Hear, hear.
BTW Com2Kid, how does the barbed wire buttplug fit?
- s.e.
“What’s for dinner, Ma?”
“Socks, dear…”
Uh?
[announcer voice]
And, from out of left field…
[/announcer voice]
and, while I’m here, : blows big kisses to matt_mcl for defending her point, jayjay for same and scott evil just because he’s here. 
Aww… you be so sweet, honey child. 
- s.e.
matt–my apologies for not making this clearer but I never got the impression that you were being promiscuous out of ignorance; on the contrary, you seem to be remarkably well informed on the matter of safe sex and STD’s. That’s where I had the problem, in fact, as I couldn’t see how someone so aware of the risks would continue to take them. I think Miller put it best when he said it all comes down to risk assessment: we’re both looking at the same information and you’re gleaning from it the fact that your chances of infection are fairly low whereas I’m looking at it and seeing the result if you are infected. I don’t think we’re going to ever see eye-to-eye on this, quite frankly and my intent here isn’t to ‘convert you to a virtuous lifestyle’ or anything silly like that (as I’ve said before, change comes from within). What I am trying to do is provide a counterpoint to a particular ideology/pattern of behavior/whatever you want to call it that you–and a few other rather vocal posters–happen to espouse. Now you and a few others (gobear springs to mind) have said your sex lives are none of my business and ordinarily I would wholeheartedly agree. However, when you post details of said sex lives to a public bulletin board, you open up it up to discussion IMO. Also, getting an STD doesn’t just effect you: it also has the potential to effect not only everyone you come into intimate contact with but also family, friends, etc. etc. These two reasons are pretty much why we’re delving into y’alls sex lives right now. It’s not like I’m running down the street accosting strangers and screaming at them ‘Are you wearing a condom?’ or hijacking threads on Madonna to give boring, drawn-out descriptions of what a genital wart looks like. Sheesh…
Now I have to admit my jaw dropped so low from astonishment when I read that your doctor(s) aren’t cautioning y’all on this behavior that I about unhinged it. The healthcare professionals here at the University are essentially saying the exact opposite: limiting you sexual activities is the best way to avoid STD’s. To me it’s analogous to saying you can avoid contracting Ebola by not preparing a corpse in a certain way (traditional burial practices in the area where Ebola first broke out required that any material left in the corpse’s stomach and intestines be removed prior to burial–this was one of the major ways in which the disease initially spread) but that if you really want to continue this practice, you can minimize your risk by wearing these rubber gloves. Now did the villagers in the infected area shrug, take the gloves and continue preparing their dead in the customary way? Hell no, they minimized their exposure to the infected corpses and tossed them in a grave as soon as possible. I just find it interesting that y’all are reacting the same way they did.
I’m not suggesting everyone become celebate (and I don’t hate rock-and-roll and drugs Miller although I’m thinking listening to too much pop music and/or doing heroin will rot your brain) here, just that everyone realize that the type of lifestyle that matt, scott and several others on this board lead requires a certain amount of risk and can have severe consequences if you’re unsafe/unlucky. They’ve all considered these factors and have come to the conclusion that they are minimal compared to the satisfaction they get from having lots of sex–fine; I just ask that anyone considering this lifestyle put the same amount of thought into it that matt and scott (and anyone else who I’ve missed) has. That is all.
Well, I agree with you there, but I really should point out that, while I cannot speak for matt_mcl, I don’t consider myself as leading a “promiscuous lifestyle.” I happen to have had many one-time sexual partners, and several fuckbuddies, over the years. However, I’ve always open to having a monogamous relationship with one person when he comes along. Therein lies the difference. I just don’t think I should deny myself sex with others (wanking can get so boring) just because I haven’t met the next Mr. scott evil.
- s.e.
Aw, dang. Just as I was about to post a real reply, matt went and said it all for me - and better, too.
Esprix
No gay poster has posted details of their sex lives; the most I’ve said is that I am in a monogamous relationship, which invalidates your position.
And your sentence about STDs affecting your family, friends and so forth is laughably absurd. I have a family member who has an STD caught through monogamous heterosexual relations (his ex-wife gave it to him). His condition impacts my life not one bit.
See, this proves you’re just not paying attention. Every gay man posting in this thread practices safer sex. Every gay man posting in this thread has tested negative for HIV, and none of us have caught anything worse than crabs.. That means we are limiting our sexual activities. You can give 100 guys a handjob, and catch nothing, but you can sex down one woman and catch HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, or syphilis.
