All I know the painof breaking up is very real.I will go as far as to say it is tormenting.I also know it is the only reason we are still together for 7yrs.
I have comtiplated on yet again another split up,with hopes of fully ending it .He is a good man but very demanding and gives nothing to the relationship.The only time he is happy is if I am working.He says he has no sexual feelings for me and is dead in that area and hasn’t been a "husband"to me in over 2 yrs and dumbass me has been loyal to him with no outside sexual relationships…
The thing is I have several other men hitting on me and I feel even though I have aged I’m not ugly .
As I read what I have written I must sound like a fool to even consider saying in this relationship.
Please give me your advise.
>> Please give me your advise.
Sorry but we can’t do that in this forum
This forum is for General Questions. Your post is more suited to In My Humble Opinion, I would think.
This may get moved soon. In the meantime, you may find this thread interesting.
Hang in there! Your question is important. Surely someone will move the thread. In the meantime, what do you think you should do?
It is time to end the relationship if your needs are not being met. Being interested in and attracted to others, plus the doubts and disappointments you have shared here makes me think you need to move on with your life.
What are the reasons for staying in the relationship? What are the reasons for ending the relationship?
Good luck. I wish you the best. I hope you have a happy heart soon.
Off to IMHO.
When you start asking people you have never met in an online discussion board if it is time to break up- its time to break up. It sounds like you are already there but you just need someone to give you a push in that direction. Ask yourself, if you and your other were a couple that you knew would you tell them to stay together or make a split?
If an eventual breakup is inevitable, putting it off is just adding to your misery.
Are breaking up and leaving things exactly the way they are the only options, or is there any hope of him working with you to improve the relationship? You say he’s very demanding and gives nothing–what if you just stopped acceding to his demands, or made it clear to him that you weren’t going to give any more to him than what he was willing to give to you? Would he respond apathetically (or worse, abusively), or would he be motivated to change?
In any case, don’t give up your self-respect: do whatever you would respect yourself for doing when you look back on this years from now.
Disclaimer: I know nothing about relationships and do not claim to know what I’m talking about.
Move on, life is too short. It sounds like he doesn’t appreciate you anyway. At least thats my impression I get from the rather short op anyway.
I can’t remember where I read this but it went something to the effect of: “Sometimes people will stay with someone whom they clearly hate because the fear of being alone is even more intimidating to them.” This clearly isn’t a good reason to stay with anyone.
Is he depressed? I’m wondering from the comment that not only does he not have any sexual interest in you, he’s “dead in that area.” Lack of sexual interest is supposed to be a sign of depression, which is treatable. You say he’s a good man, and that seems like the biggest issue you’ve mentioned…
I think the depression angle would be a decent one to check into. Ask him if he’s willing to go to couple’s therapy with you.
If he’s not going to try anything and he’s ahppy wih you being miserable…well than he doesn’t actually love you and its time to move on.
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Being loyal to someone you are in a committed relationship with is not dumb. Continuing the relationship when he doesn’t seem very interested isn’t dumb, but it probably isn’t a good idea.
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Other men are not the issue here. The issue is your relationship with your husband/boyfriend. If you decide there is nothing left in the relationship to work for and end it, then you can start considering dating again.
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If you don’t want to be in that relationship anymore, end it. Sometimes you gotta just rip that ol’ bandaid off. It sounds like you have very little interest in this man any longer.