It's evolution or it's Jesus, Janet.

I think my favorite is “This Was Your Life.” Check it out in English first.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0001/0001_01.asp

Then go here and check it out in all different languages (it seems to be the most popular one, so it’s been translated a lot).
http://www.chick.com/catalog/TractLookUp.asp?Language=Arabic

It’s funny to see the changes made to the characters for different languages, and if you look in the frame where the guy is asking why no one told him about the whole sinning thing (where you see him stealing and lying in the background) he proves to be a “whoremonger.” A great word indeed (and a great face to go with it, he looks like Kramer), and now you can learn how to say it in lots of different languages!! Laugh and learn with Jack Chick!

Obviously Noah’s Ark was the original Bonsai Kitten.

Think about it, won’t you?

I’m ashamed of you people.

All those posts, and nobody’s even mentioned the Death Cookie.

Dark Dungeons is still beter, though.

Chick Tracts are, without exception that I have seen, pure bullshit. His evolution tracts really go beyond bullshit. But to call the new tract, “Sin City”, bullshit is to insult the slurry of grain, random animal parts, and antibiotics that went on to become bullshit.

Let us count the ways:

1.) Yes, local authorities not only wholeheartedly support gay rights displays, but go to the trouble of having lone, non-violent dissenters beaten up by the police.

2.) Christians being beaten senseless by gays? Is Chick on Bizarro World?

3.) Does Chick have any concept of what a “hate crime” is?

4.) I don’t know about you, but I think there’s something going on between Reverend Ray and Zanah, if you know what I mean. (Wink wink, nudge nudge.)

5.) “Bye, Ray! As a team, we sure ruined a lot of kids!” Shizzit.

6.) Chick conveniently leaves out the part of the Sodom and Gomorrah story in which Lot offers up his two hot young virgin daughters instead of the men. Sounds like a much better solution to me.

7.) “I’ve even preached that Jesus was gay!” I think that was the line I was reading when my brain, in an effort at self-preservation, had a massive hemmorhage. I’m better now.

8.) “That’s crazy! Jesus died on the cross, but he was only a man!” Sleeping a bit in those seminary classes, weren’t we, Rev? Shouldn’t have stayed up all night having hot, uninhibited male-male intercourse with demons.

9.) “I know I’m saved! I feel like a new person! And what’s more, my desire to have my penis wedged between the butt cheeks of a hot, young, sweaty, anonymous construction worker has vanished completely!”

This tract pisses me off for the same reason FriendOfGod’s insistences that Christians were more persecuted in our society than atheists did–it simply runs contrary to any reasonable perception of reality. It’s delusional. The evolution arguments I can almost see past, since the layman (such as Chick) can have a tough time telling bullshit science from actual science. (Not that he tries.) These arguments, on the other hand, show an unwillingness to acknowledge observable reality.

Dr. J

I realize it may be difficult to parody someone like Chick, but they put out some really funny stuff on this site. I recommend “Dead to rights,” wherein Chick gets hit by a car and goes to Heaven, then gets returned to Earth to live as a “poor Hispanic Catholic lesbian.” “The Holy and the Homo” is also quite amusing.

Since his Flood tract started this thread, maybe I could remind all of you that the Bible gives two different time frames for the post-Flood drying of the Earth; and it does so in consecutive verses.

Genesis 8:13 “…in the first month, in the first day of the month, the waters were dried up from off the earth…”

Genesis 8:14 “And in the second month, on the seventh and twentieth day of the month, was the earth dried.”

Now, now…these two verses are easily reconciled.

In the first, the waters were dried from the earth

In the second, the earth was dried from the water.

Two entirely seperate incidents. I can only assume that you brought it up to so that we can see an example of the sort of anti-Christian oppression that we’ve heard so much about recently. Or are you being unkind? They are in the minority, you know.

:rolleyes:

Fenris

I never know whether or not to laugh or cry when I see a Chick Tract.

Funny, how we talk about Christian persecution-I guess this is it…since I’m Catholic, I’m obviously going to Hell.

Jesus H. Christ on whole wheat toast! Ever see Doom Town, about Sodom and Gomorah or whatever? Funny how Chick is so against homosexuality, but seems to enjoy drawing homoerotic cartoons…hmmmmm…
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0273/0273_01.asp

Context is important, you need to read the entire verse. Verse 13 ends"…and behold, the face of the ground was dried"- ie, first the SURFACE of the ground was dried up, then the deeper portions.

And fenris, I appreciate the advertising back on page 1, but what I was complaining about was that there was “No debate going on”- just a few of you guys making up straw men, and then holding them up for the others to knock apart. Ie, you were “ranting”- and this is the appropriate place to “rant”, not GD. You want to bash folks for their beliefs, why- you have every right to do so, right? I will admit the “chick tracts” are pretty fair game.

“Strange Flesh” and “One Heartbeat From Hell” would make fine names for rock groups.

In that strip, Bob seems to bear an uncanny resemblance to Bud Abbott of Abbott and Costello fame.

I wonder how much the traffic has gone up on Chick’s site with this thread…

[sub]Hey, not me! I haven’t been there with this thread! Wait! Ow! Hey, I’d read almost all of them already! Leggo…[/sub]

Maybe he’s really the devil?

