to a certain degree, yes (like others have stated: It depends on the ‘misdeed’ and whether there were any intentions behind it).
Oh how i wish i could possess the ability to completely forgive those who did me harm. I could do a little of that and not remember it for a while, then it sprouts in the mind on different occasions…and i get the same betrayed/dissapointed/hating feelings i had before.
Of course it is towards a friend that you intend to keep.
Forgive but do not forget. I’ve imagined it would mean just knowing that you can get hurt again so you’d be careful…but not be accomanied by those dreadful, time/energy wasting gut feelings.
Then again it could set you up to being a punching bag for someone who isn’t a friend, but you have to deal with a lot.
In 7th grade, my pretty-much-only friend at the time and I had a spat. He said something extremely hurtful that I will not share here. We didn’t talk for six months as a result (which is a lifetime when you’re 12). We made up, and we’re still friends. I forgave him, and him me. He said it, it sucked, but I’m not mad at him, and I don’t hold it against him.
Each situation is different, though. And there are some situations where you really shouldn’t regain the relationship you once had (like, for instance, if it were abusive). In your case, though, I’d say it’ll probably blow over. That being said, you really shouldn’t have to check in on your friends.
I have no idea whether or not it’s possible to forgive. What I do know is that the question could never even come up unless you found it possible to “blame.” Which assumes a sort of illegitimate ability/right to control/judge the behavior of an other. The only thing you can even theoretically control is yourself. So, yeah. Trust Jesus if you’re that slow.
Whether or not you should forgive that guy? Yeah, of course. The question should be if he can forgive you, if he also thinks in those troglodyte terms.
Just trying to help. I’ll never have a syndicated column, that’s for sure!
Angel of the Lord , you are right “really shouldn’t have to check in on your friends”. So maybe I need to re-examine my definition of friend where this guy is concerned.