And, Kid (that user name is becoming more and more appropriate), I’ll even go so far as to do something I told myself I’d never do on this board:
Reveal the approximate number of sexual partners I’ve had.
And if I do, you bloody well keep it in mind that I’m not only HIV-negative, but have never contracted an STD aside from crabs, and even that was only once.
Oops, sorry scott (and matt) and I agree with what you said re: the straight community not mobilizing to stop HIV fast enough. Hell, you could make a strong case that they actually hindered it when you factor in resistance to sex ed, needle exchanges and passing out free condoms. All I’d ask is that you don’t rest on your laurels as we’re not out of the woods yet and that you consider that just because you don’t have an STD yet doesn’t mean that you won’t ever get one.
And thanks for the advice SisterCoyote; the few times I’ve pulled the ‘sanctimonious sex ed. guy’ (does that sound like a SNL routine or what) routine in real life have been quite memorable so I now only bring it up when it seems to be a pattern of behavior that no-one appears to be voicing concern over. I may be dense, but I ain’t no dummy! 
Well, the difference between your hypothetical situation and the one that spawned this thread is that, as far as I know, Esprix and Wabbit are not friends. A better analogy (although still not perfect, this being a public message board and all) would be if you overheard a stranger talking about all the hot gay sex he’d just had, and you rushed over to ask if he’d been using protection. Showing concern for your friends is okay, butting into the lives of people you don’t even know is rude.
Wabbit: This really isn’t so hard to understand. All it comes down to is differing levels of threat assessment. You seem to view sex as having an (unreasonably, IMO) high threat level. Others, such as, say, matt_mcl, view it as having a lower threat level. You also value the rewards differently. For some people, and you seem like one of them, sex without an emotional bond is meaningless. For other people, the sex act is seperate from the emotional bond, and is valuable in and of itself. So, if they judge the threat level to be reasonably low, and the rewards to be reasonably high, the risk is worth taking.
It seems, based on your posts here, that you’re basing a lot of your preconceptions on this issue on the death of your friend. While I am sorry for your loss, you need to understand that what happened to her is not the automatic and unavoidable result of a promiscuous lifestyle. It’s possible, yes, but it’s far from certain. And what if she had gone away and been crippled in a car accident, and came back home only to eventually die of her permanent injuries? Arguably, a fate no less awful that dying of AIDS. Would you have sworn off automobiles? The simple fact is that every action we take could have fatal consequences. Sex is no different.
Wabbit, two things:
For your last post,
And I’m sorry about your friend. 
Also, kisses to Miller. You said what I was trying to say, without the temper tantrum.
History will recall,
Reagan did the least of all.
How many people had to die before that fucker of a president even mentioned the word AIDS let alone provided funding for research and prevention.
I’m aware of that. Just because I’ve had X number of sexual partners (no one’s asked me to disclose the number yet, so I’ll refrain) and haven’t contracted an STD doesn’t mean I think I’m somehow immune. Look, it’s second nature for me. If I’m gonna fuck a guy, I slap on a condom. Period. And if I see something weird on my dick or have burning discharge, I’ll go the doctor ASAP.
I also won’t sleep with someone if I take off his pants and see warts or whatever. I mean, come on, I’m not fucking blind. OK, many are asymptomatic. But that’s not going to stop me from enjoying my sexuality.
Then let me try it another time. I “condone” a “promiscuous lifestyle” because I am living it, and find it to be in accordance with my ethics, experience, philosophy, aesthetic sense, factual knowledge, and sense of self-preservation. You disagree, which is apparently why we don’t have the same lifestyle. Fine. What I object to is being told repeatedly why I am foolish for living the way I do - because I have not considered the implications of my acts, which in fact I have.
This is a complete non sequitur. I too deplore the mollifying effect on safe-sex practices of the availability of AIDS treatments to an elite few HIV-positive persons. However, I am not promiscuous because I believe that protease inhibitors will save me; I am promiscuous because the information that has come my way from my doctor, my volunteer work with a variety of gay and AIDS support resources, and the rest of the scientific material I’ve come across, not to mention the experience of friends and acquaintances, has shown me that my behaviour is at low risk.
My doctor, a gay man, many of whose patients are HIV positive, and who constantly bemoans the number of patients he sees seroconverting, grills me thoroughly about my sexual practices at every checkup. I am perfectly honest with him about the nature, techniques, and frequency of my sexual contacts. Until and unless he indicates distress with that or tells me to do anything other than what I am doing, I will continue. No offense, but I told you about this in the thread you linked to, I consider my personal physician’s opinion more important than yours, and I’m getting a little sick of your presuming I should do otherwise.
Matt,
I appreciate your post. It’s easy to understand, hard to argue with ( 
) and makes it very apparent that you have intelligently put some planning and thought into how you choose to live your life. Your post sheds some light (as others have) on why this is such a hot topic, one that until recently I was unaware of.
Now, I have couple of questions for you. Sincere questions because I want informed answers from a promiscuous person ie. someone who has met a lot of gay people (hope I’m not being presumptuous. I just haven’t had the fortune ).
A) Do you think the majority of men that you encounter, have a similar philosophy regarding consulting with their physician and/or being as knowledgable as they can.
