It's called an Arnold Palmer for a reason, douche.

[Miller]

@Rigamarole

OK, real answer? Because it belittles the person who invented it, and by extension their race, by implying “I know who invented it, but I will call it by the name of someone who had absolutely nothing to do with it who is of a race I prefer.” As a server I have to put up with plenty of belittling attitudes to begin with, and when shit like this goes down, it certainly doesn’t help.

How does race come into it? Even if it “belittles” the person whose drink is being renamed, why is it automatically racially motivated?

I mean, Jesus, if there’s a racial element to this at all, it’s probably just because Tiger Woods is the one golf player most black people even know. It’s not like golf has a huge African-American following. Hell, I’m not black, and I barely know who Arnold Palmer is. He’s some old dude I’ve never seen before, who used to play golf, but apparently doesn’t any more. Tiger Woods, on the other hand, is a young, charismatic guy who’s all over magazine covers and TV. If I all I know about the guy my favorite drink is named after is that he’s a golfer, why not just call it after the one golfer I could pick out of a crowd? That’s not racist, that’s just trendy.

[tomndebb]

@Rigamarole

OK, real answer? Because it belittles the person who invented it, and by extension their race, by implying “I know who invented it, but I will call it by the name of someone who had absolutely nothing to do with it who is of a race I prefer.” As a server I have to put up with plenty of belittling attitudes to begin with, and when shit like this goes down, it certainly doesn’t help.

How to respond to this eloquent and perspicacious analysis of the situation?

Oh, yeah: bullshit!

I strongly suspect that not one person in twenty knows the origin of the term “Arnold Palmer” or has heard that it honors the creator of the drink. (For that matter, given that I created the drink, on my own, without ever having heard the name and that the basic ingredients are far older than Mr. Palmer, I doubt that there is any legitimate reason to believe that HE “created” it, (although it is quite possible that he popularized it in a rather small social circle).)
Arizona Iced Tea (that actually markets a variety under the name “Arnold Palmer” (strongly suggesting that he has cooperated with them in marketing his name) makes no mention of Mr. Palmer “creating” the drink. A short trip (four pages) through Google™ does not provide a single citation that Mr. Palmer had any part in “creating” the drink.

There are genuine drinks out there that have the names of real people for which we do not have reliable information regarding their creation (Tom Collins, Gibson, a few others). So your claim that the drink was named for Arnold Palmer because he created it is simply something you invented or a sloppy legend that has wandered around a few bars and cocktail lounges with no basis in reality.
Given that fact, the further idea that the name is being re-assigned in order to deprive him of his much deserved glory or is being taken away from him for the express purpose of denigrating him because of his race is both utterly lacking in facts and is, frankly, stupid. (Note that the one actual example of a person who discusses the name change, as cited by Larry Mudd, is a white New Yorker.)

You have made an assertion that is not supported by a single fact for the express purpose of raising a racial issue where none exists. You are simply making it up and your petulance looks sillier every time you post.

[The_King_of_Soup]

And that, children, is why the restricted country club was invented: as a refuge for white male golfers against the vicious racism of elderly, thirsty black women. Such racism must be wipespread indeed – just look at how many of the things are necessary in this country. I’ve heard there are places where such clubs hardly exist: black people much be much less bigoted there.

[crowmanyclouds]

@Frank

… You must have missed the one where a lady ordered milk in a bar.

But did she order regular milk or chocolate milk?

CMC fnord!

[Malacandra]

@Stranger On A Train

Yeah, but those are made with Courvoisier VSOP. And Arnold Palmer doesn’t drink them with his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on principle.

Stranger

“Courvoisier? Ain’t that one a them fancy likkers?”

[Contrapuntal]

@Rigamarole

OK, real answer? Because it belittles the person who invented it, and by extension their race, by implying “I know who invented it, but I will call it by the name of someone who had absolutely nothing to do with it who is of a race I prefer.” As a server I have to put up with plenty of belittling attitudes to begin with, and when shit like this goes down, it certainly doesn’t help.

Belittling attitudes are not racism. Not even close. Even granting every cock-eyed premise you have offered there was no racism there.

[AncientHumanoid]

A friend of mine lost his eyelids in a bar fight. The doctors decided to take his foreskin and craft new eyelids for him. Worked out okay, but he is a little cock eyed now.

[Uvula_Donor]

@Rigamarole

OK, real answer? Because it belittles the person who invented it, and by extension their race, by implying “I know who invented it, but I will call it by the name of someone who had absolutely nothing to do with it who is of a race I prefer.”

Your user name should be Old Hatchet, because you are the fucking dullest tool in the shed.

[you_with_the_face]

Arnold Palmer invented iced tea + lemonade like Christopher Columbus discovered America.

[The_King_of_Soup]

– “When a legend dies, another must rise to take his place.”

