As noted in this thread, I did not get married. Today is the anniversary of me not getting married and I’m still wallowing in my aloneness so I wanted to take this opportunity to wish myself “Happy Non-Anniversary!”
And descamisado, there are still no gifts.
I didn’t get you anything, just like last year.
But it’s the thought that counts.
Happy non-iversary!
Has it been another year since I didn’t go to your wedding? Wow, time flies.
This isn’t my anniversary, either…but I’m married.
I don’t even remember not getting the invitation.
I know. I thought for sure I wouldn’t still be wallowing in my aloneness but, sadly, that is not the case.
Stop being so surly, chick! 
But, yeah, I feel ya. It sucks when all your friends are pairing off, and you start feeling so lonely.
I used to be un-married. I still am, but I used to be, too.
So is this the anniversary of your non-anniversary? And you admit to be still wallowing. May I suggest a celebratory dinner with bison steaks and a nap afterwards. That way you can claim an anniversary of your buffalo wallow.
I’ll be here all week.