B) Does the fact that some gay men are not taking safe sex as seriously as they should, cause you to reconsider your choices or reconsider advocating them (if you, in fact, do?)
I know these are personal questions but I’m interested in the answers and I respect the source.
I appreciate that, musicguy. The answer to the questions you pose are 1) I make no assumptions and 2) no, because my doctor and I take both of those factors into account. We should be foolish not to.
To clarify, I mean, my doctor and I, when discussing my safe sex behaviour, do so in a context which assumes that not everyone I have sex with is as safe as I. (And his conclusions and advice are still the same.)
Fair enough, thanks.
scott, gobear, hamish, esprix or any of the other gay males for that matter
Do you have anything to add or a different response to the questions I posed to Matt?
Don’t want to give the impression that I don’t value your opinions as well.
I do not tend to be especially promiscuous, or so I’ve noticed over time. But I live my emotional and sexual life intensely, seeking pleasure and excitement.
I do attempt to be responsible, meaning that I take measures to avoid spreading communicable diseases to others. On the other hand, some degree of risk seems unavoidable, and I simply accept that. Being sexually active could kill me. Well, death is inevitable in the long run and I’m not going to lose any sleep over it.
Frankly, I don’t see anything at all wrong with promiscuity – for women, for heterosexual people, for gay folk, for guys – my trend is more of a slow-motion “serial monogamy” without promises, your mileage and that of other people may vary, but under any circumstances why point fingers?
It isn’t as if people were taking ridiculous risks for something trivial. Sex and love are a long long way from trivial.
And, to follow what Ahunter said, we all assess risk differently.
Kid, I think where the communication breakdown is happening is that you’ve made a decision about what is an appropriate risk for you. Which is all well and good, fine, more power to you.
What isn’t so well and good is that you’ve come in here, guns ablazing, and basically said, “This is where my line is and so everyone else’s line should be here, too!” This, is not so good.
For example. My roommate, who is an Air Force Brat, is comfortable around guns. To her, having a gun in the house is an acceptable risk, and one she’s willing to take.
Her sister, with the same upbringing, also has an 8-year-old child in the house with her. To her, having a gun in the house is NOT an acceptable risk. So, she doesn’t take it.
Johnny L.A. likes motorcycles. (He’d have to explain his reasons to you). So, he considers riding one to be an acceptable risk.
I don’t. I would rather have unprotected sex with someone I knew relatively well* than get on a motorcycle. Again, the line is drawn somewhere different for each of us.
*I wouldn’t have unprotected sex with someone I didn’t know for any amount of money, however. I draw the line there.
Even though I’ve said it several times, I’ll repeat myself because nobody seems to be listening: I have for the last year been 100 percent monogamous with my BF. I might be willing to take a (low) risk with my health, but I NEVER would with his.
I think so, just because the majority of guys I’ve slept with in the past asked about my sexual history and were conscious about being safe.
Npot at all. My own perspective is that everybody but me is poz. I take it for granted that any guy I might sleep with (if I were single) has HIV, and I act acordingly. I have no patience with guys who relax safer sex precautions because “he looked healthy” or " he said he was negative." Rule No. 1 is “You are responsible for your own health.”
gobear,
Just for the record, I am listening. I appreciate your input.
By the way, this thread has a pretty low ignorance level compared to what is going on in this thread
in case anyone is interested
My doctor is the same with me. He’s gay, and he’s quite straightforward (no pun intended) with his questions about my sex life.
He has no problem with my occasional cruising the clubs, or even the baths, if it so strikes me. If, in his educated medical opinion, which Kid does not have, I’m taking care of myself, and avoiding putting myself at risk, then that’s the last word. I’m not going to listen to some shitfucktard on some message board who portends to know everything.
Now go back to naptime and shut the fuck up. Hasn’t summer school started yet?
Oh for crying out loud, I said EDUCATED ABOUT THE DANGERS.
Before the disease was well known about? Hell yes, that was DEFINATLY a tragedy;
After the advertising blitz during the 90s? After it being made standard part of public school education, from;
Oh lets see, my local school district does HIV/AIDs education FROM THE FOURTH GRADE ON UP*;
I am saying that anybody who CONTINUES with dangerious practices after knowing that there is a risk. . . . Yeesh.
And I don’t care if the person is Gay or not. Fact of the matter is, if people stopped f*cking around so much HIV/AIDs would be removed from the non-third world rather quickly, with needle sharing, blood transfusions, and rape being its only means of transmission.
Granted rather signifigent means still, but hell, see any of my rants against drug usage. If people stopped fucking around AND stopped shooting up society would damn nearly have the thing licked.
*well they did when I went there, but public school programs change all the time.
Congratulations on NOT paying attention in sex ed class, if you had you would realize that there are plenty of other STDs out there besides AIDs, many of which are transmitted in a far easier manner then AIDs is.
Yeesh.
Read 'dem books next time, k? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
Fine: there are several sex acts I can perform (and usually DO) that are at no, or very low, risk of STDs in general. Also sprach the books. And my doctor backs me up on this. Whom I trust somewhat more than you.
Com2Kid, fuck. off.
And take your arrogant attitude with you. You’re no Cecil.
jayjay