Last month I picked up a nice little job as a concierge. It’s quite wonderful in every way. There’s no manager breathing down my neck, I have an open online connection to play with, there’s tons of downtime, and it’s in a stress free environment. Also, we get restaurant gift certificates for referring restaurants, free tickets to theme parks, free tickets to dinner shows, and discounts at certain smaller, more casual, restaurants.
I know where this board stands on using a coupon on a date, but if I’m given $80 to eat at Texas De Brazil, Moonfish, or Charley’s steakhouse…is it really so wrong to use this on a date? I can understand not using a three dollar coupon for not wanting to look cheap, but at the same time…hell, Moonfish is Moonfish. The food there is amazing. Why should I pay $45 for a decent meal on a date when I can get a much better meal for a girl and I for free?
If these are legitimate perks of your job, I say go for it. Your date doesn’t need to see how you’re paying, since in most nice restaurants the bill is delivered discreetly in a little leather folder. You can put the payment in there just as discreetly and she need never know.
That said…I wouldn’t use these coupons as a way to impress your date with a financial situation you do not have. But, if after a few months of dating, you want to treat her to an extra-special meal, that’s fine. But don’t pretend to have money falling out your ears if you don’t.
I would actually make it part of the invitation – “Hey, I scored two free meals at Fancy Ass Restaurant – wanna check it out with me?” Because frankly it makes me nervous when a guy spends a shitload of money on a first or second date. Nice restaurant, sure – nicest restaurant in town, uh…
For a girl and me. Why are people not using such a fine word? It has purpose.
And yeah, there’s nothing wrong with using those things. You’re not going to be waving them at her, are you? (I suggest only doing that with your underpants.)
YMMV, of course, but I’d definitely use the coupons and be up front about it.
I would imagine that your date would be more comfortable with being treated to an expensive meal if it’s at a discount to you, where you’re sharing in your good fortune with her instead of coming on heavy with the red carpet treatment.
It also depends on how old you are…as a rule of thumb, if you’re under 30, then I’d say that there’s no need for any stuffiness regarding coupons, etc.
ETA: Well, I don’t believe in being stuffy about taking advantage of discounts unless it’s a VIP or formal occaision or something anyway…
As long as you’re not violating any rules of your employer by doing so, go for it. (I say that because I work in civil service, and we have really strict ethics rules about accepting freebies from vendors and such. That’s one of the few things we could get censured or even fired over.)
Totally agree. I would feel so much more comfortable knowing he wasn’t spending outside his means. It would actually make me think you had a pretty cool job. But I have no qualms about coupons, if I saw a guy use a coupon at a restaurant I’d think he was smart.
I wouldn’t do it. Taking someone to a nice place and using coupons to pay? No way. Just doesn’t sit right. Either you can easily afford to take a date to those kinds of places or you can’t. If you can’t, don’t do it with coupons you scored somewhere.
Use the coupons on your own, or with your aunt Min, or share them with your parents/friends/siblings, or use them to butter up contacts for future employment, or something, but pay for your dates.
I have no problems with using a coupon either. Unless your date is paying for half, it really is none of her business how you pay for it. But your should be discreet and not tll her “Oh, you can’t order that, the coupon isn’t good for it”- that’s being cheap.
That’s what I would do, too. Nothing wrong with using your job to make yourself more attractive - everybody does that (with jobs, cars, education, whatever you have to offer). I would make it my business to try to get dates for every freebie I can lay my hands on.
I vote for telling her you scored a gift certificate to X, and would she like to join you. Even at those places, it’s not like you’re going to be spending $80 on “dinner for one.” The restaurant will also appreciate you introducing someone else to their food–that’s the spirit in which they are giving you the perk. As long as you don’t try doing something phony, I think you’re fine. Plus, if you’re up front about it, any girl who is not OK with it can turn down the date. And maybe that’s a sign the two of you aren’t compatible. Because if you’re getting all these gift certificates, and you’re not taking her, who will you be taking?
I would agree if this were a first date. But once you’ve been dating for a few months, and she’s seen your financial limits, I see nothing wrong with it. Ivylad and I have been married for more than 18 years, and you better believe if we get a gift certificate/coupon for a restuarant, we’re using it.
Well, after a few months, sure, you know each other pretty well, and you can relax some. After 18 years, the sky’s the limit. You can bring home leftovers from a corporate lunch, toss 'em on the table, belch, scratch yourself and say “Honey, I got dinner tonight!”
