No. Quite definitely.
Because you are aware of the problem, and that’s half the battle in outgrowing a dysfunctional upbringing. The first time you hear in dismay your mother’s voice coming out of your mouth, you will pull yourself up short and think, “Wait. What’s happening here?” And you will re-think the situation, and you will fix it, because you are an intelligent woman, and you have the mental toolkit to do so. And because, as I said, you are aware that it’s a problem that needs fixed. If your mother’s voice came out of your mouth and you didn’t realize that it was not-desirable, then and only then, would you be in danger of raising the Mouseling the way you were, undesirably, raised. But knowing that you want to do things differently puts YOU in control of your mother’s voice.
Actually, I would say that you are more in danger of leaning too far in the other direction–your mother was meddlesome and interfering, so you’re in danger of doing too much hands-off “I will mind my own business” parenting, which sends the message to the Mouseling, unfortunately, that you don’t care what she does.
So basically the line is drawn at, you meddle in her life only to the extent that you’d meddle in Mr. Mouse’s life. If Mr. Mouse picked up his car keys and started out the door, you’d be entitled to ask, “Hey, where ya goin’?” and, “What time will ya be home?” But you wouldn’t be entitled to give him the third degree. Nor would you be entitled to give him the third degree when he got home, “Who else was there? Did you go…anywhere else? [suspicious look]”
And if Mr. Mouse decides he wants to wear an orange Hawaiian shirt with blue Corona boxer shorts to work, you are entitled to one neutral “Umm…” as he heads out the door, but you are not entitled to jump all over him and have hysterics at what he’s wearing, and then go out to Wal-Mart and buy him an entirely new wardrobe and insist that he wear it.
And if you saw Mr. Mouse peering into the gas tank with a lighted match to see how much gas was in there, you’d holler, “HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!” and you’d knock the match out of his hand. And then maybe you’d read him the riot act about being a dumbass. But you wouldn’t, ever afterwards, call him up on the phone twice a week and make sure he wasn’t checking the car’s gas levels by matchlight. Over and done, 'twould be.
Mommy needs to be a bit more paranoid/protective of Kidlings than of Spouse, because Kidlings honestly don’t know that you’re not supposed to peer into a gas tank by matchlight, so once you knock the match out of her hand, then you explain calmly to her that you’re not supposed to do that because it could be Very Dangerous, It Might Blow UP!!–no casting aspersions upon her intelligence, see.
Hope this is helping.
Hon, parenting is scary to everybody, even those of us who had textbook Norman Rockwell childhoods with the turkey dinners and the visit to the kindly old family doctor.
You learn as you go along, you make mistakes, but they aren’t world-shattering mistakes, and if you had any kind of normal childhood at all–which, your interfering mother notwithstanding, I detect that you did, mostly (you weren’t sexually abused or systematically starved or pimped out on the street corner, you weren’t beaten every Saturday night, you weren’t, worst of all, completely ignored, unless I’ve missed those threads)–anyway, you’re halfway normal 
, and Mr. Mouse provides the other half. And your native intelligence and sturdy common sense will fill in the blanks quite nicely.
“Being able to spank your children” isn’t an important parenting skill, anyway. I didn’t go into parenting in August 1984 telling myself, “Well, at least I can spank my kids if I need to.” I had never even done any babysitting outside of a single outing when I was 14, which did not go well. And suddenly there I was raising a baby at age 29.
But as you go along and have to Solve Problems, you find that your subconscious provides the solutions that your parents used on you, automatically, without you having to think about it. Problem: toddler removes clothing and runs down the street gleefully naked. Solution pops out, unbidden: Intercept, re-clothe, explain firmly that “We don’t run around naked.”
So where your challenge will lie is in detecting when the solution that pops out is one of your mother’s solutions that you, now more enlightened and mature, feel is undesirable, and in being able to modify it to be more suitable. Or in scrapping it completely and going with what Mr. Mouse’s automatic solution would be. Or even in consulting an Internet message board for still other solutions.
