I managed to miss the postings about “Sin City” before I posted my plea for copies of “Wounded Children.” Having read “Sin City,” though, I continue in my opinion that “Wounded Children” is a better read. Where else can you see little Bobby (? I think that was his name) with a look on his face like he got hit with a cod after stumbling across his father’s porno collection? Admittedly, though, “Sin City” is a more deliberate exercise in hate-mongering, since it shows gays as ruling the police and the courts. Sure, and the Jews own all the world banks, too! Ha ha.
Actually, I’m Eric Clapton.
[sub](And if you get that one, you’re…well, probably older than I am.)[/sub]
Wait a minute… Four pages of this and we haven’t had a Christian pop in to tell us about how biased against all Christians we are and this thread is evidence?
Satan, that’s because the proven liar, DITWD, has been banned. Remember?
He was banned eh?
Boy ya miss a lot over the weekend.
jr8: Yep, I’m older than you if youre 41 or younger.
I do recall the Creem magazine cover Clapton is God.
Do they (the Chick people) make t-shirts? That would be cool…heh heh
ROFL, but Some Poster’s Law says that no matter how off the wall a comment is, somebody will come up with a real-life analog of it. In this case, it’s me, and the truth is…
William Ewart Gladstone, head of the British Liberal Party in the late 1800s, and several times Prime Minister, used to go out on the streets of London at night and pick up prostitutes…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
and take them home, where his wife would feed them a good meal, and then the two of them would try to convert the girls with Bible study and counseling, and offers of help to get on their feet after quitting their Life of Sin.
Or at least that’s what he told the reporters!! 
Actually, he’s not the only person to make that claim.
And also, we all know that he never produced evidence anyway… 
Gosh, I’m not sure I can top such gems as Zion’s friction or Makes you pray/'Less you’re gay/Then you’re screwed, but I’ll do my best…
*How d’you do? I
See you’ve read my
Latest work of art.
It’s got this co-ed who can’t
See the flaws in my rant;
Good thing she’s not that smart.
Don’t think too much
'Bout the things I write;
Don’t use the brain that God gave ya.
This insistence on facts,
They’re just base attacks:
It’s okay to lie in order to save ya.
It’s just the Jack Chick website
Of irrational fundy mania (huh huh).
So you’ve got doubts 'bout the Flood
(And I knew you would);
Don’t place your trust in science.
If I say that it’s true,
That should be fine for you;
Goodbye to Reason; hello, Compliance.
It’s just the Jack Chick website
Of irrational fundy mania (huh huh).*
I’ll just stop there, if you don’t mind…
[sub]…lations![/sub]
Since we’re fighting ignorance (and, oh, what an ignorance it is), I figured we’d probably need some old war songs. (Plus, if I don’t post this, I’ll never get it out of my head!)
Sung to “When Johnny Comes Marching Home”
When Jack Chick makes up some shit again (Shut up, Jack Chick!)
We’ll open a thread to laugh at him (Shut up, Jack Chick!)
Evolution tracts[sup]1[/sup] are full of hot wind
With his reliance on “Doctor” Hovind
And he will be mocked
When Jack Chick makes up some shit
When Jack Chick keeps making up that shit (Shut up, Jack Chick!)
We’ll wonder why anyone’d fall for it (Shut up, Jack Chick!)
He’d send an eight year old kid to Hell[sup]2[/sup]
Says Muslims are under an evil spell[sup]3[/sup]
And we’ll all be shocked
When Jack Chick makes up some shit
How Chick’s brain works is a mystery (Shut up, Jack Chick!)
He don’t know Jack about history (Shut up, Jack Chick!)
“The gays will the kind Christian bruise”[sup]4[/sup]
“Cath’lic Nazis will kill the Jews”[sup]5[/sup]
And our jaws will drop
When Jack Chick makes up some shit
Jack Chick won’t stop making up his shit (Shut up, Jack Chick!)
One question - does he believe in it? (Shut up, Jack Chick!)
Is he preying on the gullible
Or does he buy into his own drivel?
