When you ask a guy a question like that, there’s a reason he’d be afraid that it’s going nowhere good if he answers it. The open-minded, completely non-jealous women on the SDMB notwithstanding, apparently there are women in the world who get upset if they think the guy they’re with has found another woman attractive. Hard to believe, I know, but there it is. My SO’s ex who he dated before me would freak out if she thought he was “looking” at another girl, so he’s been conditioned to be reluctant to have conversations about who’s hot. I make whatever observations I want and he’s free to comment, though he rarely does. Maybe he’ll get over that someday.
“I suppose. She’s not really my type.”
“Why? Are you considering a three-way?”
I started this out as an honest joe. If she was pretty, I would state it plainly and, being that my fiancée is a little insecure, it often resulted in stupid arguments or pouting or whatever. :rolleyes:
I’ve since learned that it’s okay to say a girl is pretty, as long as the setence has this tacked on the end “…but not as pretty as you.” with a hug and/or kiss.
Really, why do women even care? It’s like you think we’re looking to double deal you. Seriously, if a guy were trying to do that (and I’m certain not), he’s probably not going to mention the girl at all.
“Yeah, but she’s got [minor flaw].”
“She’s OK, but she’s not in your league.”
“Not really.”
The only time I’ve ever actually been asked the question in the OP, while she wasn’t specifically angling for one, at that time, this was definitely part of it. (She also, BTW, disagreed with me on the girl in question.)
If honesty is such a turn-on in your relationship, try telling your beloved that you actually find a lot of women better looking than her but they were out of your league and seeing other men so you settled for her as she was the most attractive woman who you figured you had a chance with.
I don’t ask, but I do like to point out women I think are pretty, just so he can enjoy it too. I also point out men that I think are hot, but I don’t think he enjoys that as much. People are just interesting to look at.
Female, 48 here.
1.) Yes, but not regarding coworkers or female friends, only regarding exes.
2.) I don’t want the guy to try and find the “correct” answer. In fact, guys trying to do that in any situation drives me NUTS! Just tell the truth, don’t try and second guess me and answer based upon what you THINK I’m thinking, or what you THINK I want to hear etc.
3.) If he said “no, she’s not pretty” and she was, I’d wonder why. Is she not his type? Is he trying to second guess me and answer what he thinks I want to hear?
You didn’t ask this question (at least I didn’t see it). Why do we ask it? I can’t answer for other women, but for me, it’s because I know that looks are a top priority for a huge number of men (at least at first and for many, for good). If she was really pretty and he still dumped her etc, it gives me a little insight into him (if I don’t know him well yet).
Of course it’s not going to open a book on the guy and all he stands for, but small hints about a person’s priorities do help.
Of course, since as you mention, most guys don’t answer honestly, but simply try and get the “correct” answer, this probably isn’t really helpful huh?
