I think we are all here out of avoidance of some other task. It’s the only logical explanation.
Like I said, IANAP. You’re probably more accurate with the NPD assessment, though, now that I think about it a bit more. APD has several indicators regarding criminal and financially irresponsible behavior which he has not claimed to have exhibited.
Well, I have as much expertise as you do. I think we have unanimously concluded that there’s something mentally unhealthy going on.
I don’t know Shag. I can offer speculation on what your motivations are (I haven’t read all 5 pages yet obviously, ain’t nobody got time for that).
[ul]
[li]You crave the validation this gives you (possibly because it helps compensate for some deep seated insecurity)[/li][li]You crave the sense of interpersonal power of having all these highly desirable women falling for you[/li][li]You have intimacy and commitment issues and as a result are a serial dater who takes off when someone gets close[/li][/ul]
I’d guess one of those 3 things. I know for me when I was younger I spent (wasted) a lot of years chasing female validation. I had a lot of unresolved emotional issues I hadn’t dealt with, and I dealt with the feelings of inadequacy and rejection by chasing female validation. The problem is once I got it, I’d lose interest in the woman. I regret that for various reasons, but in large part I regret it because now that I"m almost 40 almost all the good women are taken. I chumped out the best years of my dating life chasing validation to fill an empty hole in my psyche while all the decent women were being scooped up by men whose priorities were better than mine.
Now I’m older and would happily date decent women, but decent women are mostly all taken at my age. The women my age who are on the market, by and large, either are looking for the top 5% of men and will not settle, or there is something wrong with them (or both). I’m open to being wrong, but I don’t think I am.
Ah well. I do envy your success though. I really do.
While we’re at it, what does her being on her period have to do with the absolutely innocent kissing you’re trying to retcon this story into?
I still want to know how he’d feel if one of his daughters came home and told him that her “friends” did this to her. But I suspect he’d rather not think about it.
He was talking about two different things in those quotes, although I was initially confused as well because in the second one he rather abruptly changes the subject. The “I didn’t do anything wrong” bit was in reference to the “Jewish heiress” from the OP who had ghosted him, but oh-so-conveniently got back in touch with him just as this thread was turning against him to let him know that it totally wasn’t his fault that she’d fallen out of contact.
However, I do think the only lesson he has learned with regard to his tale of sexual assault is that people here don’t admire him for it the way he expected. After being told again and again for nearly a decade that what he did was wrong he’s able to parrot that back to us, but he’s also told us again and again in this thread that he doesn’t understand why people here are so outraged by a “prank”, that what he did was harmless, and that if there’s anyone we should be feeling sorry for it’s him.
I’m sure if well-intentioned Dopers keep trying to help Shagnasty become a better person then he’ll eventually learn to more convincingly mimic remorse and empathy, but I do not believe he actually possesses the capacity for either.
I’ll add here that, based on what Shagnasty has told us about himself in this thread – e.g. “I don’t even consider real sex to be the goal. I just make out with one and then move to another within days if they stop responding” and he’s “good at subtly manipulating people to do what I want” – I do not believe that the sexual assault “prank” was really his friend’s idea. I guess it’s within the realm of possibility that his friend had a full-blown cuckold fantasy and constructed an elaborate scheme to bring it to life, but that doesn’t seem very plausible. It seems vastly more likely to me that Shagnasty wanted to make out with another guy’s girlfriend, didn’t care about her consent, and managed to manipulate the friend into believing that switching places during a make-out session and never telling the girl would somehow be a hilarious joke.
Oh, I have thought about things like that. I have a shovel. What people aren’t realizing is that I am sorry that I ever did that but I can’t change the past and never expected it to work the way it did. It was teenage stupidity rather than predatory behavior that some people like to assume. I am just as confused about it as anyone and never meant to cause any harm. I thought it was a prank that would end before it ever got started.
Bzzzt. Wrong answer.
At 17 you knew full well that it was predatory behaviour, but you did it anyway. Your excuse is that it was teenage stupidity, but just because you were a teenager and you were stupid does not excuse that you knew damn well that sexual assault was wrong but you went through with it anyway.
The same goes for your assertion that your friend pushed you into it. He wasn’t putting a gun to your head, now was he? Just because your buddy verbally encouraged you to sexually assault a young woman does not in any way excuse your action against her.
Hey, Fuji, that was an excellent summary, but you missed these gems:
[
](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=20409906&postcount=523)
[
](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=20410411&postcount=532)
I particularly like the part about him objectifying his daughter.
Oh, and for those on the correct side of “you’re screwing up your kids”, we have this admission:
[
There was nothing AGAINST anyone. This was rural Louisiana in the late 80’s and very early 90’s. We did stupid stuff all the time to just to keep ourselves occupied. It was just how things worked. You can’t apply the PC standards of today retroactively. Times were very different back then.
Let me give a different example. When I was 16, a very pretty 23 year year old from Texas took a liking to me a whole lot to the point of just showing up at the supermarket I worked in after school to make propositions. I actually liked her but there was the age difference thing. She finally convinced me to go out with her and got me drunk on cheap wine. I went to rest on her couch and woke up with her on top of me trying to make out. I obliged and we made out like honeymooners until I had to go home and could barely drive because I was still so drunk. That was illegal on so many levels but you know what the damage was? 0% - hey, free 23 year old. Do you think I am ever going to get any sympathy for that? Of course not because I don’t need any.
Now reverse the sexes and imagine how it plays out. It is all about perception.
See if this rings true, Shagnasty:
That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if was, it isn’t that big a deal.
And if it is, it wasn’t my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did…
You deserved it.
You still haven’t explained how your totes innocent smoochies and huggles deception was affected by her having her period, what not-quite “actual” intercourse meant and how in the world anyone in their right mind can describe your 20-minute pure-as-the-wind-driven-snow kissy-face session as “a lovemaking session”?
You gonna keep avoiding answering? If so, just say so.
“And I’m so proud of it that I’ll repeatedly tell the story to others, for years and years.”
Timely call:
It was just a make-out session in an extremely dark room. That meant lying in bed and kissing with clothes on. Nobody would think that would ever work, me included, but it did somehow against all expectations. I was just trying to figure out how to be convincing until I could reverse the situation back again. She is the one that mentioned her period and thank goodness because I was a virgin at the time.
I couldn’t even speak because that would have exposed the whole thing. It is terrifying to be in that situation especially when you don’t know what the motivation is. I just wanted to get out of it without anyone finding out and we managed that somehow. It certainly wasn’t fun on my part. It was just a really odd experience and that is why I wrote about it. I never expected that story to follow me for decades.
People these days love to call it “sexual assault” but, in this case, it means that two people kissed for a while in a friend’s bed. It may be wrong but the term “assault” seems to be more than a little bit of overkill.
Apropos of nothing, Louisiana does not have a Statute of Limitations for forcible rape, and for all other sexual offenses it’s 30 years unless there’s a DNA match - that starts a 3 year clock ticking.
Huh.
That apparently meant ‘kissing and light petting’ and you without your shirt on. Please try to keep your multi-posted story straight.
People might have left it at skievy were it not for the fact that, thou dost repeat and thence protest too much.
You’re a narcissist. You’re incapable of admitting to being wrong without qualifications and justifications.
‘Why does this story I’ve been telling for years keep getting discussed by the people I keep telling?’ 
:smack: