suranyi
August 25, 2014, 11:12pm
61
even_sven:
Basically my friend wants a guy who works in her industry, has the same interests and passions as her, and is geeky in the same way.
That stuff would all be nice, of course. But I think it would benefit her more to have a open approach. There are a lot of great, attractive, loving guys out there that may have other interests and may not be as intellectual as her, but will treat her like a queen. Basically, my advice is to look at foundational compatabilitt first and then worry about the shared interests.
I think you are right. I am a software engineer with degrees in science and engineering. My wife is an elementary schoolteacher with degrees in art. Imagine if we had restricted our search to people who shared common interests. We never would have met. (We do have some common interests, but they are subtler. And of course we have foundational compatibility, as you say.)
fjs1fs
August 27, 2014, 2:00pm
62
Aeschines:
By the way, I have 5 or so friends now, one of whom is a best friend, that I met on OKCupid.
I also know couples who met there. If you are in a high-population city, it will probably work for you.
My theory about the “death spiral” is for medium-sized to smaller cities. For example, the Indy metro area is about 1,000,000 people. So 500,000 of either sex. When you think of the number of people who are 18+, straight, single, and want to date (for straight guys like me), that number is going to be a lot lower. I doubt one could expect more than 1% of the population to be on the site, so that would be 5,000 female profiles tops. I have estimated that there are about 2,000 people who fit pretty lax search conditions on the site (24 or older, non-smoker, non-drugger, 100 mile radius, online in last month). So that is pretty close.
The thing is, that is not that many people. If one is picky like me (I want a certain type of intellectual Bohemian woman), then it’s just not a lot.
Further, it’s not a very big number to maintain a critical mass. If the site gets unpleasant for women (and no doubt it already is to a lot of them), that number can drop pretty quickly, and then that city is effectively “dead” as far as the dating site is concerned.
I don’t think OKC is “dead” for Indy yet, but it does seem much worse than in the past.
Looking at the numbers makes a lot of sense. So think about it, if there are 2,000 people fitting your “conditions,” how does that compare vs. a bar/mall/laundromat at any point in time? I’d say it compares favorably vs. all of the above–which is why online dating exists.
Loach
December 3, 2014, 4:52am
65
Well I started this in MPSIMS and it took me here. This one isn’t that old I’ll leave it up to the IMHO mods to see if they want it kept open.