I have been negotiating incorrectly at my car repair shop for years. I am so delighted to have this information.
To the OP: I think it’s ethical, but it’s probably not legal, in most states. I don’t even think it’s exploitative if the woman in question has made the choice to make this deal of her own free will and nobody is coercing or blackmailing her into it. Personally, I’d strip for extra cash before I’d prostitute myself, but hey. You do what you gotta.
To those who think it’s only ethical if she propositions the mechanic: I don’t know about that. I think if he proposed the deal, she said no, and then her refused to fix the car (for some other form of payment) or blackmailed/coerced/forced her into it, that would be unethical on his part. But proposing a commodity for payment isn’t unethical. Having sex with a woman doesn’t take anything away from her. He could just as easily propose that she give him $300 to fix the car instead of giving him head. As long as she’s free to turn down the deal, I fail to see why this would be unethical on his part. Unless he’s trying to make the deal from behind the counter of a repair shop, in which case, a cash transaction should be proposed first. My assumption is this is a shade-tree mechanic deal: just two people bartering services.
Warning - old joke ahead. A lady decides to fix her broken bedroom door. She goes to a hardware store, explains what her problem is, and the clerk tells her she needs a new hinge. She picks up a hinge and heads for the checkout counter. The clerk yells after her, “Do you want a screw for that hinge?” The lady stops, walks back and says, “No, but I’ll blow you for a toaster.”
Meanwhile, if this sexual/mechanical transaction takes place at a private residence then it’s no harm/no foul. If the mechanic is using company time, tools, or parts to fulfill his part of the bargain, and he doesn’t replace or make good the companies contribution, that’s considered theft. Is it worth losing your job? There are also the issues of disease, pregnancy, and blackmail to consider.
Well…I may think you’re very attractive and sexy, but might not sleep with you because:
I don’t want you to think I’m a slut or easy. Like it or not, the standards are still different for men or women.
I really like you and don’t want you to just sleep with me and leave me.
I only think you’re hot but you have a horrible personality.
I meet you in an environment that is not suitable for making my wants known. For example, I have an ironclad rule against dating ANYONE I meet through work. So if I meet someone I really like I won’t pursue it. I don’t need my coworkers gossiping about it.
I may think you’re hot but may think that other guy over there is hotter and if I sleep with you then I won’t get him.
I may think you’re hot…but casual sex doesn’t really do it for me, and a lot of women are in this situation. I’ve heard men say “bad sex is still sex”…for women, bad sex is often horrible. If I am going to risk disease, pregnancy, and whatever else, I’d like to at least have an orgasm, and that is not guaranteed with casual sex.
There’s probably more but that’s what springs to mind.
California Rules of Professional Conduct for lawyers prohibit the exchange of legal services for sex. As for auto mechanics and women needing car repairs, I’d say the issue is one of morality, not ethics. And it is none of my business.
I don’t think it’s that much of a hijack, really. His attractiveness or lack of isn’t necessarily a key plank of my argument - the point is that the only difference between last week’s “Uh-uh, ain’t gonna happen, no way Jose” and this week’s compliance is that this week she wants to score a sizeable chunk of free stuff. That rather leads me to go :dubious: at the validity of whatever excuse was being offered last week.
(But on a definite hijack, let me assure you that some men are perfectly well acquainted with bad sex being unredeemed bad sex tyvm.)
-What if the woman welches on the deal? The man doesnt have much recourse if they initally agreed repairs/help/etc for sex but the woman changes her mind. Whats he going to do, take her to small claims court?
-Even if the sex is gonna happen, what gets included under ‘sex’? A man’s offer might be, “I will paint your living room. I’ll bring my own paint, drop cloths, and brushes.”. But “sex” is kind of vague. Do I get sex for the same amount of time? Is it intercourse? Anal? Clothes on or off? Is she going to lay there like a dead fish or actively participate?
That makes no sense. How does that make the excuse last week dubious?
Week 1: I don’t want to have sex with him because X.
Week 2: I really need something done. He is willing to do it for sex. I have something I can trade. He does, too.
It doesn’t change the validity of last week, and SURPRISE! Women can change their minds about sex! Hell what if last week’s excuse was “I am in a relationship” and this week’s excuse is “He dumped my ass and I desperately need these repairs and can’t afford it.”
Nothing has changed. She wasn’t attracted to him enough last week to have sex with him, and she isn’t this week, either, but she’ll do it for money. That’s how prostitution works, doesn’t it? If they gave it away for free to every man who asked, they wouldn’t get paid. Prostitutes are paid to have sex with men they wouldn’t otherwise have sex with for free.
I don’t understand why we have to be so consistent anyway! I should never, ever change my opinion or it might make my previous opinion wrong? Maybe if I am changing it every week!
Yes, I understand that. See post #54 for why I don’t see where this is such a great deal for Mr Mechanic, still less why accepting would make him a sleazeball.
Mr Mechanic: “Here’s what it’ll cost ya. How about you peddle that tail on the open market, where you’ll get a better idea of what it’s worth, and I’ll spend what you pay me how I like - such as helping me get in the pants of someone who’ll enjoy it?”
And I trust you’ll be consistent in your view that women should be viewed as flighty flibbertigibbets?
Yeah, I understood you the first time. But many men, maybe most men who would accept such a deal are far more concerned with the attractiveness of the damsel in distress. So far you’re the only man who mentioned unpleasant reality of the deal? But prostitution has been around forever, proving that some men aren’t concerned with being mutually desired. Vagina is a product, and in the case of this transaction, that’s all it’s required to be.
Please explain to me in little tiny words why changing my mind makes me a flighty flibbertigibbet.
Hell, in that case, I should still be with my first boyfriend! Cuz I changed my mind about sleeping with him! And that makes me a flighty flibbertigibbet! Even though I’ve been with my SO for…seventeen years now.
In theory I’m fine with a mutally-agreed arrangement.
In practice, the circumstances under which such an arrangement involves no power imbalance, duress or coercion are severely limited. And I’m including “I need to get my car fixed and I can’t afford it except via sex” as a form of power imbalance.
You’re starting to remind me of a character in a book I read years ago. Three people are stranded on a desert island and the man is trying to persuade one of the women that they should light a signal fire…
Melody: There’s no point. There aren’t any ships there to see it.
Jim: There aren’t any ships at the moment. But…
Melody: How do you know there aren’t any ships at the moment? There could be one on the other side of the island right now, where we can’t see it!
Jim: :rolleyes:
Melody: Don’t you dare roll your eyes at me when I’m right, or I’ll throw this bowl of stew in your face!
My sentiment is hardly less accurate for its brevity. Your posts in this thread reveal a marked inability to keep your personal issues regarding women and their perceived inadequacies from influencing the way in which you interpret the words of other posters. It makes for a read that is at once depressing and amusing.
