That’s what’s wrong with society nowadays. Abortion should not only be allowed, but encouraged.
D’oh! I meant to say that I’m in no way saying the majority of teenage pregnancies are the result of failed birth control. I’m saying that just because a teenager gets pregnant, it doesn’t automatically mean they’re irresponsible and stupid all of the time. There are exceptions. It does happen. You won’t admit to that.
[sub]and no, I’ve never been pregnant[/sub]
Oh and while I was agreeing with Dio I have to say, I have been pregnant twice (one child one abortion). Both times I was on the pill. I have had an IUD for some time now and long may it continue working.
1.) I don’t think minors should have sex at all. I think young adults should be more careful and selective. I’m not a fan of casual sex or polyamorous lifestyles. I think people should be in monogomous, loving relationships before they have sex.
2.) You keep trying to find exceptions as a means to belie the rule. Yes there may be one or two percent of teenagers who get pregnant through failed birth control and there may be one or two percent of those who are capable of parenting a child. That still leaves a whole heaping majority of unprepared or irresponsible parents. The odds are decidedly against teenage parents being successful and teenagers should not be encouraged to get married and have babies. What’s wrong with saying that?
Nothing much as far as I see…except that many teens will have have sex! They just have to be responsible in that decision and realise that if they do and that ends in pregnancy then their life is no longer the most important.
BTW, I just want to say that I’m sure the OP loves his kid and is trying to be a good parent. I was just trying (originally) to say that he shouldn’t be surprised if people are worried or dubious at first because so many teenagers are bad parents…not usually deliberately mean or abusive, just in over their heads.
Actually no, I was taking it. It was part of my morning ritual with breakfast (or just before when I lived with Grandma as I didn’t want to offend her sensibilities that I was taking it despite not having had sexual contact with anyone up until a month before I moved out. Ahh fun… an adult but still getting the ‘facts of life’ talk from Grandma…)
I’d say that there is quite a difference between abortion and unmarried, unprotected sex.
With abortion I’d be killing a part of myself emotionally as well as physically. I know that I, personally, would not be able to live with myself knowing that I once had a child growing in me and I chose to destroy it before it even took it’s first breath. I watched a school friend go downhill after her second abortion and turn suicidal. We would skip class just to stay with her on bad days to make sure she didn’t step in front of a bus. Now I will not say anything against women who do choose to have an abortion. I feel that that is their choice, and if they can live with that fine. They have to live with that but I for one most certainly will not.
Now if you are having completely unprotected sex, well I’d say your a fool. But even protection fails sometimes. Yes from silly mistakes, or not using it properly, but even when used properly it can happen. And as to married sex… well so what? Even if your 30 and just having your first kid that doesn’t guarantee that the marriage will last much longer. You may end up a single parent anyway! What really pisses me off is how some people assume that if you are married that makes it all good. That doesn’t always work that way! I’ve seen single 20 year olds who are better parents than my own ever were who had kids at 30 and got divorced at 40. My dad’s current girlfriend was married when she had her son, the father was gone before he turned 1 and he hasn’t seen him since!
It’s really funny how some of my family thinks that if I was married everything would be fine. That’s their only problem with the fact that I am pregnant. I’m sorry I’ve known this guy for 2 years he’ll make a good enough Dad but married to him we’d kill each other within a week despite having been roomies for a year out of those 2 and yes lovers for a time. Shame he’s in love with another woman and plans to marry her.
I’m going to get flamed for saying this but I don’t think it’s particularly wonderful for middle aged people to be cranking out children. 35 is way too old to be single or have kids, especially both. If I see a middle aged woman with a baby, I think she fucked up and was irresponsible, who wants kids at that age? Call me judgemental, I don’t give a shit. Most healthy young people have a hard time parenting children, much less frail geezers (and the OP may be an exception but 99.99% of all middle aged people suck ass as parents).
It’s perfectly normal for a healthy young woman to be surprised or distressed at the thought of two old people putting a defenseless young infant at greater risk of Down’s Syndrome and the instability inherent with the greater mortality rate of middle aged people. Way to go putting infants at greater risk of a disability and orphan them early in their lives because of your selfish desire to have children late in life. This is why I encourage abortion among these people.
