Huh. That doesn’t sound too unlike having PTSD. I suspect most sexual dysfunction involves some kind of performance anxiety that reinforces the same dysfunction.
OP, it does sound like your boyfriend has ED or some libido issue he is too embarrassed to talk about. This is where you love him unconditionally, reassure him that you are there forever (assuming that is the plan), and tell him your suspicions instead of forcing him to come out and say it. Some things are just really hard to talk about. I suggest you approach this as a problem the two of your are facing together rather than a problem he has or something he is doing to hurt you. He really needs to understand it’s not his fault, and will probably need to hear that a lot.
Yes, if you are really, literally together 24/7, one or both of you needs to get a hobby. Or a job (and if you both work from home, take your laptops to separate Starbucks locations).
well, I’d suspect that is the problem. He’s stressed due to the move and the lack of friends. Nothing kills the libido like stress. However, the fact that you’re asking here instead of asking him hints at some deeper issue.
If you two are talking marriage, live together, move to the same city together, you should be able to talk about sex together. Sex is just sex. Talk to him about it like you would cooking and cleaning. Some chores have to get done. You both have needs it’s okay to honestly share with each other.
This is silly. Many men are still quite attracted to their girlfriend/spouse of any number of years. And many men are attracted to easy sluts. The ease or difficulty of obtaining sex is rarely going to affect someone’s level of attractiveness, except for a few guys who have some sort of fetish for “the chase” or “conquest”.
I’d be willing to bet most guys agree with me. You could maybe start a poll. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, being willing (or even better: enthusiastic) to have sex with me is the #1 sexiest trait a woman can have.
Not as cute as registering on a messageboard to spin a tale of slightly titillating romantic travails to a bunch of strangers in order to elicit their advice. That’s super-cute.
C’mon, people.
Edit: you know, maybe that’s not fair. The OP may not realize that we periodically have a rash of new usernames who do this, who come on to the board with a brand new story about their love life, complete with a few titillating details, and they tend to disappear pretty quickly, giving the appearance that they’re not on the up-and-up. The OP would be well-advised to distinguish herself from these sort of posters (or poster) by instead hanging out for awhile, participating in threads that aren’t all about her, behaving in a manner consistent with someone joining a community. If you then eventually spin your tale of slightly titillating romantic travails for us, it’ll be easier to take it seriously, once we know you.
Others have already said it, but it needs to be stated again: 24/7 is too much for many relationships. It would be for me, and I know that it would be for my partner.
Also, watching porn/masturbating shouldn’t kill your sex drive, or desire to be with your SO. I should know.
This situation will not change.
If his diminished/intermittent libido is new, he is getting some elsewhere.
If it’s always been this way, it’s how he is wired.
Either way, if you are unhappy with the status quo, break up.
It will never be different over the long haul.
He’s bored of you and probably experiencing the quarter-life crisis. It happens a lot and I can guarantee you that pressuring him to spend more time with you (you already spend too much time together) will backfire. He feels trapped and has become apathetic.
It really has nothing to do with you, FYI. Guys go through this.
