Is it wrong to ask your kid to get you a beer from the fridge?

My sons 4yo btw.

The other day I had my GF over at my place and I also had my son over at the time. Well anyway I was siting on the couch, chating up my GF and drinking a couple of beers. I had finished my beer so I asked my son to go grab me one from the fridge. My GF was like “ACK! YOU CAN’T DO THAT!” She then jumps up runs to the fridge and got me a beer.

So what do you think? is this a bad thing? I remember I use to do this for my Dad when I was young; and look how I turned out. [pssst… cracks open another beer… BELCH]

I asked my Mom about this and her only response was “GET UP OFF YOUR LAZY F#CK’N ASS AND GET YOUR OWN DAMN BEER… Geez!”

I’d agree with your mom. Your child is not your servant. If he were getting himself something from the refrigerator and you asked him to bring you something at the same time, that would be one thing, but to just send him because he’s there and it’s convenient for you is inappropriate.

Of course, at his age, there’s no reason why he ought to be rooting around in the refrigerator on his own anyway. He’s a small boy. You’re the parent. You are supposed to be fulfilling his needs, not vice versa.

Your phrasing, saying that he was “over,” would indicate that you do not have full custody of the child. Were I you, I’d give long thought to the whole picture you’ve presented here. Why were you sitting around with the girlfriend, quaffing beers and having the kid act as a junior manservant instead of spending your limited time together doing something that would benefit him?


I personally have no qualms with it, so long as you get the next one yourself and pick up one for him at the same time.

If you can’t use them as little slaves, then what’s ther point in having them?

Oh man, when I was little I absolutely loved to grab a beer for my dad. At that age a boy looks up to his father, so doing anything together or for him makes him feel useful. But I also used to make a gin & tonic every night for my mom too, and thought it was the coolest thing. I’m curious, what exactly is your girlfriend’s objection?

I think it depends on how the kid was asked. I mean…

“Go get me a beer” “Why?” “Because I’m your father and you have to do what I tell you to”

is a lot different from:

“Would you (please) get me another beer from the fridge?”

The first would bug me a bit, the second is entirely different to me.

Well, when I was a kid I used to get my grandma beers all the time. So did my brother and sister. Grandma walked with a cane so we did a lot of errands for her – getting her purse for her, or a Kleenex, switching the channel for her, etc. I didn’t see a problem with it and don’t see a problem now. As far as kids not being servants… well, yeah, they aren’t servants – they’re members of the family and I guess I don’t see a problem with hollering out, “Hey! Will you bring me a beer (Coke, Kleenex, my book – whatever)?” to a family member.

OK, tlw I think you need to back the bus up just a wee bit. You know nothing about me nor do you know how much time I spend with my kid.

I think I have to some what agree with The Great Unwashed here (metaphoricaly of course) My Dad told me “90% of why I had you kid is so I could have a remote control!” This after much protest from me after he would call my in from my bedroom to the livingroom just so I could change the chanel for him!!

peepthis I’m not really sure what the objection was, all she would say is “little kids shouldn’t be handling beer!” :dubious: Whatever, its not like I was feeding it to him.

I’m also like you though peepthis I used to love to do stuff for the ol’ man.

Four-year-olds love to feel useful. As long as you’re not taking advantage of this, I think it’s a good thing to ask them to do small favors for Dad or Mom sometimes.

As for kids handling beer - it’s in a closed container, so what’s the fuss? Actually almost every preschooler I’ve known has asked for, or snuck, a sip of Dad’s beer… once. And then never tried it again. Very amusing for the adults, no harm done to the kids once they get that taste out of their mouths… :smiley:

I was stirrin’ up Manhattens for my parents when I was about 8… I thought it was great fun, and I appear to have grown up OK.


On a more serious note, why in the world would it be any more damaging to ask your child to get you a cold drink from the fridge than any other chore? Kids are part of the household; we all share chores. I also agree with Lsura - context means a lot. If you asked your child to get you a beer with all the same respect and politeness that you would have asked your wife or girlfriend to do the same, then no problem. If you barked “Get me another beer, floor monkey!” at him, well, you have more problems than this thread is prepared to deal with.

I always used to get my dad (and any house guest) a beer out of the fridge…alcohol was not taboo in my house and I loved to be the gopher.

of course this was when he was working hard out in our garden or on a car, or in the garage tinkering…not when he was just sitting around

<tongue in cheek>

Well damn! I guess I’d better stop asking my kids to make my dirty martinis for me! (maybe THAT’S why they kept forgetting the vermouth…)
I don’t see a problem with a kid getting a beer. So-the-F-WHAT! Now, to ask a child to get your cigs is a whole 'nother nasty beast…I would call THAT a no-no.

I used to get my folks beer or tea on a regular basis, until I was old enough to foist those tasks off on my younger siblings.

No problems with it.

My wife used to ask the kids to get her a beer…until I taught them how much fun it was to shake up the can before giving it to her.

She gets her own now.

My dad’s favorite trick when we were kids: We’d all be sitting around in the living room watching TV. He’d look at us with concern or alarm and say “Hey, quick, stand up!”

We’d jump up, looking around for the gigantic spider or slimy slug or alien creature we were certain stood poised to jump on us. Then Dad would say “While you’re up, go get me…”

I didn’t see it as a big deal. Still don’t. Besides, it went both ways - if he was coming in from the kitchen and we asked him to bring us something, chances are, he would. Anyway, bringing Dad a beer isn’t a big deal. I remember going to the store to buy cigarettes for him when I was like 9 or 10. Of course, in the mid 60s, the laws were different.

Now that made me laugh out loud… think your mom has some issues, here?

At 4 years old, your kid might not realize the difference between “home rules” and “outside rules.” It’s okay for your kid to get you a beer at home, but if you’re at a picnic or at somebody else’s place, your kid notices you’re out of beer and goes to get you another one, you could be in a shitload of trouble.

My only concern at home is that at 4 years old, the kid might drop it, which would be a waste of beer.

It’s no big deal. Girfriend has fallen into the dreaded “why isn’t anyone thinking of the children” thing. It isn’t fatal if treated early.

I used to ask my kid to walk on my back. There’s something about fat little toddler toes grinding into your spine that is better than a truckload of chiropractors.

I’m pretty sure my dad (who spent several of his formative years in Japan and Germany, and thus escaped the typically puritanical American attitude about alcohol) asked me to fetch beer from time to time, and I seem to have grown up unscarred. IMO, the kid is more likely to develop an excessive interest in beer if it’s treated as a Big Forbidden Thing.

Oh wait (realizes contents of fridge include four different microbrews) … I do have an excessive interest in beer. Never mind.

I’d still say it’s not a big deal.

Wow. Assume much? Even if he doesn’t have his son full time there is nothing wrong with having a few beers. He didn’t say he was sitting there getting shitfaced.

Junior manservant? That is ridiculous. If a kid can’t do something as simple as fetch a beer, then I’d say he’s spoiled.

As long as you let him have a sip, then there’s nothing wrong with having your kid get you a beer.