I of course don’t mean a word of my above post. I made an attempt at satire to illustrate my point, namely that judging young parents as unfit simply because they’re young is grossly unjust. Yes young people can be bad parents, perhaps it isn’t ideal but it’s not an ideal world and as the product of a teen pregnancy (who’s mom and dad did a great job) I think that Diogenes’ injunction against teen pregnancy (even ADULT teen pregnancy) is a bit much.
Oh and ftr I am 20, almost 21. I was able to vote (and did) almost 1½ years before I lost my virginity. I have been a legally responsible adult for almost 3 years now. Of course I live in Alberta.
Oh Flutterby I agree that age or marriage does not make sure it will work out, but it probably makes it more likely. As stated above I am a (long time member) of the solo mum club. My membership was bought on by death (no dad to chase for visits or child support) but I am think fairly safe in saying that being a sole parent is not the preferable option, ever.
As to your abortion opinions…we all have different veiws…I prefer to think I saved a child not killed one 
Then you are not a teen…and I hope all goes very well
Not that it’s terribly anyone’s business, but like Obsidian Butterfly, she was on the pill, taking it regularly, and got pregnant. Dio, you seem to feel an abortion is a simple matter, but it is a heart-wrenching decision to make and some women can’t go through with it. You and I cannot understand fully what it is to be pregnant. Sure, there are women who see having an abortion as flushing a parasite out of their body, but there are also women who see pregnancy as a huge responsibility and an abortion as a moral failure to themselves and the fetus, and pro-choice or not, they can’t go through with it. It’s not a decision I would wish on anyone.
So, Dio,, did you have sex as a teenager? Were you using every form of protection available to you? Did your girlfriend(s) have any pregnancy scares? What would you have done if your girlfriend had gotten pregnant? What if she hadn’t wanted an abortion? Would you leave her to fend for herself, look down upon her as naive and stupid for not using birth control “properly” and not having the guts to have an abortion? Would you care at all?
Nice post lokij
Judging by what he said, yes I think he would care.
And I hope both of you continue to be wonderful parents
And I should add that, in talking about how women feel about abortions, it’s not a one-or-the-other decision. There’s certainly a lot of different decisions and feelings in-between the two extremes I gave as examples, and I don’t want anyone to think that I’m assuming all women who have abortions see it as the “parasite-flushing” option.
calm kiwi, that’s your opinion. I can certainly see how you would think that and maybe if I was raised differently I might have been willing to consider that route. It can be tough to shake off a lot of the RC ideas dropped into my brain from a young age.
Age and marriage can make things easier, I won’t gainsay that. It’s just I’ve had my share this summer of my mother’s RC family (those that know anyway) disapproving of the fact that yeah I am pregnant, yeah I am unmarried and yeah I am planning on keeping my baby. Somehow keeping this tidbit of info has been forbidden to be talked about. My mother wasn’t ‘allowed’ to tell her siblings that she’s gonna be a Grandma and nor was I allowed to even mention the fact around my cousins because obviously I will be a bad role model. I wonder what they are gonna do when I come for a visit with a baby? Explain to my cousins that I’m what… babysitting?
Blah I seem to be tossing out a lot of personal info on here but like I mentioned above, I was discussing similar stuff with my father already today and it kind of touches a sore spot with me.
I know I am against teenage sex and I didn’t have sex when I was a teen, but when you keep getting the ‘too young’ shit tossed in your face you just wanna freak and ask them ‘Well how the fuck old SHOULD I be? 30? 40?’ mumbles a bit about hormones and probably a good idea to get some sleep before she really flips
Good, because you can actually find the women that fits that description I would love to know.
Remember you posted hating stereotypes
IF you can that should have been.
Actually, it was a girl I was talking to at school… She said she definitely couldn’t be pregnant, didn’t ever want to be pregnant, and would view having an abortion as getting rid of a parasite and wouldn’t think twice about it if the need came up (though, from what she said, she used as much protection as she could and hadn’t had a pregnancy scare or abortion yet).
And I didn’t mean to stereotype all or most women who have abortions as viewing them that way. But it is something I have heard.