Deniability.
Availability!
Is someone dropping Christmas hints? 
You can’t wipe off a vibrator and serve it for dinner after you played with it.
Bingo. You can’t claim that the vibrator is just for “decoration” when your mother/kids/whoever find it.
I am sooooo not coming to your house for Christmas dinner.
A couple of days ago I read a pit thread about a kid who was arrested for looking for his Christmas presents early. And all I gotta say is from the train of thought that followed from the combination of those thoughts is:
eww ewww eewwww ewwww eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!
Fresh Off the Boat???
For the squash lovers among us, might I suggest looking for a long necked butternut? Safety first, people!
Frieght on Board. Seriously. What, you thought the professionals weren’t laughing in the break room? This is funny shit, even if you can’t crack a smile in front of the patient. If overheard, they’d probably lie and say “Foreign object in the body”.
However, in a hospital it can also stand for “foot of bed” or “father of baby”, leading to acronym hilarity when Mr. Johnson said the wrong thing to his wife during labor and delivery.
(I’m making that last bit up. But it would be funny, wouldn’t it?)
Word must have got out on the retreival experience. Your in for a flood now.
You can if you bought it in Texas because it will have a little gold sticker on it that says, “This item is sold as a novelty item or a cake decoration only.”
The sticker is to help the store and its customers comply with the state law that makes it a felony to be in posession of more than five dildos and/or vibrators at at time.
So, picture if you will, a lady celebrating her 40th birthday. Into the room walks her friends carrying a cake with 40 upright Rabbits in various colors with little lit candles stuck to tips, singing, “Happy Birthday to you.”
Now, I’d think you could stick up something lonf, thin & sharp to reach & pierce the squash’s skin, then insert a tube into the squash to suck out its innards & collapse the outer skin which could then be withdrawn.
Although you are probably correct with Foriegn Object in Body, FOB by lab terms (he said he used to work in the lab) can also mean Fecal Occult Blood, as in testing for the presence of hemoglobin in stool samples. Just another piece o’ trivia.
I thought it meant Friend of Bill.
I used to have a collection of such accounts, gleaned from places like the Darwin Awards website forum. The really cringe-worthy story I’d heard was about a military doctor who was presented with a young man facing complicatons from an UTI.
Since this young man had been previously treated for such a condition (one of the social diseases, I’m not sure off the top of my head which one) and had heard that the military’s policy was that the treatment of recurring STDs would be done without benefit of anaesthesia he chose to attempt self-treatment. This particular UTI causes a great deal of itching in the urether, and after a series of experiements, our brilliant young man discovered that a length of rusty :eek: wire provided the best itching relief.
Unfortunately for him, he got a little overenthusiastic, and the wire ended up knotting in his bladder - so he couldn’t get it out.
FWIW, the way I recall the story, they did give him painkillers while treating all his various ills.
Seriously, I think a lot of these kinds of incidents are due to failure on the part of sex education and reluctance to talk about sex. See, I heard about the flared-bases thing but from other gay people when I was still learning what’s what, not from people in authority.
Squash is organic and thus more natural.
You know, seeing the date on the OP makes me realize some poor people are so lonely and depressed this time of year, and need something to cheer themselves up…
Well, so I am stupidhead! And I ain’t stinking something up my butt in the hopes that I’ll feel any better!
Sometimes, it amazes me how a typo can add so much more humor to a post. 
I volunteer at a hospital-I’ve been around when the laughing starts. I’ve even participated.
Sorry, I lost track of this thread. I’ve never been able to figure out the exact words behind FOB except for “Foreign Object, Body.” Adding “in” makes sense. FTR, fecal occult blood was usually referred to “occult blood” where I worked. OB was reserved Gynecology and Obstetrics. It was funny looking at the Pathologist’s final report, as it was a very dry "Object retreived from patient NN’s [orifice of choice] was a(n) [object of unfortunate choice] measuring [sometimes mind-boggling dimensions] extracted by [MD who was trying very hard not to bust a gut laughing]. "
Vlad/Igor