I mean those things are soooo 7th grade, soooo bad, I’m asking myself, how can they not be a parody?

For jacks’ sake, Burt Reynolds as the christian guy in Guins link?

Maybe they’re actually doing what Psycho Dave is doing only a much more subtle job of it?

I’ve found two or three Chick tracts in the wild- one (“Bad Bob”) was littering a parking lot, and got all soggy in the rain. I’ve noticed that around here you can’t go to the laundromat or the library without seeing “The Watchtower,” though. It’s becoming a navigational hazard, if you ask me. At least we don’t have the right-wing homophobic rag that people left at laundromats in my old environs, eh?

What I wonder about is whether the idea of leaving little comic books around would actually convert anyone at all, even if they were well written. I, for one, would love to see someone print up Chickesque comics which taught kids the facts about how to use birth control. You could imagine doing this for a lot of stuff- you could write one for gay teens, to help them navigate high school without killing themselves. The straight teens would make fun of it, but the target audience could be helped immeasurably. If I could draw well enough, I’d probably make some and distribute them over my website. People could print them out, fold them, and scatter them just like the Chicklets do.

-Ben

I showed a friend of mine the http://www.carm.org website once, and he was absolutely convinced that it was a parody run by atheists…

-Ben

I loved the clever use of the segue in the second pane.

Uhh… way to go Bob. I think Jason was using hyperbole.
And another thing I noticed. Jason says it’s the worst storm in history, and the TV Newscaster says that they are evacuating people, so why does Jason risk life and limb to drive Janet over so they can have a rather pointless theological debate? I mean really now, that’s just plain kooky.

Sigh.

If Jack Chick is the polar opposite of Cecil (I can’t remember who brought this idea up, but kudos to you. The actual quote is on the first page and I’m too lazy to look it up.), do you suppose that there are any Jack Chick Message Boards?

Did anyone else notice how much the Arabic guy in “This Was Your Life” resembles Freddie Mercury?

I will respond to DITWD using the “examine every word” technique of TheRyan in an attempt to leave no verbal loopholes or semantics qibbles big enough for the vast weasel powers of Danielinthewolvesden to squirm through. By the way…why “wolves” and not “lions”?

Note the phrase “you guys”, not “those guys”: From this we can conclude that Daniel is including me with the people he’s about to discuss, Remember this as we discuss the next point.

A lie. <sigh> Daniel, you must begin to use your vast weasel powers for good and not evil. If anyone curious would follow those links on the first page, they can see that I cited names, web-pages, radio shows, etc. I quoted real-life people’s arguments. QED, it’s not a Straw-Man.

I understand that for some reason you have a deep psychological aversion to admitting that people believe in a way different from yourself, but…and don’t trust me on this, follow the links yourself: the real-live people I cited on that thread do share Jack Chick’s view of Creation/Evolution/The Flood.

And it wasn’t just me. The other posters in that thread discussed the arguements of the Jack Chick sort of Creationist with a high degree of accuracy. How in the world is the accurate discussion of someone’s belief a straw-man arguement? Just as an aside, you do know that the phrase “straw man arguement” has nothing to do with a debate between the principal characters of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz right? The common useage is “Attacking a position that the opponent doesn’t hold, but attributing that position to the opponent”.

Another lie. David B. (here) said that this topic and the discussion at hand was appropriate for GD. David B. has the authority to determine appropriateness of posts. He (and Gaudere) left both posts where they were. Thus, we conclude it was not ranting. Another hint: someone holding a viewpoint different from your own, if expressed calmly is generally not considered ranting.

Interesting (and loaded) word choice. “Bash folks for their beliefs” huh? As opposed to “discussing and mocking the outright lies of creation ‘scientists’”? By the way, Daniel, you’ve stopped beating your wife, right?

**

You Will?! Gosh! Thanks! Gee…I guess I should ask you what else is fair game, since only apparently only some biblical literalist creation ‘scientists’ are “fair game”. Is Hovind’s take on the Creation/Evolution etc issue fair game? Hank Hanagraff(sp)'s Christian Research Institute? How does Bob Larson’s take on creation ‘science’ differ from Jack Chick? What about this guy? Perhaps you could set up a little web-site where you list all the people you think are “fair game” so we’ll know when we may incur your wrath and can brace ourselves for the onslaught of rigorous, accurate debate for which you are noted.

Y’know, this TheRyan method is a lot of work. Let’s see if it produces non-weasel results.

Fenris (and why “wolves” and not “lions”?)

Sure there is.

Chick Revisionism Alert!

It looks like “Big Daddy” has been changed. The old version didn’t have the “gluons” answer, but instead just had a picture of an atom and a quote about how “Jesus bindeth all” or some such, with no reply from the professor (other than incoherent weeping, IIRC.)

Call me ignorant, but don’t gluons hold quarks together into protons and neutrons? I thought pions were the mediating particles of the strong nuclear force.

You know, it takes real talent to be this stupid. I don’t think I could have come up with the Jesus=Strong Nuclear Force argument, myself.

-Ben

I always thought pions were religious particles…

::d&r::

The cartoon lists the measurements as 4507545 feet.