                                                          --The Scroll of Explanations
      -- "Especially a really, you know, *legendary* legend like, say, Arnold Palmer is in golf.  When *he* finally kicks, everybody who ever swung a club is gonna want a piece of *that* magic, you dig?"

                                                          --The Scroll of Overexplanations

Wholecloth Productions Presents…
HIGHLANDER V or maybe VI: THE BEVERAGING.
Gary McCord: Half a millennium ago, magical warrior-adepts in the highlands of Scotland invented a sophisticated, terrifyingly beautiful and deadly form of combat. To shield themselves from the spies of James I, they disguised the practice exercises or “katas” as the most inane sport they could imagine without giggling.

Verne Lundquist: Five centuries later, expert practicioners from all over the world converge on Latrobe, Pennsylvania, stronghold of a once-great master now in decline. Anticipating his imminent ascension to a higher plane, they have committed themselves to days, perhaps weeks, of bloody battle over what they call “The Prize.”

McCord: God-like knowledge and power–

Lundquist: --And, more important, the right to eponymize a refreshing drink. To the victors go the lightest, tastiest libations…

McCord: Whereas the names of the losers get plastered on the kind of sludge even those jokers at Snapple wouldn’t bottle and palm off on a gullible public.

Lundquist: We join the action in the third round with Tiger Woods, who has easily dispatched both his opponents so far.

McCord: In the first round, Woods saw to it that anyone asking for a Fuzzy Zoeller in the future will be enjoying a frosty mug of collard juice and giblet gravy.

Lundquist: And John Daly’s name now describes a blend of Yoo-Hoo and MD20/20, spiked with Antabuse.

McCord: In this round, Tiger’s matched up with Michelle Wie. Let’s go to the action:

Wie: You are doomed to a fate of tepid Tab, for my golfing technique is clearly superior!

Woods: Superior, huh? You better come closer so you can fight me, and I will make you eat those words with the same mouth that has spoken them!

Wie: And I – wait, what?

THWOCK! THWOCK! HOOK! SLICE! THWOCK! THWOCK!

Wie: Aieee! I am defeated!

Woods: Yes you are! And you are also a combination of Midori and Club Soda, poured over shaved ice in a Collins glass whose rim is coated in half-sugar, half-salt!

McCord: And that…that actually sounds pretty good. Tiger’s being generous.

Lundquist: Generous, Gary? Miss Wie was born in October 1989. Tiger’s “generosity” has saddled her with a delicious beverage, named for her, which she cannot legally order anywhere in the U.S. for another three years!

McCord: Ooooh. She has become the girl who cannot speak her own name. The claw of the Tiger is sharp, but the curse of the Tiger is subtle.

Lundquist: Can the aphorisms, Gary. Just hand over that index card right now.

McCord: Okey-doke.

Lundquist: On to the final round. Tiger will be mixing it up with the last golfer with a claim to the ultimate prize – Phil Mickelson.

Mickelson: I aim to defeat you, Tiger. I’m such an idiot.

Woods: Fore, mother^)%$#@!

THWOCK! THWOCK! SLICE! HOOK! HOOK! THWOCK! THWOCK! SLICE! PUTT! PUTT! WEDGE!

McCord: And Phil seems to have thrust his sand wedge directly through his own head.

Lundquist: Always a risk for a lefty. Tiger’s definitely got the advantage now. Let’s see how he uses it.

Woods: Hey, Mickelson, I got a riddle for you about your future. What’s cool and refreshing and has only one calorie?

Mickelson: Um, ah, could it be a…oh, I give up.

Woods: I shoulda said, what’s cool and refreshing, has only one calorie, and is named after you? You wanna know what it is? You wanna know how you’re going down in history? Okay, listen up…what’s cool and refreshing and has only one calorie…is…is…A GLASS OF WATER WITH A BUG IN IT! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

McCord: Well, that wasn’t very subtle.

Lundquist: And that leaves Tiger Woods to claim The Prize: dominion over most of the universe, and, the tough one, bestowing his name upon the thirst-quencher of his choice. And, as expected, he’s picked the iced-tea-and-lemonade combo, previously known as the Arnold Palmer. A good choice, I think: classic, non-alcoholic, cheap and enjoyable by everyone.

McCord: Sounds good to me. I’m a little parched, myself. Do you get free refills?

Lundquist: You unutterable fool! There can be only one!

[Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical]

Well done. I especially loved this:

@The King of Soup

– Generous, Gary? Miss Wie was born in October 1989. Tiger’s “generosity” has saddled her with a delicious beverage, named for her, which she cannot legally order anywhere in the U.S. for another three years!

Fore, motherfucker indeed.

[Ponder_Stibbons]

Ah, King of Soup, 'tis a royal funny thou hast bestowed upon us.

