• Away, for my mom’s 80th birthday (her present involved diamonds and platinum—I’m more of a pearl girl myself, but mother already has more pearls than Wrigley has gum).
• Busy—trying to get a first draft of my book done this month, and we’re just closing the Sept. issue at work.
• Hungry, headachey and cranky. I am fatter than ten pigs who have just eaten Elizabeth Taylor, so I am on a crash diet. I have to have a new author’s photo taken soon, and I do NOT want to tie my double chin back behind my head in a bow.
Did I miss anything? Feuds, bannings, ill-advised couplings?
Darling, it’s so good to see you again, and you simply are not fat, not by a long shot. Sit down, have some tea and do tell us about mum’s birthday celebration.
It’s been the normal about here, droll anecdotes, movie reviews, bits of sniveling from the pit, dead celebrities (with no eulogies from you, just not the same).
In Board news, there was a thread about silent screen actresses a few days ago, and everyone was betting on when you’d join in. I’d do a search and provide you a link, but I’m too lazy.
Gee, my mom just passed 80, too. So our moms were both about 35-ish when we were born. D’you think we were late-in-life surprise packages?
Strainger—a 4X4. That’s something to do with lumber, isn’t it?
Pug—I’m too lazy to do a search, too.
Manservant—Hmmm . . . How do you feel about vaccuuming?
Owl—Had a lovely time with my Mom, sister and brother-in-law. Cape May for a few days, back to Mom’s in Bryn Mawr, then Wintherthur (in Delaware) for her b’day. Perfect weather. Oh, and I know I am not “fat,” but I am 15 pounds heaver than I’d like to be. DAMN Mr. Metabolism, anyway! On the bright side, my hair looks GREAT.
Bunny—Nothing to add, but it seemed rude not to say “hello, bunny!”
Looks like I got back just in time to lead the Katharine Hepburn Death Watch!
Glad you’re back! I’ve assumed what lileks.comduties I could while you were away, but now that you’ve returned, Iam more than pleased to turn them back over to you.
Well, there was a bit of controversy over my using you as a featured title in my Doper Detective story which I was hoping that you’d weigh in on, but alas, it was all for nothing.
<sniff> I thought you’d done gone and left us, Mr. Eve. Good to hear that you’re still as addicted as the rest of us.
“I wonder if Eve’s not posted because she’s passed out on her floor from the general hilarity.”
—Yeah. That happens to me a lot. I actually got a “partial” of the Lileks book here at work, and it is brilliant—I know what everyone on MY Xmas list is getting this year!
Jester—I am delighted to have been the Lauren Bacall/Mary Astor character in your story! . . . But “Mr. Eve?” Who the hell are you, Jerry Goddam Springer or somethin’?
We were ready to send out a search party thinking maybe some natives had taken you off the boat and were about to make you the bride of their 50’ monkey-god. Alas, no, you were just with your Mother running hither and yon through the wilds of Pennsylvania and environs. We shouldhave know bettwer when Charlie, our Oriental cook, didn’t come running yelling “All hands on deck! All hands on deck! Crazy colored man took Missy from the boat!” (Care to take a wild guess as to what movie I watched last night?)
I took over your duties in the mortuary while you were away, Eve. The ink wasn’t even wet on the Doctor’s signature on Katherine Graham’s death certificate before I let the Board know. I’m now offering the handwritten “thank you note” I received from her on ebay - I’ve got some unforseen expenses and need to raise some cash quickly.
Well, now I feel dumb. Still…that talk show idea could be quite lucrative.
Next on “Jester Springer! Witty writing chicks who wish they weren’t!”
<ducks to avoid chair thrown by Ms. Eve>
So all of Eve’s books were really written by Bacon?
Welcome back, Eve. You did, I think, miss the Silo banning, but on the plus side, you also missed a round (and I use the word advisedly) of completely pointless musical posts.
Finagle—Silo was banned? Goodness. I don’t even want to KNOW, I will have Satan flashbacks.
Plnnr—You’re not far off. Actually, the mother story was a cover. I’d been engaged to marry King Westley on the 7th, but I ran off at the altar. Wound up on a cross-country bus, and if that nice reporter, Peter Warne, hadn’t brough me back, I’d still no doubt be off-line.
Eve, how delightful to see you again. I’ve been watching lots of Bette Davis films and reading Kind and Usual Punishment by Jessica Mitford - two women who make me think of you.
More tea? Or shall we get a nip of something stronger?