The dress code strikes me as odd, but nothing more. However, charging for parties in a private house, unless it’s a fund-raiser for a charity, is right out. Pot-luck or BYO is fine, especially among close friends or poor graduate students, but charging is really tacky.
Yes, it is.
Definitely rude.
If you’re strapped and you want to host a party, there are ways to go about it that do not include charging a fee to your guests - pot-luck, BYOB, etc. - are all perfectly acceptable alternatives. However, if you really want to have a formal party, you most certainly can’t expect your guests to give you money for the honor of attendance.
If it’s your party, there is no polite way to require your guests to pay for attending. If you require your guests to pay for attending, you’re not throwing a party, you’re operating a restaurant (or bar or club, depending on the sort of party).
Weird and tacky. And double-tacky for doing Facebook invites for their “formal” party.
Oh, wow, that is so tacky and rude. I think the only response is “I’m sorry, but in that case we won’t be able to attend.”
Totally agree. I wouldn’t even have a problem with the dress code, since I can see thinking it would be fun to have a dress-up party, but charging admission is absolutely over the line. Are they the sort of people to whom you could say, “Dude, wtf?”? 'Cause I think it might be a kindness to let them know that what they’re doing is tacky and rude.
It was bad enough from your OP, but from your later post they sent out an invitation, waited for people to pencil their party in, then added the price list? Way beyond rude. I’d politely decline - unless I was in a bad mood, then I’d accept the invite, order food and booze, then call them 20 minutes before the party and tell them I found something more interesting and cheaper to do, so I won’t be attending.
Yeah, why don’t they just have a potluck or something, if they can’t afford to make all the food themselves? Asking guests to pay a cover charge for a party you’re having in your own home is extremely tacky.
All I can think of is a commercial I saw recently, where a woman was commenting on another woman, “Who are you? Tacky Onassis?” Charging admission for a formal party = Tacky Onassis.
I find the request for money appalling. I wish I would’ve realized a few years ago I could make a profit from my annual Christmas Party.
Every year my SO and I have a Christmas party for our friends. Some family members come too as well as a couple of coworkers. We usually have anywhere from 10-25 people. We pay for everything. Why? It’s a little gift, showing our appreciation to our friends for their friendship throughout the year. Also, we live in a college town so some of our friends are students or faculty who can’t always get home for the holidays so this gives them a place to celebrate with people who care about them. We tell them not to bring anything. Some of them still do and their generosity is much appreciated.
We haven’t always been able to really afford it in the past but we budgeted for it because it’s always such a fun evening. (We just dropped $100 for the beer for our party.) We don’t have a dress code yet everyone still manages to put on nice , yet comfortable clothes. Who wants to play Trivial Pursuit or Cranium in a sequined gown? 
(Not there’s anything wrong with parties that call for formal attire)
Now, we have little parties throughout the year too, and these are BYOB and a dish but if they run out of their beer, we will always have extra and they are free to have it.
I hope you find something better to do that evening.
It would be one thing if everyone got together and decided to have a party and pitch in to buy food and booze and they volunteered to host it, but this seems rather tacky.
Northern Thalia, If the party thrower would not recognize you through your SDMB user name, it would be interesting to email them a FYI email with a link to this thread! Consider it “fighting ignorance”. 
Wow, I reread my post. Now I see what happens when I try to type in between countless interruptions. Sorry if it’s somewhat unintelligible. :smack:
I missed the edit window.
I think you need to reframe the question. An invitation is something issued by a host who is someone who wishes to offer hospitality to guests who are people who partake of hospitality. Charging admission make you not guests but customers, it makes them not hosts but proprietors or promoters, and it makes what you received not an invitation but an advertisement. I’d say you should do with it whatever you normally do with junk mail (which I hope is recycle it, but I’d understand if you just throw it away).
As a side note, depending on the laws in your state, charging admission like that to a house party may very well be utterly illegal, as well, because they’re selling booze without a licence.
Rude? Of course.
Tacky? Indeed.
Would I pony up the dough anyway, and go? I sure would.
Would I bring Tupperware, and load up as much food as I can carry? And bring a cooler to put booze in?
You bet your bird, buster.
Ewww. That is bad.
Right now, the spouse and I are broke - dead broke. But, we have the best house amongst all of our friends for get-togethers, and we love having people up here. We throw about a party a month, I figure, and it rarely costs us over about $20. Our friends know we have no money, and we can’t go out to dinner these days, so they all bring food.
Potlucks are your friends! If those folks want to make it fancy, they will just have to wait until they have saved up for it, IMHO. Maybe it is because they are younger… do they understand that you don’t charge friends for the priviledge of hanging out with you?
Same.
The attire doesn’t bother me in theory (depending on how, when, and where the request was worded)
But they should have the party they can afford, not expect their guests to pay for it.
I’ve honestly been toying with the idea of strapping on my way over the top, quasi scandalous prom dress, donning a tiara, and bringing some tupperware, to ensure I left with my $15 worth.*
The formal attire doesn’t really bother me that much, I guess it just bothered me that it was tacked on afterward. BTW, it’s a red and white formal wear party. I don’t know about you, but most of my formal wear ranges in the black/darker colour schemes.
Sigh. I’ve been talking to other invitees about it, and they all agree. Not to the point of mutiny thought. Not yet… evil laugh
*Disclaimer: I would NEVER actually bring Tupperware to a party… Tiara might be another story
I think you all getting your panties in a bunch. $5 and $15 to defray the costs of food and drink. They are going to have to through a pretty crappy party to be making money with that low of a cover charge.
The rudeness depends on the financial state of the people throwing the party. I personally would not charge for such a party now because my wife and I both have high paying jobs. But when I was just starting out or still in school contributions from the attendees was pretty much the rule. It usually was byob or pot luck unless the host went out a purchased a large amount of food and drink.
If you can’t afford to feed and booze your guests, you can’t afford to have a party.
I don’t have a problem with different parties having different dress codes. I would put on an invitation “cocktail attire requested” never say anything is required but it may be the only way to let your guests know what kind of party it is. I would like to be warned of such things before I show up in a tshirt that says “cum dumpster” on it (yes I have one…don’t ask)
You can’t make it out to seem like you are having a cocktail party then pull the old bait and switch by charging admission like its a frat house kegger. Mail the person a check with a note that says “we won’t be able to make it, but it sounds like you need this more than we do”
Oh yeah, then flip them the bird.