It finally happened - after 3 years in X-ray!

Yep, the gold standard of Radiology was finally attained a few weeks ago when a patient presented in the ER with a “foreign object in the rectum.”

A guy came in with a vibrator stuck inside him so far he couldn’t retrieve it.

The ER docs placed a flexible tube up past the ‘object’, inflated a balloon on the end of the tube, drew it back, and retrieved the vibrator.

It wasn’t foreign at all. It was made in Illinois.

Then, one week later, a different guy came in with a rubber dildo well-buried in keisterville. This, too, was ‘delivered’ without complication.

Twice in the space of a week!

Now, all I have to wait for is the fruit/vegetable/Coke bottle in the vagina, and my career will be complete.

What, no gerbil?

The question is, was the vibe still running?

Not my part of the body, (I work with the lungs and the heart) but we had a guy come into the ER about 5 years ago with a broken glass thermometer in the shaft of his penis.

And I’m here to tell ya, that shit STINGS!
[sup]What?? Why’s everyone looking at me?[/sup]

That’s beautiful. clap clap clap

I had a kid in the er, early adolescent, let’s call it the age of discovery, get a hat pin so far down his urethra that we had to have the urologist get it out with a fiberoptic scope

They still make hat pins? Gosh!

Congratulations. Keep on the watch, you may yet make the full grand slam .

Y’know, this could be turned into a “helpful hint” selling point at sex shops – have the sales clerk recommend the dildos with the sumulated testes at the base, as less likely to slip past the point of no return…
As to the lads sticking things up their urethras, specially sharp things or glass things: :eek:

Most online sex stores adominish their patrons to only use dildos with flared bases for anal penetration for just that reason.

…er…so I’ve heard.

Hah! I used to work in Pathology (i.e. the hospital lab), and we’d see the FOBs come in every now and then. The best and most frightening was an aquarium lightbulb (decent size and shape, but made of thin-wall glass :eek: ). Otherwise it was usually a vibe/dildo.

Vlad/Igor

:eek:

Okay, just READING that had me screaming for my mommy! (And **I’ve ** been around the block! Okay…to the corner, then!)

And, Rysdad, I second what **beowulf573 ** said–that made in Illinois bit was genius! :smiley:

Hey! I’m tryin’ to EAT here! :wink:

Over the summer I saw a woman come into the ER with a plug-in air freshener stuck in her vagina. The bast part was she came in with her husband who had no idea what was going on, although he had been in the house with her at the time.

You know, this is funny if you imagine something strange and sexual led to this situation. But, it’s downright hysterical if you imagine she had that “not-so-fresh” feeling and didn’t grasp how the plug-in air freshener worked.

[Wimpers in sympathetic pain. Covers crotch protectively.] I can’t even imagine what would inspire a guy to do this. Up your ass, sure, but up your urethra?! :eek:

I don’t even want to think about the hat pin guy.

FOB?

I’m still waiting for the Matchbox car.

We had someone a few weeks ago with a squash where the sun don’t shine. Longer and wider than a pop can. Surgeon almost had to cut his bowel open to get it out even after patient and his sphincter were completely relaxed in the OR.

Suggestions to heat the patient up in a 350 oven, and “lube” it out with brown sugar and butter were poorly received.

I must be tired - I thought that was a hysterical suggestion :slight_smile:

Jeebus people. There’s websites with VERY cheap and a lot safter toys to play with. What does a squash have that a ribbed and bumped, waterproof purple vibrator with three speed settings and an easy grip base doesn’t have?