[Larry_Mudd]

@Miller

How does race come into it? Even if it “belittles” the person whose drink is being renamed, why is it automatically racially motivated? […]

Hell, I’m not black, and I barely know who Arnold Palmer is. […] Tiger Woods, on the other hand, is a young, charismatic guy who’s all over magazine covers and TV.

Also, put yourself in the place of someone drafting a drinks menu. Which is sexier? “Arnie,” or “Tiger?”

Tough one, eh? If you absolutely have to use a cutesy nickname, you probably want one that doesn’t sound improbably fucking dorky.

[Monty]

Sorry, The King of Soup, but even if I were still an imbibing person, I don’t think I could order with a straight face any drink that sounds like “Wee.” It just doesn’t have the right connotation, if you get my splatter…er, drift.

Customer: Bartender! Give me a Wie!
Bartender: You want wee? In a glass?
C: Of course! Wie in a glass is the only way to have it.
B: Okay, it’s your order.
{Bartender turns around to get a glass and urinates into it.}
B: Here you go mister.
C: {Sips the drink} What? I ordered a Wie not a beer!

By the way, do you recall that Chappelle Show skit in which representatives of the various races in the US were participating in an auction for the right to claim certain celebrities as members of their race and no others? Maybe Rigamarole should get all his easily-offended waitstaff friends together and conduct one for drink names.

And, Rigamarole, you still haven’t told me if there’s another name for the California Chocolate Milk I described earlier.

[The_King_of_Soup]

Har! Point taken, though I worked as a bartender long enough to know that people will order incredibly disgusting-sounding things (afterbirth, angel cum, baby’s blood, blowjob, and that’s not even a gag-inducing-enough sample of A through B), so long as there’s assimilable alcohol in there somewhere: besides, expanding the name to a “Michelle Wie” should cover it for the squeamish. Besides, if a drink literally involved taking the piss out of someone, it would be called a rigamarole, and that’s already taken, apparently.

Missed the Chappelle show entirely, I’m afraid, though Tiger Woods is certainly fodder for the skit you described, even better and more contemporary than Iron Eyes Cody. I’m kind of an interesting anomaly in this regard. Everybody has stories of Jewish/Italian/Irish/Polish/Indian/Native American/something else/ people asking them, "Excuse me, are you perhaps Jewish?/Italian?/Irish?/Polish?/Indian?/Native American?/something else? But so far as I know, other people’s interrogators tend to be hoping for a “yes,” whereas mine tend to be happiest with the knowledge that I don’t represent their ethnicity, religion, political affiliation, etc.

But the thing that really gets me about this thread? It’s the cold-hearted, emotionally dead, hard-and-fast fact that sugar (or some sweetener) and lemon are standard ingredients in pretty much every iced tea ever offered for human consumption! I mean, what the hell is an “Arnold Palmer,” under any name whatever, except a waitress’ eventual exasperated response to a customer whose problem is that their iced tea tastes too much like iced tea?

[wring]

@The King of Soup

Missed the Chappelle show entirely, I’m afraid, though Tiger Woods is certainly fodder for the skit you described, even better and more contemporary than Iron Eyes Cody.

that skit was my first exposure to the show, and it was brilliant. Setting much like the sports drafts, with commentaters in suit jackets, Colin Powell was officially declared white after a trade that included Condi Rice.

But the thing that really gets me about this thread? It’s the cold-hearted, emotionally dead, hard-and-fast fact that sugar (or some sweetener) and lemon are standard ingredients in pretty much every iced tea ever offered for human consumption! I mean, what the hell is an “Arnold Palmer,” under any name whatever, except a waitress’ eventual exasperated response to a customer whose problem is that their iced tea tastes too much like iced tea?

oh I hear you. I order it plain. Give me a lemon, I’ll throw it at my hubby. have to be careful down south (and certain restaurants up here in MI, too) to order it “unsweatened”. Worst was day we went to the Maplesyrup festival and discovered after the fact that they’d sweatened it with maple syrup ::shivers::

[Contrapuntal]

@wring

have to be careful down south (and certain restaurants up here in MI, too) to order it “unsweatened”. Worst was day we went to the Maplesyrup festival and discovered after the fact that they’d sweatened it with maple syrup ::shivers::

Don’t come down to NC. We sweat in your tea whether you like it or not.

[wring]

@Contrapuntal

Don’t come down to NC. We sweat in your tea whether you like it or not.

dammit. I hate when I do that.

[tomndebb]

@wring

@Contrapuntal

Don’t come down to NC. We sweat in your tea whether you like it or not.

dammit. I hate when I do that.

Does not that make it salty rather than sweet?

[samclem]

@Contrapuntal

Don’t come down to NC. We sweat in your tea whether you like it or not.

Hopefully only in the Summer. I make it a point to go to NC to get Q only between Nov.-Mar.