GRRRRRRRRRR! This is the second time today I’ve been mistaken for matt_mcl! :mad:
hug
Wanna have a slut moment with me to get over the anger?
Matt err Scott good post, but again I’m afraid we’re going to have to agree to disagree. To me having a ‘fuckbuddy’ is indicative of promiscuity simply because it implies having more than one sexual partner (i.e being intimate with two or more people in the same general time frame). That’s fine though, nothing written in stone which says we’ve all got to sit around and sing Kumbyah (sp?) to each other!
Gobear I have no desire to turn this into a flamefest–more than enough of that going on in other areas of this thread and in the Pit in general. Hell, I’ll even agree with you on the ‘limiting sexual activities’ objection you raised–I was using it in the sense of penetrative sex and recognize there are a variety of other ways to have sex which are much safer than intercourse. So yea, good point. When you say having an STD doesn’t affect family and friends (in fact you say it’s laughably absurd) I start seeing red however. So you don’t care about your relative who has an STD; does that mean the entire human race feels the same way? Is there no one out there that cares if you are in pain? If so, I’m truly sorry. Have you never felt any sort of empathy for someone else who is dying a horrible death or dealing with pain and discomfort on a daily basis even if you don’t even know them? I mean come on gobear, accept the fact that somewhere out there in this huge world of ours there might actually be some people who give a damn about others. I’m certainly no saint but even I, on occasion, have felt compassion for someone I didn’t know due to the circumstances they were in. You attitude strikes me as being remarkably callous, cold and self-centered. I also note that you disregarded the part of my post where I mentioned the impact an STD could have on any of your intimate partners; curious omission, that. Regarding the ‘details’ concern you raised: read the post that started my reaction (link is above somewhere) and then get back to me.
That’s not what I said. I said that his STD doesn’t affect me, and it doesn’t. I love him very much, but I don’t say, “Hey how’s the herpes today?” We don’t talk about it.
Nope. I care about my family and friends, but I don’t grieve over people I don’t know. Think about it: how you can have any feeling for someone you don’t know, never heard of, never met?
And you strike me as a fluffy-headed dipstick.
In any event, this is not about the Importance of Caring; this is about you telling other people how to live their lives, and especially telling gay men about matters on which they are far more expert than you. Hell, I’ve been fucking guys longer than you’ve been alive, I’ll wager. You, lil bunny Wabbit, are being impertinent in trying to instruct your elders on STDs.
Heh, that’s rich: first time I’ve ever been called ‘fluffy’. Usually people accuse me of the opposite in fact. Ok gobear, can we at least agree on this: if you get an STD, you can potentially infect other partners with it, thus making your sexual practices more than simply your concern? At the very least, it impacts your boyfriend too. How about that, and we won’t even get into all that ‘fluffy’ stuff you so distain.
And good luck to you on your continued fcking there gobear, may you have many more years of fcking to your heart’s content. Let no one say I don’t respect my elders…
Well, since I’m monogamous, and I have zero STDs, the issue is moot. However, if a person has an STD, it is absolutely imperative to notify potential sexual partners. But there is no need to tell anyone else. “Hey Ma, I got the clap!” “That’s nice, dear.”
That one time I got crabs from that piece of white trash from New Jersey, I had to tell someone… My ex was still living one floor below me, and I needed all of his laundry money right away, to wash the sheets.
Me (frantic, having just discovered I had crabs): “I need your laundry money! Now!”
Him: “Why?”
Me: “I HAVE FUCKING CRABS!”
Him: “OH MY GOD, YOU ARE SO GROSS!”
Me: “It’s NOT MY FUCKING FAULT! I got them from that guy in New Jersey!”
Him: “You are SO GROSS!” etc. etc.
::sigh::
The poetic justice of it all (well, in a sick way) is that a year or so ago he caught some STD - I forget which.
- s.e.
Um, scott, dearest, I wasn’t confusing you with matt - I was referring to his post here.
Trust me, I could never confuse anyone with mon petit chou aux Montreal. [sub](Um, meaning matt, that is.)[/sub]
Esprix
But can you see how I could easily be offended?
- s.e.
matt and I have history, pet. Don’t take it personally. (I like you, too!)
Esprix
That isn’t the opposite of what he says: it’s exactly what he says, and it’s what I do. I limit my sexual activities to ones that, in my doctor’s opinion, are at an acceptably low risk of transmitting STDs.
No, no, I didn’t take it personally. I was trying to take a light-hearted jab at him, that’s all.
Anyway, I have more than my fair share of worshippers on the SDMB. 
- s.e.