No $14.95 till s/he coughs up the calamari.
In the time, may I offer you a mean little goat?
Welcome! 
No goats till s/he coughs up the $14.95.
In the meantime, may I offer you a little calamari?
Welcome!
[Chico Marx]
An’ a-two hard-boiled eggs.
[/Chico Marx]
Hello **Big Willie Shakes **be welcome. Enjoy your stay.
This is quite a welcome for someone who hasn’t even paid the $14.95 yet.
No $14.95 until the calamari coughs up <ahem>…
In the mean time, though, may I offer you to our goat?
Here, take a straw. We’ll explain shortly
!emocleW
?iramalac elttil a uoy reffo I yam ,emitnaem eht nI
.59.41$ eht pu shguoc eh/s llit staog oN
Do you recommend the calamari or the goat?..The combo?..Okay, here’s $14.95.
The calamari has a mind of its own these days. Please, try the kimchee.
Screw the calimari- might we offer this person an Echolalia over shaved ice?
<—flees rapidly
I have only one word to add to this goofyfest—
squck
Hey! No initation till s/he coughs up the $14.95!
We could offer some refreshments while we wait, though.
Who has the lively Italian cheese?
I can’t help but notice it still says “guest” under the OP’s name.
Meaning $14.95 has not been coughed up.
OTOH, my cat coughed up a hell of a hairball this morning.
No welcome until
the calimari coughs up a goat!
Hell with it. Here’s $14.95 
Hey! That would be a new dish-on the concept of turducken!
Goat stuffed with calimari would be:
GOCART! :eek:
Did I hear a SQUCK?
Nah. That was only the echo of a duck’s quack.
Big Willie Shakes, I’d say you got your initiation in the Pit earlier.
By the way, the goat’s gotten into the calamari again!
Oh, and there are some guys from Homeland Security asking about the kim chee. Someone hide Triskademus. It seems the bail fund’s $14.95 short. 
“Trebuchet? Why no, that’s just our own, homegrown anti-terrorist device.”
Welcome and enjoy. It’s a great place to waste too much time!
CJ
Link, please? I couldn’t find anything obviously relevant.
Gah!