Cosign. People make too big a deal about colds these days. It’s not heroic to go to work with a cold. It’s not tragic to catch one.
I once kept going to work for almost a month with pneumonia. I just thought it was a nagging cold that wouldn’t go away. My wife finally made me go to the doctor when I could barely walk and I could heat our apartment with my fever. The doc said a couple days longer and I’d have been pushing up daisies. A cold? Feh. I laugh at a cold.
I worked exactly the same job as the OP’s daughter, at the same age, and endured endless abuse from patrons. I also used to work for thirteen attorneys, one of whom once threw a coffee cup at my head because he misdialed a number and thought I must have put it down wrong. I could go on, but the point is, I know all about shitty jobs, and I still think it’s unprofessional to cry at work.
However, LifeOnWry indicates this is not a normal part of her daughter’s character, so I’m cool with it. Of course everybody has moments of weakness or unprofessional lapses or whatever in their lives sometimes. As long as it’s not a pattern, then it’s just human.
Probably not, since you’ve already called him out on it.
No worries, EE. I wouldn’t bother posting about someone making her cry if that was routine.
It’s just not cool to take your frustrations out on a ticket-taker at a movie theater, especially when you can plainly see that she’s already not having the best day ever. It’s petty, mean and low. And I want to punch the guy, but since that is neither reasonable nor possible, I’ll settle for having him cyber-eviscerated by a group of sympathetic strangers.
I’ve seen people cry at work. A lot of assholes out there. Have you worked … much? In more than 1 or 2 places?
I’ve been working since I was ten years old, thanks for asking. I’ve seen people get upset and excuse themselves and return looking a bit red around the eyes, but just bursting into tears in front of the boss and so on, no. I have not worked with many eighteen year old girls, however.
You know where it starts? From kids using any little excuse not to go to school, and their parents calling it in for them. “Bumpykins has a widdle headache? Well, even though your group presentation is today, the one I haven’t seen you work on or rehearse at all, and even though that test that you never studied for is today as well, you better stay at home.”
LifeOnWry - I salute your daughter and your parenting skills in teaching her responsibility.
But, yeah, work on the crying thing. 
In twelve years of working in bars and restaurants, I’ve seen lots of co-workers cry. Some for no reason, some for legitimate reasons.
The only person who has ever made me cry was my manager. A table of two well-dressed fortysomething men walked their tab. It was over $60 bucks. My manager said I had to pay it or I would be fired. He said I should have been “watching them more closely.” I had a billion tables and was working my ass off.
I was so angry and upset that I hid in the bathroom and cried.
I was around 20 or 21 at the time.
Nobody told me I was “disgusting,” though, nor did they call me stupid. And I wasn’t sick. Just pissed off. And sometimes when I get really really angry my (unwanted but inevitable) response is to cry. I can’t be the only woman in the world who has this response.
I don’t blame the OP’s daughter at all for crying. Even though I bet she’s probably upset with herself for letting the asshole see how effective he was at ruining her day. I’ve had to go to work sick, and I work with food and drinks; if it’s either that or lose my job, the “public health” ain’t gonna win.
True enough. And [TMI?] when I get really, really, really angry, I weep like a little baby. And I’m a dude.[/TMI]*
Never happened at work though. But I can totally understand that stress can lead to tears. It’s not so much whether the tears come, as its what you do about them, that should count in judgments of character. IMO.
-FrL-
*I am basing this on a sample size of one, however.
Slightly o/t - I remember one incident from my restaurant years - a female supervisor with whom I was friendly was having a horrible day, and out of character for her, hit me with a reminder that shit rolls downhill. I was in her way at the wrong time and she snapped and yelled at me in front of other co-workers, as though I was an errant child. I was furious, but finished out my shift and kept my bitching internal. At shift’s end, she was in a better mood, but I was still full of unexpressed rage, so I went into her office and said, “I do not appreciate being spoken to that way, especially in front of others.” To my utter mortification, I could not stop the tears from welling up and I said, “And damn it, my feelings are not hurt, I’m crying because I am MAD AT YOU. And the crying is making me madder!” She said, “I KNOW! I cry when I’m mad too. I HATE that.” And we both started laughing.
We did resolve the issue, apologies all around, but I STILL cry more when I am furious than when I am sad or hurt.
Another important data point: 18 year-old girls, sick or not, cry a lot more in May than any other month. Graduation, Prom, Baccalaureate, senior awards . . . it’s an awful lot of emotional crap. Everyone is finally deciding where they are going to college and that’s a roller coaster in itself, as it suddenly becomes real that lots of people that have always been around will be gone and you, yourself, may be heading off somewhere all alone. People start breaking up with high school SOs and suddenly distancing themselves from old friends. Add to that 4-8 AP exams, and the kids are just totally insane right now. Happens every year.
IIRC, by law, they cannot make you pay for theft, or the like.
As far as crying goes, do you really think people WANT to cry? It can’t always be controlled. I usually just say I have allergies, and that usually does the trick.
(And the only time I call off anyways is when I’m throwing-up-sick, have a fever, or having seizures.)
I cried when I was working at a concession stand at Six Flags. It was a trillion degrees, the mosquitos were feasting on my bare legs, and everyone in the world was lined up in front of my counter. I was all alone. So when the syrup for the diet coke ran out, I was screwed.