And he’ll fleece the flock
When Jack Chick makes up some shit
1 http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0055/0055_01.asp (“Big Daddy”)
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5002/5002_01.asp (“It’s Coming”)
2 He implies that here: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0063/0063_01.asp (“The Little Princess”)
3 http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0042/0042_01.asp (“Allah Had No Son”)
4 http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5003/5003_01.asp (“Sin City”)
5 http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0054/0054_01.asp (“Holocaust”)
Disclaimer: This is not meant as an attack on legitimate Christianity or anything else except Mr. Chick.
Huh. I’m printing this page out.
jr8 is Clapton!
Gonna e mail this to some fundies I know…
Reading Harry Potter Book 1 now. Apparently most fundie Christians are guilty of the following:
Child abuse - forcing a child to live in a cupboard.
Child abandonment - leaving a chid at a train station, laughing at him.
Spoiling their child
And, …not going to church! You see the parents in Harry Potter never go to church, or mention JC or God once, that I can recall. They also admittedly do not love their nephew Harry.
Apparently this is how fundies behave, according to Chick. I’ve learned so much.
Now before you all flame me, I could not find a independent picture of Chick, But, if the picture on his website is him, doesn’t he look like Flanders from the Simpsons? Or am I the only person who see the resemblence?
All of you slay me, my boyfriend and I sat around the computer last night and sang along!
And crawling on the planet’s face (Who’s Jack Chick?)
Some insects, called the human race…
Lost in time, and lost in space,
And meaning.
It occurs to me. I’m Jewish. Other than the direct insults directed at my faith and the out and out hatred in some of them, I found Chick’s tracts kind of darkly amusing at the start. After reading a bunch of them, they got less amusing and seemed darker. Then I started thinking: How must real Christians (ie: those not moronic hate-mongers) feel when they find themselves associated with this hateful bastard. Hence the not-so-funny tone of the following:
I’ve read a lot
Of Jack Chick rants
They seem quite funny
at first glance
But all I know…
Is deep inside I’m
Grieving
Jack Chick has turned
The Love of God
Into a thing
both sick and odd
And I am sure
Somewhere C.S Lewis is
Weeping
And reading all those Jack Chick Tracts
Devoid of mercy, truth or facts
I really feel I need a bath
Or shower.
I’m not saying not to mock the guy, but I wanted to reassure the Christian Dopers that I don’t find this creep representative of them or their faith.
Fenris
PS: Thanks to Jeeves for reminding me of this song!!
Good Heavens Fenris!
Are you in the UK? “Superheros” was cut from the U.S. prints of the RHPS. I dunno how many dopers will recognize the song.
Nope, U.S.A. all the way (althought the best vacation of my life was in London last year)
Anyway, a)I collect musicals: It’s on all the various cast albums (Including the soundtrack, I believe) b) I’m certain I’ve seen it at least a few times when going to the movie and c)I have a Japanese-subtitled version (the subtitles are in Japanese, the dialogue in English) from the olden days when that was the only way to get it.
I know Super-Heroes was cut from some prints, but not that extensively! I find it hard to imagine the R.H.P.S. without Super-Heroes. Wouldn’t the ending be really, really abrupt?
Fenris
They cut from Brad, Janet and Dr. Scott leaving the mansion and it taking off to the whooo-oooohhs and the world starts to spin, then Chuckie delivers his soliloqy. It’s only abrupt if you’ve seen the full version. I only ever saw it with Superheros on video.
I’d just like to say, having read all of the musical interludes, the bizarre tangents and the deconstruction of Mr. Chick’s philosophy:
Y’all are some damn twisted fucks, and I love y’all for it. 'Specially jr8, Fenris, and weirddave.
You guys crack me up…I had to stop reading this thread in order to go rewatch the RHPS…now I’m gonna go back through this thread and c&p all the songs for my own personal songbook 
You guys rock!
And we love you too. No, really. And, more importantly, Jesus loves you. Yes, God too. Yes, and Barney. Yes, we all love you… Now put down the whiskey bottle and go to bed, John. [sub]No, I don’t want any, thank you. Yes, I’m sure it’s the “good stuff”. No, that’s okay, really. Honest, I would, but I just brushed my teeth…[/sub]