A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed.
Just then, his wife sleepily sat up and said, “Mike, dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I’ve got a splitting headache.”
“Certainly, honey,” he said, and feeling his way across the dark room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.
As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, “Say,” said the druggist, “I know you - aren’t you a policeman? Officer Fenwick, right?”
“Yeah, so?” said the officer.
“Well what the heck are you doing all dressed up like the Fire Chief?”
A computer programmer is riding a bus. The man next to her asks, “What stop do I get off at to get to the civic center?”
“Just watch me,” the programmer says, “and get off two stops before I do.”
“How can I do that?” the man asks.
“Easy,” says the programmer, “it’s a 2-pass algorithm.”
A physics student bumps into Einstein on the train, and asks “Excuse me sir, but does New York stop by this train?”
A physicist, engineer and mathematician are sleeping in adjecant hotel rooms. The wastebin in the phsyicist’s room catches on fire. He calculates the exact volume of water needed to put the fire out, gets the required amount of water and puts the fire out.
Then, the wastebasket in the engineer’s room catches on fire. The engineer calculates the amunt of water needed to put the fire out, multiplies it by a factor of ten, gets more than the amount of water he’s calculated, and uses it all to put the fire out.
A little later, the watsebasket in the mathematician’s room catches on fire. He wakes up, notices that there’s a sink with running water, and a glass. He convinces himself that theres a solution, and happily goes back to sleep.
–
Zen: The thermos flask keeps warm things warm and cold things cold…
Three friends from med school meet at their 10 year reunion and decide to go duck hunting the next morning.
When they arrive, the first, a general practioner, says that they must be careful to shoot only ducks because of the game laws. At that moment some unidentified birds fly overhead.
the second, a surgeon, stands up and blasts away with his shotgun, downing one of the birds.
After the dog retrieves the fowl, he turns to the third, a pathologist, and says, “Is this a duck?”