A guy asked for diet coke, and I politely informed him that I had just run out. Now, I don’t blame him for being mad. He’d been standing in line for a long time, and like I said, it was really hot. But without a way of calling for help, there was nothing I could do but direct him to the nearest place where he could get a diet coke. He flipped out and cussed me out worse than you can imagine. The horribleness of it all (the heat, the mosquitos, the mile-long line in front of me) was just a little too much and I started to cry.
You know what was the cherry on top of it all? My nose decided right then that it wanted to bleed. All over my uniform, grossing everyone out. Fortunately, the next person in line was this nice old lady, who told me it was going to be alright. My boss happened to stroll by and rescued me.
Customer service just sucks.
I’ve had to shut my door or go into the bathroom and cry a number of times at work, usually out of frustration or anger. I have actually been witnessed crying three times, twice by my boss and once by a whole mess of people.
The first time I got absolutely chewed out by a client. I thought I was the last person in the office, so when I hung up I put my head down on my desk and had a cry. After a few minutes I realize my boss has come up behind me-- to tell me that he had no idea from hearing my side of the call that I was having my ass handed to me, and complimented me of being proffessional.
The second time was during a migraine. I was too far gone to go home, so my boss offered for me to come sit in his office-- and he turned the lights out. I had some urgent work to do that no one else could do. Staring at the screen made the pain worse, so I sat there for about 20 minutes to finish it, tears rolling down my cheeks while I worked. In respect of my dignity, the man did not say a word until I was done, then asked if he could drive me home. (Said boss later gave me his office, and sat in my cube, so I could get out from under the fluorescents)
The third time was when I broke my foot. It was my first day back at work with the cast, and I didn’t want to take my precription pain killers so that I could concentrate. I was tolerating the dull agony (I do get migraines after all) when I moved too fast and banged my foot against the sidewall of the cube. I’ve never actually felt blinding pain before, but there it was. I’m sitting in the chair bent over, clutching my leg, just bawling. Attracted the attention of half the office, including the CEO. I was mortified.
Back when I worked retail, I was sometimes insulted by absolute asshole customers. It was entirely worth it when they’d lay into me, and then demand to see a manager. The look on their faces when I leaned back and yelled “Dad!” was always priceless.
Holy Crap! :eek:
You don’t mean permanently do you?
In any case, I hope that has had all kinds of promotions and raises and whatnot.
-FrL-
I do mean permanently. He sat in the cube farm for 6 months before another office opened up. We had a whole discussion about it, and he said, “Look, for you this is medical. For me it’s just ego. Take the office.”
I got him a very nice bottle of scotch for Giftmas. He’s an awesome boss in many ways other than the office thing. Our team of four has the highest revenue-per-head in the office, so everyone is well rewarded.
I’m a grown woman, and by no stretch of the imagination an habitual weeper, but I’ve cried at work three times. Each of those times was in front of my boss.
The first was nearly fifteen years ago. I’d been sick for weeks (just a bad cold, but it Would. Not. Die.), I was exhausted, and miserable, and strung out on Robitussin, and a customer was giving me a world of shit, which my boss overheard. He came over, took the phone, and said to the guy “I’m SoAndSo, the owner of this company and the only person here who makes enough money to deal with your shit. Not coincidentally, I make enough money that I don’t HAVE to deal with your shit, so I’m going to refund your money, remind you that it never gave you the right to abuse my employees, and ask you to take your business elsewhere. Have a nice day.” He then hung up the phone, patted me on the back, and said “That guy’s an asshole. There’s not a thing on earth you could have done to make him happy. Fuck him.” And I cried. My poor boss was freaked out, and I was mortified, but I’d been there a while, and we both recognized it for what it was, a bizzarro blip, not a nervous breakdown.
The second time (different job) was when my much-beloved boss got fired. I cried as I was helping him clean out his office. I’m not remotely embarrassed about that one.
The third time was just last year. I was going through a horrible period in my personal life, and my work had suffered, and I was feeling miserable about myself in general. My boss was (quite rightly) frustrated with me one day and (very unusually) yelled at me, and I just lost it. That one I’m still *horribly * embarrassed by. It was an excruciatingly uncomfortable situation for the rest of the day, let me tell you. He felt like an asshole, I felt like an asshole (*and * a moron), and I’m just glad that we had worked together long enough for him to know that I’m not a person who generally *cries * when you yell at her.
No, legally, they can’t. But like a lot of things in the industry, it happens all the time and if you want to keep your job you do it. It falls under “Pay it or we’ll write you up for it, and if we have to pay it, see how quickly you’ll accumulate other write ups while your schedule and sections go to shit.”
Three write-ups and you’re gone, of course. And that’s if you make it that far.
I hated waiting tables.
I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one who cries out of rage, though! 
It’s really hard to hold onto your dignity and your point when your voice is going all high-pitched and squeaky. I wish this happened to men.
LotW,
Get your daughter this little book. While the rude customer completely failed at #1 and #3, your daughter did a wonderful job at #4…but needs to realize that #2 is the key to handle people who do not know how to express themselves properly.
Do many more people treat customer service workers poorly nowadays? I waited on my share of assholes back when, but it seems like they are everywhere now. I also don’t remember ever seeing ill-behaved customers when I was a young kid. Maybe I’ve just become more observant. Opinions?