It was sooo hot...

My cousin Darren sent me this. He lives in Clovis, CA (I live in Clovis, NM – cool coincidence, huh?). Clovis, CA is in the Central Valley (a.k.a. the Sacramento Valley) of California. It can get rather hot there. I liked the following, since much of it applies to living in NM:

You know you’re in the Central Valley when. . .[list=1][li]You have to explain to company from out of town what animal “Tri-tip” comes from and that it’s indigenous to the area.[/li][li]You buy salsa by the gallon.[/li][li]You think a red traffic light is just a suggestion.[/li][li]All your out of state friends start to visit after October, but clear out before the end of April.[/li][li]Most of the restaurants in town have the first name “El”, “La” or “Los”.[/li][li]You think 6 tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.[/li][li]You notice your car overheating before you drive it.[/li][li]You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.[/li][li]You see more irrigation water on the street than in the river.[/li][li]You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.[/li][li]You can say 115 degrees without fainting.[/li][li]A vehicle with open windows has right-of-way.[/li][li]People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70.[/li][li]In July, you discover you only need two fingers to drive your car.[/li][li]You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.[/li][li]The pool can be warmer than you are.[/li][li]You can make sun tea instantly.[/li][li]You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.[/li][li]People with black cars or upholstery are assumed to be out-of-towners.[/li][li]Hot air balloons can’t go up; the air outside is hotter than the air inside.[/li][li]You realize that Valley Fever isn’t a disco dance.[/li][li]Water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as water from the hot water tap.[/li][li]It’s noon in July, the kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving in the streets.[/li][li]You actually burn your hand opening the car door.[/li][li]The best parking place is determined by shade instead of location.[/list=1][/li][/quote]

I live in the San Fernando Valley, part of Los Angeles, about 8 hours south of Sacramento. And I can soooo relate to everthing on that list. Especially:
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
In July, you discover you only need two fingers to drive your car
You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of location

It was so hot, I saw a racoon boiling a robin in a birdbath.

It was so hot, I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both melting.

It was so hot, a moron was walking by a corn field and the corn started to pop and fall on him. The moron thought it was snowing and froze to death.

What’s tri-tip? (I’m asking this in the interests of fighting ignorance, of course…)

The musculature of a deceased bovine, treated with fire. Generally considered yummy.

Ah, thank you. A handy desert food…

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside…at 7:30 a.m.

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The trees are whistlin’ for the dogs.